Decluttering 101 –

Early Spring? Why Not Early Spring Cleaning?

By Nancy K. Crevier

Clutter happens.

A little something here, a little something there, and the next thing you know, it is a big pile of stuff. Most people have things in various places throughout their homes that have piled up over the years. Because clutter can be so insidious, it is easy for it to get to the point that dealing with it is overwhelming. Deciding what to keep and what to throw can create such stress that nothing happens. Why is it so hard to declutter?

Newtown certified counselor Dorothy McCarty has seen clients with clutter issues that range from minor to obsessive.

“There is a fine line between a healthy balance and a not-so-healthy balance of clutter,” said Ms McCarty. “If you hold on to a few things as mementos, that’s fine. If you hang onto a lot of things and everything is too important to throw, that’s a problem. When you have so many things that it gets hard to put something away, or people mention the clutter to you, there’s a problem,” she said.

Often there is an emotional component to decluttering, whether it is simply cleaning out a drawer or emptying out a whole household, she said. “It isn’t the actual ridding of the possessions, but rather the perception of what it means to throw things away,” Ms McCarty said. For the task of decluttering to be successful, the person must want to, and by changing the perception of what it means to toss an item out or give it away, the task can become doable, she said.

Clutter is not uncommon, said licensed psychotherapist and social worker Mandy Tolson. Everyone has a room or a drawer in disarray. “This is a society in which we have a lot of ‘stuff,’” she pointed out, “and not a lot of time.” Keeping things organized can be a huge commitment. “Once it’s a big mess, people don’t know where to start, or how to deal with it,” she said.

Clutter builds up for a variety of reasons. Sometimes, it is simply that a person runs out of time. An item is set aside with the intent of taking care of it properly, but life gets in the way and suddenly that one thing is ten things. “That’s okay,” Ms McCarty said. “That’s just normal clutter buildup. If you put aside one thing after another because you don’t want to or can’t deal with it, that is not healthy.

“We tend to hold onto possessions that help us remember good times or loved ones,” she gave as another example of why clutter gathers and why it is hard to get rid of it. Grieving family members or friends might hold onto a personal possession as a keepsake. “It helps to feel like a part of that person is still there,” she said. But strive to keep a small number of mementos. Keeping a scarf or a special cup is different than never removing any items from a deceased’s closet or room.

Anxiety can also cause people to gather “stuff” around them. “Some people don’t throw anything away because their life is already in chaos,” Ms McCarty said.

Those who have once experienced financial distress might feel a need to stockpile items “just in case.” Stockpiling possessions can also give the illusion of fullness while in an empty, unsatisfying relationship, she added. Again, perspective is needed to reassess the true value of items and enable the person to let go.

That an item might one day be needed again, agreed Ms Tolson, is a big reason people hang onto things. For women, especially, clothing is one of those issues.

“Most women have at least three sizes of clothing in the closet, pieces that they hope will fit them again one day when they lose weight or it comes back in style. That leads to clutter,” said Ms Tolson.

Interfering With Life

Sentimentality around items can cause a person to cling to something that has long outgrown its usefulness, she said. “For some, there is a feeling of comfort to having their things around them, like a room full of books. It’s reassuring,” Ms Tolson said. And so long as those items are not embarrassing a person into not inviting company over or otherwise disrupting the normal flow of life, that’s fine.

Letting anything interfere with the ability to live life is a reason to take care of it, though, and that includes clutter. “It creates stress, so tackle it,” Ms Tolson urged. The initial investment in getting organized is worthwhile. It does, however, take ongoing maintenance to stay decluttered, she said.

If it causes anxiety to get rid of an item, it helps to ask what you are holding onto, said Ms McCarty. “Is it really the stuff? All that stuff might represent something lacking in life,” she said. Talking with a trusted friend or a trained professional can help sort out the emotional hold when “stuff” becomes your enemy.

Times of transition can invite a cleaning out of the physical environment, in response to the need to clean out emotions, or to let go. “For some, getting rid of clutter can elicit a feeling of freedom, power, or relief. It’s a way of purging and can help keep one’s life in order,” said Ms McCarty.

Life events such as having a baby, moving, or becoming an empty nester do trigger a need to rid ourselves of excess baggage, literally and figuratively, Ms Tolson said. “Very often, the mess on the outside is a reflection of what’s going on inside,” she said.

By periodically evaluating our living space and decluttering, the experience can be very cleansing, she added.

We do nothing without a purpose, Ms McCarty pointed out, whether it is adding to clutter or getting rid of clutter. Once a person identifies why they have held onto an object that is no longer functional, it becomes easier to part with it.

Both counselors agreed that having support for clutter projects can be highly productive and give that added push to parting with once-loved items.

“Schedule a fun weekend and enlist some friends or family members to come over if you just need a push in getting rid of stuff that has accumulated,” suggested Ms McCarty. Let friends decide for you which of the dozens of pens in the drawer are keepers and which can be tossed, for example — “and don’t let them even show you what they are throwing,” she said.

There are items that are difficult to get rid of because they are valuable, but which may have outgrown their functions in your household. Have any item appraised that you believe has value, then sell it, or give it to someone you care about who has a place for it, she said.

For a solo decluttering event, tackle just one small area at a time, even one corner of a room or one drawer. “Every time you go to that now decluttered space, you’ll feel good. The reinforcement to do another spot is there. Break it down into manageable jumps that aren’t overwhelming, and then it can be fun,” said Ms McCarty.

It is possible to toss something that you later regret, she said, but remember that there is always more stuff in the world. “You’ll make more memories,” she said.

Ms Tolson noted that there are many local organizations that will pick up donations, making it a simple process to expunge larger items from the household. And, she said, there are professional organizers who can step in to assist when the task seems insurmountable.

A Relationship With Stuff

Karen Pierce of Inner Spaces in Newtown is a professional yoga therapist, clutter therapist, and member of the National Association of Professional Organizers. Her businesses overlap, she said, as people realize that clearing internal clutter is as essential as clearing external clutter.

“Once people start feeling good inside with yoga, they want to feel good outside, too,” she said.

She had several tips for helping people rid themselves of the external clutter, which can build up due to a lack of time, but more commonly, because people do not know where to begin the task.

Ms Pierce provides all clients with a questionnaire to help pinpoint their style and their issues. “We have huge relationships with stuff, and most of it is emotional attachment,” said Ms Pierce.

She then schedules an in-home or in-office assessment to determine how she can help make the client’s vision happen. She sees her role to be a guide, and to provide people with links such as Freecycle.com or to local agencies that can take in useful but no longer needed items. She will only help a client organize his or her own items, too, never those of a spouse or housemate who is not present.

“We start with the easy stuff,” she said, those things that are hazardous or that a person is willing to get rid of. Then she uses the STACKS system: Sort, Toss, Assign a home, Containerize, Keep going, and Systemize.

Identifying the system that will work is important. “Are you visual? Kinesthetic? Do you like colors? Do you want things out of sight or visible?” Ms Pierce asked. “Everyone is different, and you have to use what works best for them,” she said.

Do not buy containers before sorting through everything, she recommended, or before identifying the best type of container for your style.

Once items are sorted and in the proper container, adhere to the system, she said. “Keep going until the system becomes a habit — like things always go with like things, everything has a home. Try the system for a month and then tweak it to simplify,” said Ms Pierce.

Ms Pierce generally sets aside a three-hour block to spend with a client, which is about what it takes to straighten out an average room with an average mess. It is also what she has found to be the maximum time a person can spend on a project and still focus. Start small, if necessary, with whatever can be managed.

Some jobs take much longer, because there are many emotional issues to deal with as the sorting takes place. It takes patience and understanding on the part of the professional organizer, said Ms Pierce. “And not everything has to go. Ask, is it wall worthy? If so, put it in a place of honor. If it’s that sentimental,” she pointed out, “why are you treating it so badly by stuffing it away?”

For sentimental items that no longer fit into a lifestyle, Ms Pierce said that photographing and journaling about the piece can make it possible to let go.

She leaves clients who have more to clear out with a plan to follow, as well, so that they can realize their goals.

Ms Pierce also promotes closet systems, such as Connecticut Closets or California Closets, and organizational helpers like Rev-a-Shelf systems. When it is time to go container shopping, she suggested a trip to the online containerstore.com.

Organization, she added, is a learned skill, not something most people are born with. “But,” she added, “it can and should be learned.”

There is a huge relief when a client feels like a professional organizer has listened, said Ms Pierce, and that life and living space is manageable.