Bill Lawlor Dies Among Friends—

A Story Of Friendship And Final Wishes

By Shannon Hicks

A brief obituary appeared in last week’s Newtown Bee for William F. Lawlor, a 73-year-old Sandy Hook resident who died on January 27. The obituary mentioned Mr Lawlor’s birth, death, funeral arrangements, and the fact that he was predeceased by his wife Anne.

The obituary also mentions that Mr Lawlor is survived by Agnes Gibbs (an elderly aunt, who lives in Florida), as well as “stepbrothers and stepsisters, and many friends.”

A local family of five is among those many friends, and it is this family who made sure last week that Mr Lawlor’s final wishes were granted.

For the past three years, Mr Lawlor had been living with the Bajraliu family of Sandy Hook. Fadil Bajraliu, a local carpenter, met Mr Lawlor about ten years ago. Mr Lawlor, who had been living with his wife Anne in Newtown for more than 40 years at that point, hired Mr Bajraliu to do some work for him. The two men remained in touch after the job was completed, and became friends.

When Anne V. Lawlor became terminally ill in 2007, she was cared for in large part by her husband, Mr Bajraliu said last week. After the death of Mrs Lawlor on March 11, 2007, Mr Lawlor “felt like there was no future for him and no point in living without her in his life,” Mergim Bajraliu, Fadil’s firstborn son, said this week. “My father would always try to comfort Bill and give him hope for the future, assuring him that everything would turn out to be okay.

“At this point he was living alone in his home and was, understandably, very lonely,” Mergim continued.

Mr Bajraliu was in the process of building a new home for his family and in 2009, he decided to open part of this home to his friend who was still nursing a broken heart. A separate apartment was built for Bill, and he was invited to move in.

“Never will any of us forget the moment he saw the apartment for the first time,” Mergim said. “He was in absolute shock. For the first time in a long time, he was no longer lonely and had people in his life.”

Mr Lawlor — Bill, as he was called by everyone in Fadil’s family, which also includes his wife Alberta, daughter Vanesa, and younger son Roni — moved in with the Bajralius, and began a new, happier chapter of his life.

“He was innocent, so nice,” said Mergim. “My mother loved to say he couldn’t hurt a fly.

“And he was generous. Any time you did anything for him, he felt obligated to return the favor,” the young man said. “He was very lively, too.”

Bill and the Bajralius began learning more about each other. The Bajralius were told that Bill grew up in Danbury, has been part of a large family, and that he and his wife, a registered nurse, had both been employees for a number of years at Fairfield Hills Hospital.

“He had a lot of stories about that,” said Mergim.

Bill was raised in the Catholic faith; the Bajraliu family are Albanian Muslims. While the different faiths meant the parties were curious about each other, it also meant they all learned from each other.

“Any time we would celebrate one of our religious holidays, he unhesitatingly celebrated along with us,” said Mergim. “He was very curious. Likewise, when Christmas time was around, we would give him Christmas presents.

“His reaction was the warmest I’ve ever seen,” he continued, saying that Bill would smile at the fact that he was again surrounded by people who loved him and cared for him.

As far as the Bajralius were concerned, Bill had become member of the family. The children viewed him as a another grandfather, and all six would celebrate birthdays and dine out together. The family cannot recall a time when Bill was unhappy while he was living with them.

“When my birthday came around, he would spend hours trying to pick out the right card with the right words just to make me happy,” said Mergim, 17. “He truly brought a happy mood to the house and was incredibly full of life.”

Final Wishes Promised

At one point after he moved in with the Bajraliu family, Bill asked Fadil for a favor.

“I remember he approached me and said he needed to ask me something,” Mr Bajraliu said on February 2. “He told me he had money set aside from his years of working for the state, and he needed to name a beneficiary for when he died. ‘I have to put a name down, a contact,’ he said. And he asked me if I could be his name.

“I accepted his request, but I also asked him ‘Is there something you need to tell me?’” said Mr Bajraliu.

“There wasn’t,” said his son. “He was just making his plans. He didn’t really want to talk about it, he just wanted to make sure the topic was covered. He loved life.”

“He just wanted to know that if he died he would be taken care of,” said Mr Bajraliu.

Those wishes were two-fold: He wanted a Catholic burial, and he wanted to be buried in Danbury.

A promise was made, and life continued.

Neighborhood children got used to seeing Bill, and he always kept candy and treats on hand for them as a thank you for light yardwork or other favors. He would sit on a chair on the porch and wave to anyone who passed the house, said Mergim. Even animals responded positively to him.

“Birds and woodchucks, he would just make a noise for them and then would approach him without hesitation,” he said.

The last time Fadil and Bill spoke was on Thursday, January 26. Bill had promised to bring trash cans in from the curb after they had been emptied, there was some more small talk, and Fadil went off to work.

One of Bill’s favorite hangouts was My Place Restaurant. Mr Bajraliu recalls hearing Bill’s car pull into the garage Thursday evening, and then the outdoor light came on as the old man walked around the side of the garage to the entrance of his apartment. A receipt found in Bill’s wallet confirms that he had been at the Queen Street restaurant shortly before 9 pm that evening.

Fadil Bajraliu knew something was wrong the following afternoon when he returned to his home after a doctor’s appointment and Bill’s daily newspaper was still sitting outside, untouched.

“I saw the newspaper and I had a feeling,” said Mr Bajraliu, who entered his friend’s apartment and found that he had passed away. The death certificate gives “natural causes” as the cause of death, and the Bajralius think that it was a quiet passing.

“He looked very peaceful,” said Mergim. “He had a pillow behind him, and almost looked like he was just asleep.”

While mourning the loss of their friend, Fadil and his family knew that it was time to live up to a promise they had made.

Fadil worked Honan Funeral Home to make the arrangements for his late friend. A wake for Mr Lawlor was at the funeral home, 58 Main Street in Newtown, on Friday, February 3. A graveside service and burial were also scheduled for February 3, during the early afternoon, at St Peter Cemetery, 71 Lake Avenue Extension in Danbury. The funeral home, said Fadil, was able to arrange for a Catholic priest to lead the service.

Unfortunately, Bill’s family seems to have fallen out of touch with each other.

“I spoke with his aunt the day after Bill died,” said Fadil, “and she really couldn’t tell me anything or do anything for him. She is the only relative we could locate.”

The aunt, Agnes Gibbs, told Fadil that she and her nephew had not seen each other for at least three years.

“They just stopped communicating,” said Fadil. “She didn’t know how to get in touch with anyone else in his family, either.”

Nevertheless, Fadil and his family moved forward with what they know their friend would have wanted.

“I know in my heart, and God knows, what Bill wanted,” said Mr Bajralius. “There is no way I would not keep this promise to him.”