Bits & Pieces

By Kim J. Harmon

 

It’s 9:22 am on Tuesday and I’m just going to sit at this computer and jot down some things – a stream of consciousness, I guess, on things either filtering through my head or things I’ve jotted down in my notebook. I do this as I consume a one-liter bottle of Diet Coke©, so things may seem a little disjointed …

… one of the hoariest clichés in all sports is “There is no I in Team,” but is it a cliché or is it the God’s honest truth? It is sad to see the value of being a team being undersold by a lot of our young athletes today. “The strength of the team is each individual member and the strength of each member is the team,” said coach Phil Jackson, which is probably why he isn’t in Los Angeles anymore with all that mess between Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal … the definition of “complete fiduciary misconduct” is the Mets giving a guaranteed four-year, $56 million contract to Pedro Martinez, an aging pitcher who can barely get into the seventh inning and who refuses to take an MRI on a shoulder which (as reported on ESPN radio) has as much as a 90% tear of the labrum (which is a rim of soft tissue around the scapula which greatly aids in shoulder rotation). Without an MRI, the contract is uninsurable (according to Steve Phillips, former general manager of the Mets). This could be the most colossal, boneheaded mistake a baseball team has ever made … speaking of baseball, isn’t it nice that Carl Pavano’s 57-58 career record (and career 4.21 earned run average) translates into a four-year, $39 million contract? Before his 18-8 year with the Florida Marlins (in a cavernous ballpark), Pavano was 39-50. Wow, mediocrity pays well … people in Minnesota are whining about their so-called “brown December.” Fewer than eight inches of snow has fallen so far and it has made them so demented that some people are snowmobiling on alfalfa (it’s slicker than snow) and Nordic walking (that is, using ski poles to simulate cross-country skiing) … ice skating seems like such a nice, tranquil activity why would anyone add the element of severe acrophobia to it? It must be the scenery because a new skating rink has just opened 188 feet off the ground on an observation deck of the Eiffel Tower in Paris, France. Better watch that triple lutz … oddly enough, it was not an obscene gesture when Paulo Diogo of the Servette soccer team in Switzerland’s top division gave fans the finger last week. In a 4-1 win over Schafthausen, Diogo celebrated a goal by jumping on a fence. But his wedding ring became caught and when he jumped off, the top two joints of his finger were severed. Now, he lost his finger for good (surgeons were unable to reattach it) and he got a yellow card for excessive celebration – and he didn’t even score the goal! All he did was notch the assist … you said po-ta-to, I say po-tah-to. When Nedeljanec FC in Croatia’s third division announced it was in financial trouble, its fans collected six tons of potatoes (the region is famous for its spuds) in an effort to finance the rest of the soccer season. I assume they are going to sell them and not use them to pay the players … gosh, I can’t understand why anyone would vandalize a nativity scene featuring soccer star David Beckham as Joseph and his wife, Posh Spice (aka Victoria) as the Virgin Mary (that’s sarcasm, by the way) … talk about setting an example, the coaches of the Lowell Lock Monsters and Norfolk Admirals in the American Hockey League were assessed gross misconduct penalties (and later suspended for 10 games) for fighting. Apparently a brawl has started in the first period of a recent AHL game, but things got out of control when the two coaches – Tom Rowe of Lowell and Trent Yawney of Norfolk – got into it … at least Tiger Woods closed out the golf season with a good performance, huh? Now we won’t have to endure a winter’s worth of stories speculating whether or not Tiger is done … Todd Bertuzzi received a standing ovation from the crowd in Vancouver, British Columbia when he skated onto the ice for a recent charity hockey game. Bertuzzi, if you don’t remember, is the guy who attacked Steve Moore of Colorado last year and sent Moore to the hospital with three fractured vertebrae and severe facial cuts (not to mention a concussion and subsequent amnesia). Bertuzzi is under indefinite suspension and facing criminal assault charges, but it’s nice that the fans from Vancouver are behind him … everyone contends that the Bowl Championship Series in college football is a colossal joke and Senator Dick Ackerman of California introduced a resolution to dissolve it. The measure would carry absolutely no weight to it, but it’s comforting to see a lawmaker spending his time (and your tax dollars) so wisely … how is this for loyalty? The Boston Red Sox would not have won the World Series had it not been for Dr. Bill Morgan stitching Curt Schilling’s tattered ankle together, yet the Sox have bid farewell to Dr. Morgan in order to affiliate with a ‘team’ of specialists rather than one doctor. But that ‘one’ doctor helped them win a World Series title! ... admittedly, I have virtually no fashion sense, but I simply don’t understand the sense of wearing a tie that is exactly the same color as your shirt ... to the lady in front of me at the grocery store: The sign says 10 items or less, not 20 items or less (six cans of soup is SIX items, not one). And why in the world did you wait until the very last item was scanned to root around in that suitcase you call a handbag to look for your checkbook?

It’s 10:32 am and now it’s time to move on.