Q: We were at a birthday party recently and my child spoke very rudely to another guest. I was shocked to hear my little girl tell another child that she didn’t want to be friends. How can I prevent her from being mean?

A: First, don’t mistake candidness with meanness. A child does not know that being extremely honest can hurt another person’s feelings. Empathy is a complex emotion and has to be learned through experience. Don’t be upset with your child. Instead, take your child aside and explain how the other child may have felt after her comments. Help her see that she might be sad if the same comments were said to her. Try not to make your child feel bad for her behavior, but rather help her choose alternative ways to express her feelings.

 

Q: My husband and I used to be close but, since the baby has arrived, all we do is argue. What can we do? I’d like us to be like we were before.

A: It’s hard to believe that such a beautiful bundle of joy can create such conflict in your home, but it’s true. When the baby first comes home from the hospital, you will need rest and need to take care of yourself so you can heal. At the same time, this adorable, yet demanding, little person also needs attention and care. This will put an additional burden on both of you and can quite naturally lead to increased stress and tension. While you may reminisce about the time before your baby was born, there are now three of you and that takes some getting used to. Try to minimize the arguing. Take the time to consider each other’s perspective – look at things as your partner would. He may suddenly be feeling the weight of his new responsibilities, both financial and emotional. Set some time aside for the two of you to talk. Each of you may be surprised at the feelings the other is experiencing. Try to be supportive of each other.

Q: My three-year-old has started to stutter to the point that several family members have brought it to my attention. Should I be worried?

A: Stuttering is very common at this age and should not be something to concern yourself about. The average child’s brain is working faster than he or she can verbally communicate. In an effort to tell you everything they want to, stammering often occurs. Try to overlook it. Asking the child to repeat himself or to slow down can further frustrate him. When speaking to the child, you should try to talk in a slow, even-toned manner. If the stuttering does not decrease within a few months, bring it to the attention of your health care professional for advise on your child’s individual situation.

 It is not recommended to warm a baby’s bottle in the microwave for several reasons. The primary

 Hot Tip

Don’t throw baby wipe containers in the recycling bin. Recycle them into storage boxes. Peel off the labels and re-label them with whatever you are going to keep inside. They are perfect for little figures and small puzzle and game pieces that always wind up on the bottom of the toy chest. Try putting a picture next to the label – this really helps the younger kids to find the toys they want to play with and to put them away afterwards. Since the containers are stackable, these can be stored on shelves in the bedroom closet.

If you have a question that you would like answered, send it to Child Chat, in care of Health Monitor, The Bee Publishing Company, PO Box 5503, Newtown, CT 06470.

 

Barbara Gaines has a degree in early childhood development and has been a leader of the post partum support group at Danbury Hospital. The mother of two young children and three older stepchildren, Barbara lives with her husband, Richard, in Sandy Hook. Tina Fiorella lives in Bethel with her husband, John, and their two young boys. After putting her degree in psychology to work for several years in the mental health field, Tina is now a stay-at-home mom. Both women and their children have been involved in various playgroups and organized activities in the area.