‘The New Normal’—

Resident Keeps Cancer In Perspective

By Kendra Bobowick

Resident and cancer survivor Amy Dent was at home baking a side dish for a party when she answered a call from her doctor.

“She called the evening after a test and told me, ‘This is serious,’” Ms Dent said. Remembering the day, she continued, “I was so angry. I was going to a Christmas party and making the dish. I had bought the biggest sweet potatoes I could find and I took them and started throwing them all over the kitchen.”

As Ms Dent folded her hands across her knees and settled into her couch recently, she placed the day in perspective.

“I am a three-time cancer survivor,” Ms Dent said. “Yeah, it’s life-changing, but it’s the new normal.”

Thinking back on the sweet potatoes, for example, she said, “You remember the details like what was going on when you went into labor with your first child.”

Leaning back on her couch, she reached for the memories one-by-one. In the mid-1990s her doctors caught her breast cancer early. The year 2001 brought ovarian cancer, which came back in 2003.

“I knew it was bleak,” she said. “I started making calls.” In fact, she sought answers. Her search led her to Ann’s Place, Home of I Can, a cancer support service center in Danbury where she learned that ovarian cancer treatment was advancing rapidly. “Someone there said, ‘Anything we have is dated because the changes, medically, are moving so quickly that by the time anything is printed it’s old news.’”

Pausing in her story, she also recalled another detail.

“They told me my doctor couldn’t be better, so finally I had a sense of hope,” she said. She was facing surgery and grim statistics.

Sixty-five percent of patients with her diagnosis make it five years, she said. Of the 65 percent, 33 percent will remain cancer free.

Looking for help, Ms Dent said, “I went to Ann’s for support.”

Counseling, support groups, therapy, workshops, referrals, and more are offered to survivors, family members, and friends for free at Ann’s Place (see related sidebar).

As Ms Dent coped with her diagnoses, she developed an insight about herself.

“I recognized immediately that I had a different attitude than many.” Noting that some cancer survivors feel defeated, she said, “A lot say, ‘When I wake up the first thing I think is that I have cancer,’ or they can’t get past the anger.” Ms Dent is following her mother’s example. Her mother Rose Guarino, 82, is also a cancer survivor.

“Rose had breast cancer and a month before my wedding not only did she have surgery, but had a party for my reception,” she said. “It’s that kind of attitude that keeps me going.” Inspiring? Yes, Ms Dent said.

Ms Guarino also holds a few clues to the cancer she and her daughter have dealt with. “Her father died when [Rose] was 14,” said Ms Dent. “Genetically, they tell us that could be where it came from, so for her it was no shock.”

Taking a deep breath and keeping her voice light, Ms Dent said, “You deal with the cards you’re dealt.” Tests confirmed her predisposition to the disease following her ovarian cancer. In the last six years she has had two major abdominal surgeries and 17 months of chemotherapy, she said.

From within the turmoil Ms Dent found comfort that came as a surprise.

“You know people that you don’t realize that you have touched in some way. I got such lovely gifts and food and notes from people saying, ‘Call me.’” The message behind friends’ and neighbors efforts? “You have done so much for the town, it’s time we do for you,” she said.

Ms Dent has served as PTA Council secretary, on the Legislative Council, the Board of Education, another term on the Legislative Council and is currently a Fairfield Hills Authority member. She also contributing her time to last weekend’s Festival of Trees & Traditions, which benefits Ann’s Place.

For details visit annsplace.org.