Doggone Etiquette —

Sweet Talk

By Bardi McLennan

A Word to the Dog:

How do you feel about the way people talk? No, don’t compare it to barking, but you must notice a difference when it’s your VIPeople talking, or the kids, or Auntie Mabel (who is visiting), or the deliveryman. Do you like what you hear? Or do you ignore all of it? Or are you often just totally confused by what – and how much – they’re saying? I’ll clue you in. Sometimes even people think it’s just blah-blah-blah-blah!  Now, doesn’t that make you feel better? 

A Word to the Dog’s Owner:

Everybody who owns a dog talks to it. Most dogs today live with people as “companion animals” (aka “pets”) and are included quite naturally in our conversations. A single-person dog owner who is not big on chat will communicate and get along with a dog just as well as the talkative household will with their dog. The dog makes the adjustment.

Behavioral problems connected to our talking can crop up in either situation. Some are obvious, but some are not so readily picked up on by the people involved. We’d all like to believe that “our” dog listens and understands every word we say, but realistically that’s just not so! Dogs are non-verbal animals and most of the time, that’s a good thing for them, and even better for us.

Shouting in anger at a dog will elicit reactions that are either misunderstood by the one doing the yelling, or by the dog that may cringe at the sound, but not at what has brought on the angry outburst.  (Beware the dog that reacts by attacking the source of such hostility!) The facial expression and body language accompanying our anger have a definite effect on dogs. They don’t like being scolded and scowled at any more than we do! By itself, a seriously scowling face directed at the dog, will usually get an “oh-oh, now what have I done?” reaction.

Our body language is very important to dogs and they are far better at reading it than we ourselves are. Of course, that brings up the fact that it also helps them become super con artists!

No dog is “sorry” that it destroyed your new leather gloves, but it has hit on a certain expression and body language of its own to make you think so – ears drooping, head held down, tail down, cringing as it walks to its hiding place – all in reaction to your facial, vocal and body language. It’s pretty smart for a mere dog, but a mere nothing for the con artist he really is.

We need to be aware of our casual talk when it includes specific words that the dog has been trained to act on. Granted, as commands, those same words are given to the dog in a specific tone of voice, or even with a hand signal. But just try casually saying, “I think I need to walk it off” in earshot of a dog who knows that “walk” means a tour around the neighborhood! He’ll beat you to the door!

Then there’s “sweet talk” which is often perpetuated by owners of very small dogs. It’s easier to pick up, cuddle and sweet talk a Toy Poodle or a Yorkshire Terrier than to try it with a Golden Retriever!  Unfortunately, with a small dog it’s a sure way to reinforce undesirable behavior if it is done when the dog is actually misbehaving – barking for attention, jumping up on people, growling at another dog, and so forth.

However, there are always times when petting, stroking and whispering sweet nothings to our very good dog, regardless of its size, fills our own need to share the warmth of a loyal, non-critical companion. It’s part of the bond that makes dog ownership special.

Until next time – BE GOOD!

- Bardi

Bardi McLennan bred, trained and showed Welsh Terriers for 30 years during which time she wrote a monthly column on canine behavior in Dog fancy Magazine. In addition to contributing to numerous dog publications, she has written 15 books on dogs, the latest being Rescue Me! which received the ASPCA Humane Issues Award in 2008.