As much as I appreciate the grandeur of the new railroad bridge over Church Hill Road, I’ve got to say that the looming gray blankness of it all is a little overwhelming. It’s like a great tabla rasa, a blank slate, begging for someone to fill it with self-expression. It could be so much more … it could be Newtown’s Mount Rushmore!

I would like to propose that something be painted on the bridge before graffiti artists take it upon themselves to reprise the SMOGA message that graced the old bridge for so many years. It could be words, like “Read The Bee Every Week,” or “Newtown: Gateway to Bethel,” or “If You Were A Troll, You’d Be Home Now.” But it could also be a painted scene. (I wonder if David Merrill is afraid of heights?) Or how about a little trompe l’oeil –– paint the scene behind the bridge on the bridge so it would just disappear? I think the Housatonic Railroad ought to get together with state and town officials to come up with a plan before we end up with SMOGA again.

The construction of the railroad bridge fascinated Bob Stokes. Bob, a graduate of the Dartmouth School of Engineering, has never quite gotten over the joy of watching a set of plans go from the drawing board to cold steel and concrete. Even after a long career in the navy that took him away from civil engineering, he has not been able to resist hanging about the contractor’s trailer and watching the new Church Hill Road bridge go up less than a mile from his Sandy Hook home. “I’ve got a full set of plans at half-size, to follow its progress,” Bob said.

For the record, Bob questions the accuracy of recent newspaper stories about the new span’s height. (One Bee story indicated the height was 16 feet.) Bob has gone so far as to inquire exactly how high the new structure really is over its previous version at 12 feet, 7 inches. “They say it is 14 feet, 10 inches,” Bob reported, “and that sounds reasonable. Any higher than that and they’d have had to start raising the [railroad bed] grade in Hawleyville.” As it was, there was a slight “hump” in the tracks and roadbed ballast had to be laid down starting at Schoolhouse Hill Road. Bob was also fascinated by the largest crane that was built and dismantled onsite, with the two smaller cranes doing the work. Sounds rather cannibalistic to us, but we are not engineers.

In a discussion about censorship and libraries, Merlin Fisk recalled one of his experiences when he moved to Newtown many years ago. Merlin said he asked a librarian if the Booth Library had the latest Harold Robbins book. “She looked down her nose at me and said ‘we do not have any Harold Robbins books.’” Robbins wrote 18 steamy bestsellers including the pulp classic, The Carpetbaggers, selling 500 million copies of his novels in 18 countries before his death at 81 in 1997. Library Director Janet Woycik says the library now has all of Robbins’ books.

Merlin became member of the Booth Library Board of Trustees but had to resign recently when he moved to Brookfield with his wife, poet Helen Ruth Freeman. A former Probate Court judge in Newtown and grand marshal of the 1990 Labor Day parade, he was honored for his community service by the library board at its meeting this week.

Jim Bayles is attempting another of his fundraising swims this Sunday. Jim plans to swim across Long Island Sound from Westport to Port Jefferson, N.Y. It will be his tenth swim –– including successfully crossing the English Channel –– and the third in honor of his daughter Kate, who has epilepsy. Donations to the Epilepsy Foundation of Connecticut can be sent to Jim at his home at 29 Butterfield Road or to the foundation at 386 Main Street, Middletown, CT 06457.

Ellen Parrella says it is always being proved to her that it’s nicer in Newtown. When there was a sudden deluge of calls to FISH, the organization that helps get people to their doctors’ appointments, there weren’t enough volunteer drivers. Ellen mentioned the problem at a Rotary Club meeting that week and immediately had two new volunteers come to the rescue.

Animal Control Officer George Mattegat informs us that his son, William, has completed US Army boot camp for the second time. William had been in the army in the past, but then left the service. Because he was away from the military for about four years, William, 28, was required to again go through basic training in South Carolina. William is headed to an army base in Missouri where he will train for work in the US Army Corps of Engineers.

To keep the public abreast of information concerning the Newtown Hook and Ladder Volunteer Fire Company, the organization has created a website on the Internet explaining its role in the community. The site, which is illustrated with colorful graphics, includes photos and text on the unit’s history, its fire apparatus, and some safety tips. The Internet address is: www.newtownhookandladder.com.

Zoning Enforcement Officer Gary Frenette and Conservation Official C. Stephen Driver have taken their continuing game of “foto-funnies” to a new level. Each man uses photo-editing computer software to create humorous photo illustrations of the other man, which are then printed as small posters. The latest poster places the head of Steve on the body of actor Richard Boone in Boone’s famous role as the gun-toting Palladin in the television Western classic Have Gun, Will Travel. The poster reads “Have Truck, Will Travel,” in reference to Steve’s use of a truck in inspecting local development sites.

Steve Driver, by the way, is getting into politics. He lives in Heritage Village in Southbury and is seeking that town’s Republican Party endorsement to run for the Board of Selectmen. Steve said he would be happy to carry the GOP’s colors in the general election in November. The Southbury GOP caucus is next week. The current first selectman of Southbury is Republican Mark Cooper, who formerly served as Newtown’s health director. Until late 2001, Mark and Steve worked together in the town offices in Canaan House at Fairfield Hills.

It promises to be an interesting political season right here in Newtown, with Herb Rosenthal announcing his candidacy this week. And two Republicans, Owen Carney and Bill Sheluck, are vying for the Republican nomination at the GOP caucus next week. And don’t rule out a third-party candidate. If there can be a Bull Moose Party, why not a Black Cat Party?

I think I have to go weigh my options, but I’ll be back, so be sure to…

Read me again.