Friendships Among NHS Students Brings Intellectually Disabled Students Into Mainstream

By Martha Coville

The 40 Newtown High School students who belong to the “Best Buddies” club want the school community to include students historically isolated and excluded. They are tackling a large-scale social problem in the most individualized way possible: by encouraging friendships between pairs of students.

Best Buddies, an international organization founded by Anthony Shriver, joins a peer buddy, or mainstreamed student, with a best buddy, or special needs student, and enables the pair to develop a close friendship over the course of the school year. Intellectually disabled students often remain cut off from the general school population, and their peer buddies provide them with a rare opportunity to socialize outside the special education classroom.

Sophomore Brandy Eggleston, president of the NHS Best Buddies chapter, said the program is “really about friendship, about fun, about giving students with special needs an opportunity to be with regular students.” But Jill Gonski, the special education teacher who began the club at Newtown High, said that it also requires a “significant commitment” from peer buddies, who promise to participate in after school and weekend events with their buddies, and keep in regular contact with them. Peer buddies might send e-mails to their buddies, join them for lunch in the cafeteria, meet up with them at the movies, or hang out with them at home.

Ms Gonski said the club typically meets twice a month, once for a planning session and once for an event. She said that in October they went apple picking at Blue Jay Orchards and celebrated Halloween with a small party. Some activities are athletically oriented: on Thursday, November 29, the group met in the high school gym and played basketball, badminton, and foursquare; and Ms Gonski said the bowling trip remains a perennial favorite. “And,” she said, “We love going to the movies.”

Ms Gonski said that at NHS, Best Buddies fosters friendships that “continue year after year.” Miles Alderich and Ben Federman, who have been buddies for the past two years, were playing foursquare with other students on November 29. Peer Buddy Ben held his own, but Miles looked to emerge as the winner. Ben said that in fact, the two have been friends since middle school. “I knew [Miles] in middle school,” he said, “and we used to sit at the same table [at lunch] and we talked about movies and stuff.”

Miles said he mostly enjoyed “comedy movies like Little Miss Sunshine and Wedding Crashers.” He said he joined Best Buddies because “Ms Gonski wanted me to,” but Ben said their friendship extends beyond the club’s scheduled meetings. “We get together like, at a meeting,” he said, “But me and Miles, we hang out at school a lot [too].”

Peer buddy Joe Eckler, a junior, told Ms Gonski, “Actually, you talked to me about joining a couple of times.” His best buddy, Nick Summo, a recent NHS graduate, joined “just because I thought it was fun.” Like Ben and Miles, Joe and Nick share similar interests. Nick said that his wheelchair makes visiting Joe’s house difficult, but that Joe often comes over to visit him. “We always play video games,” he said, “ ’cause me and Joe, we’re just video game guys.” The two were hanging out on the sidelines on the November 29 meeting, but Nick said his wheelchair does not prevent him from enjoying sports. “It’s not too hard for me to play basketball,” he said, “and actually it’s even easier for me play baseball.”

Chapter President Brady laughed remembering why she joined Best Buddies. She said her best buddy Sam insisted that she join the group. “I was friends with my buddy, Sam, since the eighth grade,” Brady said. “She pretty much didn’t give me a choice. She just said, ‘Brady, you’re gonna join it.’ [She told Ms Gonski], ‘Oh Brady would like to do it.’ She called me everyday,” Brady said, until she agreed to join. Sam also prompted Brady to volunteer for president, after the previous president graduated.

Best Buddies fosters friendships among students in middle schools, high schools, and colleges and also among adults. There are Best Buddy programs in all 50 states and on every continent except Antarctica. Its website, www.bestbuddies.org, estimates that the program will help over 350,000 intellectually disabled individuals this year.

Newtown High School students wishing to join Best Buddies can contact Ms Gonski. Community members interested in the organization should refer to the website, www.bestbuddies.com.