Qualified Candidates Everywhere

To the Editor:

When President Bush remarked “you’re doing a heck of job, Brownie,” even I was surprised that the President could say something so foolish. Not one to rest on his laurels, the President yet again surpassed his high standard of underachievement and foolishness at today’s press conference. When asked if of all the people in the United States he had to choose from is Harriet Miers the most qualified to serve on the Supreme Court, he answered unequivocally, “Yes. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have put her on.” Really? Harriet Miers is the most qualified? Well let me make some suggestions for future appointments that meet the President’s criteria.

For future Supreme Court appointments, may I suggest my lawyer Saul Rabinowitz. Over the past three decades, Saul Rabinowitz has built a stellar record of accomplishment in the law. I’ve known him for more than ten years. I know his character. He’s a man of principle and deep conviction. He’s been a model of service to his country and to his people. He is an active member of the Rotary Club. He was the first man of Jewish persuasion to achieve the level of Eagle Scout in Buffalo, N.Y., and his wife makes a gefilte fish that melts in your mouth.

Should the President need a new Surgeon General, may I suggest my wife Barbara. Dr Barbara S. Blanco is an outstanding individual to serve as Surgeon General of the United States. Over the past 15 years, Dr Barbara S. Blanco has built a stellar record of accomplishment in medicine. She’s been a model of service to her country and to our citizens in need of the services of a board certified radiologist. I’ve known her for more than 20 years. I know her character. She’s a woman of principle and deep conviction. Thirdly, I know her well enough to be able to say that she’s not going to change. Twenty years from now, she will still get steamed if I don’t get a haircut every two weeks or if I play Philip Glass music when she’s home.

When John Bolton’s recess appointment expires in 2007, may I suggest for Ambassador to the United Nations, Boston Red Sox slugger David “Poppy” Ortiz. As a Yankee fan, I make this suggestion in the spirit of bipartisan cooperation. David “Poppy” Ortiz has built a stellar record of accomplishment in Major League Baseball. Admittedly, I’ve not known him for more than ten years, but after watching him engineer the demise of the Yankees in the 2004 American League Playoffs, I feel I know his character. He’s a man of principle and deep conviction He’s been a model of service to his country and to the citizens of Boston. I realize that he has no experience whatsoever in the diplomatic core, but I think that’s a good thing. Besides, he speaks at least two languages, can read Mariano Rivera’s cutter, and is the most dangerous hitter in baseball in the late innings.

with all due respect,

Martin Blanco,

potential candidate for

Postmaster General United States of America

8 Pheasant Ridge Road, Newtown                           October 5, 2005