Where do we go from here? It is a question that arises when middle age takes a turn toward “maturity.”

It could be a death, a change of residence, a joining of two homes, or the flight of the last child from the nest that initiates the urge to reconsider what is truly important. Suddenly, the wealth of things accumulated seems oppressive. Clothing, furniture, tools, and knickknacks no longer bring the pleasure they once did. And like an itch that needs to be scratched, this desire to be rid of possessions takes hold.

Hundreds, perhaps thousands, of books, blogs, and websites offer suggestions on how best to begin this process. Some recommend starting on a small scale: a drawer; one item a day; or items not used in the last 12 months. Others prefer a large-scale effort that might involve a time commitment, and perhaps, a dumpster.

Marie Kondo, Japanese author of the best-selling book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up that is currently impressing readers nationwide, is of the “Do it all at once” persuasion. “Start by discarding. Then organize your space, thoroughly, completely, in one go,” she writes in the introduction to her book. It is a method she has found to have longlasting and dramatic effect for her clients, and rather than being a harsh purge, it is one that is undertaken with gratitude for each item that has been a part of one’s life. The magic, according to this author, is that in bringing order to the environment, order to one’s life is restored.

What is common among declutter specialists is the goal of ending up with a space that brings contentment, and the return of joy in one’s surroundings.

 Courage is required. “Stuff” and rooms are chockfull of memories, and change can seem the casting off of a special moment in time. This is where the camera comes in handy — perhaps it is an item to hang onto. Photograph spaces, places, and things that are dear, when letting go. One small photograph album takes up hardly any space, and allows a peek at the past, whenever needed.

Rethinking space takes courage, as well. The bedroom shrine to a child who has been out of the house for more than a decade is space that can be reutilized to fit the current lifestyle. Can it be redecorated to be a welcoming guest room for friends and relatives, or used as an exercise or meditation room? An office designed for a fulltime, at-home employee who is no longer thus employed might be better used as a reading room or art studio.

When a household shrinks, cooking takes a different turn, as well. Attention may be centered elsewhere than making sure a perfectly balanced and exciting meal is on the table. Kitchen tools and pots and pans that were once essential may not be what are needed today. Party-sized pots and tools no longer used regularly can be stored out of the way, making room for the kitchenware that is actually useful now. If those kitchen items set aside are not missed in the next year, the local thrift store should be the next stop.

Furniture is more difficult to part with. Often an investment, and sometimes an inheritance, large pieces need careful consideration. Does the piece still work where it has been placed? Does it offer comfort that cannot be replaced? How much enjoyment does it give, whether through its physical beauty or the history embedded in its threads?

Furniture that has outlasted its usefulness can bring happiness to others. Family members may be thrilled to give an antique sideboard a new home. That third couch, donated to Goodwill, might be the first and only couch, and a joyful discovery, to some young couple.

Releasing furnishings can invite new possibilities. Fewer, carefully selected pieces that satisfy newly formed aesthetics can be more pleasing than ones that have outlived usefulness.

Gardens and landscaping that feel out of control will sap energy. “It took a great deal of time and energy to make the garden as hard to manage as it ultimately became…” confesses Newtown author Sydney Eddison in her book Gardening for a Lifetime: How To Garden Wiser as You Grow Older. Giving up on a lifetime of creating a place of beauty is not necessary, though, says Ms Eddison. Like so many other things that need a second look as years go by, the yard and garden can be managed partly through practical applications that make garden work easier, and partly through relaxing previous standards of perfection.

Look to perennials to occupy a more permanent space in the garden, and invite the nearby woods to spark imaginative use of native plants. Encourage the return of meadow growth to areas once devoted to manicured lawns, and celebrate a garden of potted plants as in-ground gardens are returned to nature.

Reassessing the realty of where one lives is even more of a leap than bidding farewell to that favorite lounge chair. A large home for a downsized family consumes time and finances. Can time be better put to use if mowing, raking, shoveling, planting and replanting, painting, patching, and puttering are off the table? Or does the pride and love of the homestead continue to exceed the upkeep?

Realty Reality

A new home in a new neighborhood or town is an option, as aging homeowners rethink the how and where to celebrate later decades.

Joan Salbu and Christine Fairchild, both real estate agents with Coldwell Banker in town, shared thoughts on clients dealing with the conundrum of moving on, up, or out. Local agents have seen a good deal of people in this situation, said both women. In the last 12 months, Ms Fairchild said, 44 “over 55” condominiums in Newtown have sold, and another 16 are pending.

Family and finances are the two biggest reasons that older homeowners are reconsidering where they live, said Ms Salbu. “When someone reaches that point with their house, they start to research their decision. Then they’ll call us,” she said. If the homeowner is considering a move to a new locale, local realtors can assist by putting the person in touch with a reputable out-of-town realtor. “Often,” Ms Salbu said, “that decision is about where their grown children are.”

“A lot of people don’t know where to go. I suggest they visit lots of places. It’s a big decision, when you think about moving. One thing I’ve learned is that people who just take off, go somewhere where they know no one and have no family, get lonely. They want to come back. The people who are happiest are near their family or friends,” Ms Fairchild said.

“I recommend that people go to an area [they are considering] and rent for a few months. Explore the area, before making the decision,” Ms Salbu said. If out of town seems a viable option, realtors are able to help with the next big step: selling.

Sellers need to look at their homes as buyers will see the space, and should be as knowledgeable about the market as buyers. Utilize online information, or talk to a realtor to understand what is selling in Newtown, and why it is selling.

“Right now, the trend in real estate is that buyers like to see a profile of a home that doesn’t look lived in. It has to be streamlined and neat. I tell clients, ‘You’re going to move and pack anyway,’” Ms Salbu said, so depersonalizing a home for the sake of selling is an important step in the current market.

“Buyers like a staged home,” Ms Fairchild agreed. “If you are planning to sell next year, start now [with minimizing content]. It’s really about getting your home to look like a model home,” she said.

The expense, fewer amenities than other cities, and the desire to be close to family are reasons that those nearing or in retirement consider leaving Newtown, said the realtors. But not all people who are aging want to go elsewhere. The beauty of the town, the proximity to New York, and again, family, keeps people here, Ms Fairchild said.

There are ample small to midsized homes on the market in Newtown, she said, for those who are finding themselves overwhelmed by a large home. If it is the upkeep of the home and yard that is daunting, there are options, she said.

“Pay someone to do the yard work. Get family to help,” Ms Fairchild advised. She has also had success in directing clients to new homes in Southbury’s Heritage Village, or Walnut Tree Village, or Toll Brother’s Regency in Newtown. “It’s a way for them to get away from yard work,” she said.

The best thing when making a life decision concerning realty, said Ms Salbu, is to have as much information as possible; and be conscious of how future fixed incomes may affect any decision.

Finessing Finances

In a nutshell, consider some of the same questions asked in more youthful days, said Jean Leonard of Jean Leonard Wealth Management — what do you want to be when you grow up, or in this case, what do you want to be when you retire?

“What do we envision?” she asked. “You spend 20 years of your life picking out a career, and probably another 30 years in that career. Retirement could be another 30 years. That’s a long time to not be doing what you love,” she pointed out.

Ms Leonard suggests that those anticipating retirement imagine what they would have done if they had not been working. If a move is part of future plans, ask how you plan to meet new people. “Are you an extrovert or an introvert? What kind of life do you see yourself living? These questions drive the financial conversation,” said Ms Leonard.

It is possible to claim Social Security as early as age 62, but Ms Leonard suggested careful consideration of still more questions. “What is the longevity in your family? Do you need earlier income from Social Security? An advisor can look at the breakeven point with you and help determine the most efficient time to start Social Security,” she said.

Health care is also a big factor as a person ages, and needs vary by the individual’s personal health. “Most people get a medigap policy to reduce out-of-pocket expenses,” Ms Leonard said.

So far as long-term care insurance goes, again, it is necessary to consider personal health. Many states have partnerships that allow citizens to buy a plan to protect at least some assets, should long-term care be needed. “It’s case by case. More home care is now available, but it is still costly. Educate yourself to understand what your risks are and how it could impact your retirement,” she advised.

How much money is needed for retirement hinges on future goals. “I’ve seen grandparents whose goals are to give a good education to their grandchildren. Others want to leave a legacy to their kids, and others want to spend it all down. Are you looking to downsize your cost of living, or are you creating a new retirement lifestyle?” she asked.

The highest spending years tend to be the first ten years of retirement, Ms Leonard has observed in her 20 years of practice. “That’s when people tend to do all the things they were waiting to do, and they do a lot of traveling then,” she said. People with those kinds of goals may need to plan for a higher cost of living expense.

“I see that most people in retirement tend to live on about the same amount [as pre-retirement],” Ms Leonard said.

Moving out of Fairfield County might mean that less is needed for living expenses; staying might mean more money is needed in retirement. When considering a move, Ms Leonard said it is wise to price out homes in the area being considered. “If you can afford to stay in this area, you can afford to go nearly anywhere in this country,” she said.

“Are you looking to downsize your cost of living or are you looking to create a new retirement lifestyle?” Ms Leonard asked.

Generally, it is not worthwhile to downsize in the same area. “You lose a lot of square footage for not a lot of gain,” she said.

If it is getting out of a too big home or escaping yard work that holds appeal, communities within communities, or “amenity lifestyle” communities, are popular, Ms Leonard said. Those communities have amenities such as pools and clubhouses and other opportunities, and Ms Leonard has observed that developers tend to be leaning in that direction.

The biggest roadblock with retirement is not accounting for taxes and inflation. “Taxes typically go up,” she pointed out, and it is a mistake to not have the earning capacity to keep up with inflation.

Give careful thought to future goals, or find an expert to help solidify those goals. “Look for someone who looks at the whole approach of what you want for the rest of your life,” Ms Leonard advised, “and not just how to invest money.”

Reduce, rethink, and plan, because life is still good.