I try not to whine too much about the perils of my job, knowing that all-in-all it’s a lot of fun reporting on the people and events of Newtown. Everyone has hard days, so who wants to hear reporters gripe about how hard it is to keep a decent point on a pencil or to keep the camera strap out of our pictures.

But just so you know, there are some times when you start to think about taking up some other line of work. Consider the plight this week of Kim Harmon, our generally happy-go-lucky sports editor. Kim was on one of his typical cushy assignments, taking in the sunshine and spirited competition at Monday’s Connecticut Babe Ruth girls softball championships at Bassett Park in Hamden where Newtown’s U-10, U-12, and U-14 teams were all playing for championships. While walking from one field to another, Kim was accosted by an overly aggressive squirrel, which made several darts at the editor. I don’t know whether someone had hired the bully squirrel to check press credentials, or what, but for a while there, Kim looked like he was going to get roughed up a bit. Kim did manage to finally get away when the squirrel became distracted by a french fry in the grass.

Good reporter that he is, later Kim turned the tables and checked the credentials of the squirrel and found out that he was a tamiasciurus Hudonicus, more commonly known as a red squirrel.

On the roof of The Black Swan Hearth and Gift Shop there arose such a clatter on a recent sunny day that everyone looked up to see what was the matter. It wasn’t a red squirrel. Tom Swan was reroofing the shop, and somehow his faithful dog Maverick followed him up on the roof to see what was going on. I’m not sure of the lineage of the mad roofer Maverick, but I think he must be part goat.

Bob Hall, Julia Wasserman, and Marie Sturdevant traveled to Goodwin Hotel in Hartford Monday to have lunch with Vice President Dick Cheney. The VP stopped in for a 20-minute speech to state Republicans and then headed back on the road. The Bush administration is especially busy these days with homeland security, an unstable economy, and a corporate crime spree.

George and Carol Mattegat have moved into their new condo at Walnut Tree Village and are almost all settled in. George likes to sit outside and enjoy the view overlooking the pond. He’s already met a number of neighbors who, seeing him out there, have been inclined to join him.

Diane Thompson has joined the ever-more-inclusive Lyme Disease Club. She’s recovering from a bout that started when she was bitten by a tick on her foot –– not that she realized it was a tick bite. She thought it was a mosquito bite until her foot started to swell, and even at that point she figured it might have been a spider. Finally, when she really started to feel bad, she went to the doctor and learned that it was Lyme. Now on antibiotics, Diane went back to her weight-training class this week and learned that she most of her fellow students already have had Lyme –– some of them two or three times.

Jim Crick won a new Cannondale bicycle at a recent Red Cross fundraiser. He plans to sell the bike.

I spotted the Rev Steve Gordon of the Newtown Congregational Church driving a nice looking Mitsubishi Eclipse last week. Steve says the shiny new car has earned him the nickname “Sporty Gordy.”

Town Land Use Department Secretary Melissa Morin is especially tan this week after returning from her round-trip cruise from New York City to the Bahamas.

If you notice that a couple of candidates for The Birthday Cake this week look like English springer spaniels, don’t be shocked. It just means that Bee reporter Dottie Evans has somehow managed to insert two smiling puppy pictures into the birthday photo lineup in recognition of the joint birthdays of two Newtown springers who are also littermates.

 “Molly,” owned by John and Dottie Evans, and her sister “Libby,” owned by Cyrenius H. Booth reference librarian Andrea Zimmermann, each turned 1 on July 17. The blessed whelping event occurred exactly a year ago when the Evans’ alpha-female dog, “Mavis,” gave birth to seven pups. Their proud dad was a handsome stud from Pennsylvania named “Cullen,” also known as Stormwynd Topgun of Vondale. If either pup wins the cake, we’ll substitute chew toys for candles.

The foursome of Kevin Cragin, George Matern, Greg O’Connor, and Tom Ramsdell won Monday’s Sandy Hook Volunteer Fire Company’s 15th annual golf scramble at Whitney Farms in Monroe. The four players combined to shoot an impressive 8-under 64, beating two other teams in a tiebreaker.

Cragin even out drove Matern on the all-important 16th hole, which is the hole used to break ties. But it’s not all good news for Cragin. Kevin suffered a defeat at the hands of Pete Daccolti last week during a nine-hole warm-up match in Harwinton, Conn. Cragin claims Daccolti’s win was never verified.

Daccolti cooled off some on Monday, however. He, Tim Whelan, Joe Hennigan, and Carl Fazio combined for a double bogey on the par 3, 15th hole. A double bogey is hard to do in a scramble format as each team hits only the “best ball.”

Well, that’s my best shot for the week, but I’ll be back next week, so be sure to…

Read me again.