Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated agent of human change. Kindness that catches us by surprise brings out the best in our natures.

 —Bob Kerrey

Like many others, Ashley Petersen did not know any of the children or women who were killed at Sandy Hook Elementary School on 12/14, but she was horrified and changed by what happened that day.

A former student of SHES, Mrs Petersen (née Bochino) did know that building and many of those inside it. She has a younger sister, Cassidy, who also attended the Dickinson Drive elementary school, so Mrs Petersen was part of that school community again until about five years ago.

 “I didn’t know the families or the children, but I knew a lot of people who knew people,” she said this week. “It hit close to home,” she said. The shooting happened just a few miles from the Riverside Road house where Mrs Petersen grew up, in fact.

The Newtown High School graduate (2006) was moved last year to create 26 Days of Kindness. She encouraged people to do something nice for 26 days straight. Each day honored one of the children and women killed that chilly Friday morning.

She used Facebook to launch and promote her event, which just finished its second run. This year’s event began on November 19, and honored Lauren Rousseau.

Mrs Petersen tied some days and honorees together when possible, such as November 20 for Noah Pozner, who would have celebrated his eighth birthday that day; and December 11 for Josephine Gay, who would have turned nine that day.

“The Sotos wanted Vicky’s day on the fourth, one month after her birthday,” Mrs Petersen said of the decision to have December 4 honor one of the teachers, who loved flamingos and the color pink. The final day, December 14, honored Principal Dawn Hochsprung.

“I decided to close with Dawn out of respect, which Erica [Lafferty, one of Mrs Hochsprung’s daughters] liked,” said Mrs Petersen said. “Those four had the same day both years, and will always have those days.”

Each morning, she posted a new note on Facebook about the person being honored that day. She introduced the person, offered a little bit of information about them, and often included a photo of the person of the day.

James Mattioli, participants learned, had once asked his mother how old he had to be before he could order the “Five Dollar Foot-Long” grinder at Subway sandwich shops. After Mrs Peterson included that detail in her December 12 post, the day James was honored, a few others decided to purchase gift cards at the food shop, or paid for sandwiches ordered by strangers. In an ironic twist, one of the final posts that day was from a woman who said she offered her seat on the subway to an elderly woman.

Not every act of kindness followed such a personalized theme. Many opted to donate food to local food banks in honor of one of the victims, others did simple things for people like clearing a neighbor’s car of snow or holding doors for someone. People left coins in washing machines or dryers at laundromats, donated to Toys For Tots and similar collections, cooked dinner for neighbors, and took flowers to senior citizen centers. Many made time to just listen to others.

Many people also took the opportunity to reach out to someone they might not otherwise have reached out to. On November 28 a woman named Adrienne Stepkoski said she sent a message to an extended family member she had not been in touch with for a while, “to say hi, we miss you & love you and hope to see you soon.”

One woman, on December 12, said she wrote a letter to someone she knows who has moved to Los Angeles “chasing her dreams. I wrote to her encouragingly,” she posted.

Those who shared their acts of kindness did so from all over the country. While many identified themselves as being Newtown or Sandy Hook residents, or living in the area, on December 12 Mrs Petersen asked the event’s followers to identify where they live. The answers included everything from parts of Virginia, North Carolina, Alabama and Florida to Texas, Missouri, Oregon and California. One Danbury resident said they had friends in Alaska who were participating as well.

Once people heard about the Facebook event, they could sign up to participate and invite others to do the same. More than 3,400 people signed up to participate, but it is difficult to tell how many responded. Looking through the event page, however, dozens of people posted something every day.

“It’s not about bragging,” she said. “It’s about being nice to each other, to everyone, and it’s nice to read.

“I kind of felt like more people from outside Connecticut did this than those who live here,” she added. “Maybe our community is too sensitive.

“It’s also hard to say, though,” she continued, “because not everyone posted every day. I think a lot of people in this area did nice things but didn’t share them online.”

Michael Blum, who identified himself as living 400 miles away from Newtown, posted a note on December 14 that echoed Mrs Petersen’s thoughts.

“I’ll be on board for the future, even if I don’t post again,” Mr Blum wrote. “I’m sure there are others that have participated in their way but have also been more comfortable in the shadows.”

Mr Blum took inspiration, he also wrote, “from the many posts and admire the creativity and generosity they evidence. … The greatest impact I’ve had is simply acknowledging kindness in others when I’ve been the recipient” of small acts of kindness from others. In commemoration of those who were killed on 12/14, Mr Blum wrote, he planted a Hawthorn tree on the border of a field on his property.

“It has a view of the Blue Ridge Mountains,” he wrote. The trees, he explained, get their name from three-inch thorns that sprout from the branches and create protection for nesting songbirds. “In the winter the red berries are an important and rare food source for birds and in the spring,” he wrote, “the flowers attract butterflies and honey bees.” The trees, which Mr Blum said are beautiful in all four seasons, can live for up to 400 years.

Even with all of the behind-the-scenes work done for 26 Days of Kindness, Mrs Petersen led the movement by example, doing something every day in honor of those killed at Sandy Hook Elementary School. She and her husband live in Southbury, but every morning Mrs Petersen drove into Sandy Hook to put out handmade ornaments for people to find.

On November 21, while shopping at a local pet supply store — on the day that had been set aside to honor the slain first grade teacher Rachel D’Avino — Mrs Petersen saw Star Wars dog cookies.

“Rachel D’Avino loved dogs and Star Wars,” she said with a laugh. “It was perfect. I bought an extra bag of the cookies, attached one of the ornaments I made, and left it with the cashier to give to a customer.”

A week later Mrs Petersen left a bag of tennis balls at Newtown Park & Bark in honor of Olivia Engel. To close the 26-day event, she put a basket of chocolates and more of her handmade ornaments on the counter of PJ’s Laundromat in Sandy Hook last Sunday morning.

Newtown resident Melanie Mattegat added a collection of green and white What Would Dawn Do? bracelets to the basket, and Taylor Demirjian, Mrs Petersen learned, put a number of Sandy Hook Strong bracelets on the walking bridge that spans the Pootatuck River in Sandy Hook Center.

Back home last Sunday morning, on the second anniversary of 12/14, she listened to a broadcast as Nelba Marquez-Greene spoke in Bloomfield during The First Cathedral’s service that morning. Ms Marquez-Greene and her husband Jimmy Greene lost their daughter Ana Grace on 12/14.

“I’m not a religious person, so I didn’t feel a pull to go to church,” said Mrs Petersen. She has, however, befriended the Greenes in the two years since the death of their daughter, and organized an ice skating party that raised more than $1,700 on December 7 for The Ana Grace Project. The project was formed with a mission of “promoting love, community and connection for every child and family.”

There will be a 3rd Annual 26 Days of Kindness. Mrs Petersen is already thinking about that.

Her biggest hope, she said this week, is that more people will report acts of kindness that were done for them, not just the ones they did. A few did so this year — including Mrs Petersen, who was completely surprised a few times between November 19 and December 14 — and Mrs Petersen is hoping that percentage will increase in 2015.

She will also continue, she said, to look at things in her own life differently.

“I definitely try to have a positive outlook on life,” she said Monday evening. “If I encounter someone who is rude I try to think ‘This person is having a bad day’ and work around that. I try not to take it personally.

“I don’t sweat the small stuff, and I try to be happier,” she said.