Doggone Etiquette—

Doggone Politics

By Bardi McLennan

A Word to the Dog:           

Politics is a serious and powerful science, as all you dogs know very well. You don’t have to be told how it works — most of you are born with the crafty knowledge. At least that’s how people tend to think of it. They don’t want to take any credit for teaching you something that’s almost too complicated for them to understand. But you dogs have it down pat. Dog politics is just your special way of getting things done, and what’s more, getting them done your way.

A Word to the Dog’s Owner:            

If you stop to think about it, our dogs really are excellent politicians. Using their own methods of communication, much like those used by our politicians on TV, dogs can often persuade us to change whatever it is we are (or are not) doing. Rufus may not be able to tell you verbally which foods or toys he likes and which ones he doesn’t, but his clever canine-political persuasion will let you know precisely where he stands on the subject.    

For example, after several years of walking nicely on a specific collar and lead, Rufus makes a strenuous objection to either item, or to the walk itself. You may get a long speech — barks, growls, whines and scowls — on the subject; a political tirade. Similar protests may occur when Rufus is to be left home alone, or with a sitter, or put in the car. He may kick up a howling debate that gets your attention. On the other hand, he may pull his “poor me” act. All such efforts are made to con you into seeing it his way.      

A dog may be diplomatic or just plain crafty, but either way is the basis of “canine party” politics. A clever dog may be so completely subtle in manipulating you that you never even realize you’re being taken. Some are true lobbyists, never missing an opportunity to push their point. But see how easily dogs make politicking work? No need for TV commercials, no appeals for financial contributions. Rufus will get your Yes vote of approval by doing it his way!  

So should Rufus be considered a spoiled dog? No way! In fact, he’s smart — he has simply out-politicianed his owners. We even have elder statesmen among our dogs, ones whose know-it-all attitudes clearly say, “Been there, done that.” Barking at the neighbor’s cat or at the neighbors themselves is yet another form of politicking. It’s often an ongoing campaign — the “Listen to me, I’m better than you are” kind. (That, of course, is dirty doggie politics and definitely should not be condoned or allowed to continue.)

No doubt you are beginning to understand that every dog owner must maintain his/her position as the indisputable leader of the pack. Good-natured, but firm, no-nonsense training combined with sharing fun and games are how the “people politics” of the dog-owner overcome those of the dog. An occasional slip-up that allows Rufus to win a minor point doesn’t hurt.      

Several political phrases are connected to dogs. A couple of weeks ago we even said right here that it was time to “mend our fences.” Not all references are complimentary, of course. Perhaps the one that makes our ears perk up is when two contestants running for an office get into a dogfight. (Oh, that’s not your Rufus!)                                              

You never realized how attuned your dog is to the ways our national affairs are run, did you? Well, now you should be more aware of your dog’s capabilities as a skilled politician. And remember, as with all politicians, there are winners and losers. Give Rufus your vote now and then to be compatible, but in the long run, be sure you are the winner!

Until next time — BE GOOD!

—Bardi

Bardi McLennan bred, trained, and showed Welsh terriers for 30 years, during which time she wrote a monthly column on canine behavior in Dog Fancy Magazine. In addition to contributing to numerous dog publications, she has written 15 books on dogs; Rescue Me! received the ASPCA Humane Issues Award in 2008.