On Wednesday, April 9, Newtown Suicide Prevention, Rotary Club of Newtown, and Newtown Prevention Partnership trained members of the community on QPR, or question, persuade, answer. QPR is a type of suicide intervention meant to detect the signs of suicide and respond appropriately to people who may be facing these thoughts.

Neil and Jennifer Chaudhary, two members of Rotary Club of Newtown, presented the training. The Chaudharys explained they took the training themselves after successfully intervening in someone’s suicide attempt. The two felt called to do something more, so they became trainers of QPR themselves.

Learn The Statistics

Neil and Jennifer explained some statistics about suicide for the first portion of the training. In the state of Connecticut, suicide is the 15th leading cause of death. Looking at specific age ranges, that number changes: Ages 10-24 third leading cause of death; ages 25-34 second leading cause of death; ages 35-44 fourth leading cause of death; ages 45-54 sixth leading cause of death; and ages 55-64 ninth leading cause of death.

In 2019, almost five times as many people died from a fatal suicide attempt than in alcohol related motor vehicle crashes in the state. Neil explained that in a typical high school classroom, about one male and two female students have attempted suicide. However, the rate among males in 2023 experiencing a fatal suicide attempt was almost four times higher than the rate among females.

There are certain groups that are disproportionately affected by suicide than others, too, including, but not limited to, LGBTQIA+ community, members of the Armed Forces and veterans, and individuals bereaved by suicide.

Jennifer explained that for every person that has died from suicide, about 135 people are “exposed” in some way. She said to think of it like “throwing a rock in the pond. The person who dies is the rock hitting the water, and every person affected is one of those ripples.”

Learn The Cues

The Chaudharys included examples of direct and indirect verbal cues, as well as behavioral and situational cues.

Indirect phrases to look out for include, “Who cares if I’m dead anyway,” “I just want out,” “I won’t be around here much longer,” and “Pretty soon you won’t have to worry about me.”

Direct phrases to pay attention to are, “I’ve decided to kill myself,” “I wish I were dead,” “I’m going to end it all,” and “If (such and such) doesn’t happen, I’ll kill myself.”

Behavioral cues can be previous suicide attempts, stockpiling pills, acquiring a firearm, a relapse in sobriety, or a sudden uptick in drug or alcohol abuse.

Situational cues can encompass, again, previous suicide attempts, a recent unwanted move, diagnosis of a serious or terminal illness, a loss of a major relationship —especially if by suicide.

Question

The first step in QPR is questioning a person who may be experiencing a mental health crisis. The Chaudharys explained how important it is to be able to ask the question directly: “Are you considering suicide?”

The question, inherently, can be scary, intimidating, and awkward, but asking the question indirectly may not produce a direct answer. Neil and Jennifer asked the participants to turn to each other and ask the question, adding that they know it wouldn’t be easy.

Neil and Jennifer explained that people trained in QPR may have to ask a stranger crying in public alone, a close friend, or a family member, and that though the question may be hard, it is imperative in helping the person in crisis.

The Chaudharys also explained that asking a person if they are considering suicide puts the idea of suicide in their head is a myth. Jennifer said, “They are either thinking about suicide, or they aren’t.”

Research has shown repeatedly that asking a person if they are considering suicide actually gives the person relief, not distress.

Once the ice has been broken, persons intervening should continue to ask more questions, such as, “Have you made a plan” and “Have you made moves towards actualizing that plan?”

Next steps are dependent on those answers.

Persuade

“Persuade” may seem like an odd choice of words here, but the job of the intervenor in this step is to persuade the person to stay alive and to get help.

This can take many forms, but some examples include, “Will you go with me to see a counselor/priest/doctor” and “Will you help me help you be safe?”

Encouraging the person to make a “recommitment to life” is often effective and frequently met with relief and an agreement to stay alive.

Jennifer said that “you want [the person] to feel important, that they matter.” She continued, “If you get some kind of good-faith commitment from someone, follow up! Follow up with them, make sure they are okay.”

Be sure to listen to the person fully and to not pass judgment on the person in crisis. Instead, pass empathy, kindness, and attentiveness to them.

Refer

Refer is the last step of QPR. Referral means connecting the person in crisis to a mental health professional.

There are many avenues to take when referring someone to resources, including: Text or call 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline; text “START” to 678-678 or call 866-488-7386, to reach the Trevor Project’s suicide hotline for LGBTQIA+ youth; or call 911 for emergencies.

If a person needs to be treated in a facility, the Chaudharys recommended Yale New Haven Health or Silver Hill Hospital in New Caanan. Neil added that “the best bet is to take [the person] somewhere with you.”

When discussing the possibility of the person in crisis feeling angry or betrayed when confronted with QPR, Neil said, “The consequences of no action are greater than incorrect action.”

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Reporter Sam Cross can be reached at sam@thebee.com.