John Boccuzzi Sr was at Newtown Senior Center last week, when he formally launched a new initiative he and other coordinators hope will draw interest from multiple generations over the next eight months.

The founder and president of Friends of Newtown Seniors (FONS), Boccuzzi represents one organization deeply invested in “Timeless Newtown: Embracing Every Generation.” Organizers hope the series will break through stereotypes and destructive thinking toward aging and the elderly. FONS, C.H. Booth Library, Newtown Senior Center, and the Town of Newtown Commission on Aging are collaborating on the series, which will include special events for all ages.

(Read more here: "Timeless Newtown" Events At A Glance, February 1-24, 2025)

The dual meeting room at the senior center was at capacity for Boccuzzi’s presentation. Senior center members shared space with interested residents, easily filling at least 50 seats for the 60-minute program.

Boccuzzi noted those in attendance were the perfect audience for the presentation ahead.

“It’s like getting the Mormon Tabernacle Choir together and then discussing why there’s a need for a choir. You’re the folks who are usually active at the senior center,” he said. “We’re putting together programs for the entire year, and we need your help. One of the things I would really like is feedback from folks like you.”

Attendees were given a printed copy of the presentation Boccuzzi was about to give. He encouraged them to take notes as he spoke, and to be ready to share their thoughts and feedback upon the completion of his talk.

“Write questions, and suggestions, and then hold all those until the end, when we’ll talk,” he said. “I’d like to hear what you have to say, but I also want you to hear the message of what’s going to be presented.”

Too many senior citizens have accepted the stereotypes and what he called “the negative attitudes toward aging that are out there,” Boccuzzi said. He and others are hoping the “Timeless Newtown” series will combat that, or at least make people slow down and think about what they say and/or accept from media, literature, conversation, jokes, and cards for many occasions, he said.

“We all chuckled at one time or another over such things, but at the same time, for some people, that can be extremely destructive,” Boccuzzi said. “We want to try to get away from those negative stereotypes that are held. Many of us have just accepted those stereotypes, and that’s not OK.

“We want to try to get older adults to begin to look at aging in a more positive frame of mind, and to help us dispel some of those ageist tendencies that are out there,” he said. That point, he said, is the first of three things he and others are hoping “Timeless Newtown” will accomplish.

The second point will be the tools shared during the series.

“We’ve got some experts coming in, including some people I respect a great deal in both the local community and the wider community — from Yale, from UConn, from Southern Connecticut State University — and they’re going to talk about the latest research in gerontology,” he said. “They’ll tell us what’s being talked about, and what’s being discovered. There’s some real science out there.

“This isn’t just about being nice and finding euphemisms, the polite way of telling people that they’re old, which is all a bunch of nonsense. We know we’re old. I know I’m old, and I’m pretty proud of it,” he added.

“The overall concept that we’ll be emphasizing is health span over life span. You don’t want to just live a long time, you want to live a long time healthily,” he said, drawing laughter. “We’re all in agreement on that, and that’s what we’re going to be talking about with these presentations. I think you’ll really find some of these presentations very eye-opening, and also some fun.”

“Timeless Newtown” will include a One Town One Read collection of events around Ageism Unmasked: Exploring Age Bias and How To End It by Dr Tracy Gendron. Funding has been acquired to purchase 1,000 copies of Gendron’s account of the history and present-day realities of age bias.

“There are some very generous organizations out there,” Boccuzzi said.

Boccuzzi mentioned the book and its planned “Timeless Newtown” tie-ins last Friday afternoon.

The book-related events will begin July 1. Distribution of the book will begin closer to that date.

Ageism Unmasked will be used for book discussion groups, panel presentations, and other events. A townwide read will culminate in a visit by Gendron to Edmond Town Hall.

“She’s going to come in September, and do a talk, and some group discussions,” he said. “We want to get the general public, at every age, to realize why ageism at any age is a problem.

“When you write off, or I write off, that 21-year-old behind the counter, saying ‘What does he know?’ remember we have some of these prejudices ourselves,” Boccuzzi said. “Let’s see if we can get through all that ageist stuff and have everybody regard each other in a framework we should be regarded.”

He continued by asking guests to read the following brief story and share their immediate reaction:

An 85-year-old man goes to his doctor.

Patient: “Doc, I’ve got a dull pain in my right knee.”

Doctor: “Look, this knee is 85 years old. What do you expect?”

Patient: Well Doc, my other knee is also 85 years old and doesn’t hurt a bit.”

Responses ranged from “Get another doctor!” to “Kick him with your good knee.”

Boccuzzi said he believes the story “really points out where ageism hits home.” People need to make sure their physicians — and anyone caring for and/or interacting with them — see them as a person, period, not a person of any particular age.

“Being told ‘You’re in good shape … for a person of your age’ is not helpful,” Boccuzzi said. Pointing to a slide with a listing of the popular names for generations based on the decade they were born — including The Silent Generation and Baby Boomers to Generation X, Millennials and Gen Alpha — he said, “Sorting people by generations, or decades of birth, is there really any sense in grouping people by ‘Generations’? Aside from marketing, is there anything useful in putting people into categories by ages?

“All of these are just labels,” he said. “We keep grouping people and that’s just harmful.”

There Are Positives

As he spoke, Boccuzzi said there are positive ways to look at a life that continues for a long time.

“We have a broader perspective,” he said, narrating another slide. “We have seen hardships, we’ve met a variety of people, we’ve traveled, we’ve lived through many economic cycles, and we have endured loss.

“We have earned perspectives that are useful when relating to others, solving problems, facing challenges, or just getting through day to day,” he said.

One of the greatest things about living long, he said, “is how you can just shut things out now. We have less to prove,” he added. “As a matter of fact, we don’t have to prove anything, do we?”

Agency and Personal Power were two other benefits Boccuzzi offered the room.

“You have Agency,” he said, explaining the term as “your ability to influence your surroundings, circumstances, and future events. It is your ability to make things happen. You have that power and you need to be using it all the time.”

Personal Power, he said, is the ability to express Agency.

“It is the power to productively influence people and events,” he said. “It’s not to annoy people,” he clarified. “It’s to be the best person you can be.

“The best power is you’ve learned to put yourself first. That’s real important,” Boccuzzi said.

Feedback & Suggestions

The presentation moved quickly, and Boccuzzi received a round of applause at his conclusion. When he opened the floor for comments and suggestions, he said he recognized that in the room “there’s so much knowledge and wisdom, so much knowledge to be shared.”

One woman spoke of a friend who was known for her positivity, but also burdened by that.

“She was regularly told that she was an inspiration because she was ‘so positive at her age,’” the woman said. “But she didn’t want that. She didn’t want to be an inspiration. She just wanted to be happy.”

Another woman said she sees a need for more support groups.

“Mental health is as important as physical health,” she said. “I was not prepared to live alone when my husband passed. I don’t feel like I have a safe space to go, to share with others and deal with the emotions that are part of this life.”

Another attendee said she finds strength from her friends, and the relationships she builds with them.

“I think that’s the most important thing in my life right now, that you can have friends you can say anything to and they want to listen to and support you, no matter what,” she said.

One man said he thinks everyone should focus on building each other up instead of talking negatively.

“Make sure you focus on the positive of people,” he urged. “Focus on the positive aspects of people and build them up. That positive energy will come back to you, like karma.”

Another person returned to Boccuzzi’s earlier point.

“Don’t forget to interact with the young people. There are so many who are out there who are wonderful,” she said. “I look sometimes and think ‘Thank goodness for the future.’”

As surveys were passed around the room asking for feedback on the presentation and suggestions for “Timeless Newtown” programming, Friends of Newtown Seniors Board Member Frank Monette took the opportunity to share something recently published in The New York Times. New research from The Pew Foundation, he said, addressed the loneliness of people of all ages.

“It found that 66% of people 65+ say they hardly ever feel lonely,” Monette said. “Moreover, a majority of adults 50 and over report that they feel optimistic most of the time, and those over 65 are the most optimistic of all.

“Things are happening in this country because of places like this senior center, and Friends of Newtown Seniors, like people volunteering, and joining book clubs, et cetera,” he said. “It’s having an effect. We’re the happiest group in the country, and your smiles reiterate that.”

Managing Editor Shannon Hicks can be reached at shannon@thebee.com.