Some Observations

About Travel Soccer

To the Editor:

First, I would like to thank all of those in Newtown who, because of your love of soccer and for the kids, volunteer your time. My name is Maria Kowarick. I am Brazilian and came to the United States in 1988, because although my husband, Carlos, was born in Brazil, he is also American and has family here.

We moved to Newtown in 1994 after looking around and deciding that we wanted our three children to grow up in this friendly town with its excellent schools. I don’t need to explain why we all love soccer.

My intention in writing this letter is not to make accusations, but I feel it is very important to let the organizers know what I have observed over the last eight years, during which time my two boys have played soccer, and what I have heard from other parents, many of whom agree with my point of view. I am sorry if it offends anyone.

My youngest son, 11 years old, has been playing soccer for the last four years, first in-house, then travel. He always enjoyed playing and this was very important for us because we feel that sports are an important experience for both mind and body. However, for the past two years, we have noticed something that is truly disturbing.

As you know, travel soccer is a sport that requires a lot from parents since it requires us to spend almost every weekend traveling to the games. What we began to notice was that our son hardly played at all. Although he was not the star player, he wasn’t the worst one either. And I can only suppose that he was chosen to be part of the team because he showed potential. Obviously, the way to improve one’s game is to play as much as possible.

Based on this point of view, the most disturbing thing was that the son of the coach, and those of other volunteers, were on the field at least 85 percent of the games. Of course, everyone wants the team to win. But all of the players should be given the same chance or at least as nearly equal time as possible, because the coach is first of all coach and only secondly, father. If a coach/father is not able to act first of all as coach, without any favoritism, his son should not be on the team he coaches.

Another situation we observed and with which we are sure many others agree, is the lack of respect shown during the games. I believe we need to stop and think if this is the example we want to pass on to these future parents. Perhaps everyone is taking a bit too seriously something that, at least at this age, should be fun and a good example for the children.

In regard to our boy, after talking to the coach, he was very disappointed because each time he asked to be allowed to play, his request was ignored. Because of this, we decided not to participate any longer until the end of the season, for if he isn’t allowed to play, there is no reason for him to go to the games just to watch. But since he loves soccer, he wanted to try out again for the new season.

After a lot of consideration and past deception, we decided not to have him finish his tryout, because on the first day, the head coach asked him what he was doing there since he had quit before the end of the season. The boy tried to explain that he was there because he wanted to keep playing. He got no answer from the coach, who just walked away — making him feel that even if he did his best, he wouldn’t be chosen for the team again.

We have to remember that our son is only 11 years old, and if the coach wanted to know why he had quit, he should have contacted us, his parents. In spite of the boy’s disappointment, we explained to him that what is important in life is not the team you’re on but how hard you try and how you conduct yourself in life.

Sincerely

Maria Kowarick

5 Hawthorne Hill Road, Newtown                                 June 22, 2003