When On-Line Dating Services Go Bad

Who Loves Ya?

By John Voket

If you woke up February 14 vowing to make this Valentine’s Day the last one you are spending without romance in your life, you might want to avoid the temptation to fall for slick marketing disguised as lovey-dovey couples touting the latest on-line dating or matchmaking service.

Before you go to one of the thousands of “www” sites promising to find your “perfect partner,” double check whether or not you are risking your happiness, your hopes, and your hard-earned cash only to end up three times as frustrated.

According to the latest information from the Better Business Bureau of Connecticut, 2006 was a banner year for complaints against online dating and matchmaking, with a whopping 73 percent increase in complaints in 2006 compared to the previous year. And statistics being gathered for 2007 indicate the number of complaints will reach a new, record-breaking level, according to a Valentine’s Day release.

Paulette Hotton, BBB Connecticut’s CEO and president, believes consumers looking for love should take a step back and do their homework, as though contracting any other type of Internet services,.

“As popularity of these sites grows, so do the number of complaints we receive,” Ms Hotton said.

Americans spend hundreds of millions of dollars on online dating sites every year, but there is growing dissatisfaction once love’s blindness wears off, she added.

At the Connecticut Department of Consumer Protection, Commissioner Jerry Farrell, Jr, admits that dating services have become a well-established part of the social landscape. From traditional match-making services to online introductions and preset lunch dates, there is no shortage of companies claiming to help you find romance, harmony, or even a soul mate.

“It makes sense that the more people you meet and date, the more likely you are to find someone with whom you click,” Mr Farrell wrote in a pre-Valentine’s Day release. “[But] take a realistic view of the claims made by dating services to avoid playing the fool.”

Who’s In The Game?

The official said as a rule, more women join dating services than men. Therefore, the pool of available matches for a single woman looking to meet a single man through a dating service is generally smaller than for a man seeking to meet a woman.

“Although dating services try to provide appropriate matches and go to great lengths to attract desirable, eligible partners, their success rate may rise and fall frequently,” Mr Farrell said.

The state Consumer Protection Commission advises anyone considering either conventional or online matching services to acknowledge the personal and financial investment involved in signing up with a dating service. Then, resolve to choose wisely.

“As with any other major investment, ask friends, family, and colleagues if they have heard good or bad things about any particular agency or service, and check these out,” Mr Farrell advises. “While large established agencies with a reputation to uphold may be a safe option, remember that great advertising doesn’t equal great service, so weigh all the options.”

Compare history, prices, reputation, promises, and services of several different agencies. And if possible, meet representatives at more than one agency and have a chat.

“Online dating services do not provide opportunity for to connect with the company in person, so you have to carefully review the website for the information you need,” the commissioner said. Some questions that deserve a satisfactory answer include:

*What basic services are provided, including the average length of time needed to find a potential date and how close a match you can reasonably expect to your ideals?

*How many introductions are included as part of the contract? Are there any extra charges in addition to the basic fee?

*How many members; what is the ratio of women to men and their ages?

*What information does the company require from applicants? Will personal information be kept confidential? What is the company’s policy on releasing personal information, such as phone numbers and addresses before potential dates?

*Is the company bonded and insured? Ask for the name of the insurance and bonding company.

*What are your options if you are unhappy with the service? Will they extend your contract at no cost or set you up with additional contacts? Under what conditions (if any) would you be entitled to a refund?

*Ideally, you should ask for no less than three customer references and check them.

Complaints Are Plentiful

The BBB report indicates online dating offers both personalized matchmaking and online dating sites. Matchmaking sites find matches based on compatibility factors, while online dating services allow users to post information about themselves and photos, as well as search for other singles.

Some matchmaking services charge thousands of dollars, and promise to introduce clients to local singles that meet specific criteria.

“Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work that way,” Ms Hotton said, detailing these heartbreaking statistics:

*Disputes over the caliber and demographics of available singles promised (35 percent of complaints). A significant number of complainants said, despite their specific criteria, they were matched with smokers, matches who were uneducated, lived too far away or even married.

*Poor or rude customer services (17 percent) and high pressure sales (13.7 percent).

*Dissatisfaction with the number of arranged dates (15.1 percent).

Typical Online Dating Site Complaints:

*Contracts normally define a specific length of membership and charge a monthly fee. However, the contract is typically renewed automatically. As a result about two-thirds of complaints (63.7 percent) are about accounts being automatically renewed. Many customers did not realize they needed to cancel the account or they did take the necessary steps but billing continued anyway.

*Other common complaints about online dating sites include the inability to immediately cancel after signing up (6.8 percent) and the practice of the company contacting other singles on behalf of the complainant (6.3 percent).

Take A Breath

Mr Farrell said clients should never feel pressured into signing up on the spot for dating services.

“Take the contract home, or print it from the website — read it, and write down your questions. You may even want to share the contract with an attorney or advisor,” he said. “Be sure all the conditions and terms that were described to you are included in the printed contract, including the amount of your required deposit. And don’t pay more than 10 to 15 percent in advance.”

Look carefully to see when the contract expires, and read what you have to do to either renew or cancel. Does the contract include an automatic renewal clause?

In Connecticut, if a written consumer contract contains a provision for automatic renewal of the contract, the customer must be given a clear and conspicuous written notice that he or she may cancel the contract, along with the procedure for such cancellation. Depending on the length of the contract, the required notice shall be given to the customer at least 15, but not more than 60 days before the end of the original contract.

“Once you sign a contract for a dating service, Connecticut law provides you with three business days to cancel the contract,” the commissioner reminded. “You must cancel in writing; either in person or by certified or registered mail to the address provided in the contract for that purpose.”

Any dating service contract offered in Connecticut, whether online or in person, must contain this three-day notice of cancellation and must refund your money in ten days if you exercise the cancellation.

Before signing, the Commissioner says check customer references if possible, then contact the Department of Consumer Protection at 800-842-2649 to see if there are complaints about the business and request a reliability report from the Better Business Bureau.

In 2007, the Department of Consumer Protection received five consumer complaints, most from individuals who claimed they requested and were promised social referrals to persons with certain characteristics, but were provided with matches that were quite different in terms of age, religious affiliation, and personal habits such as smoking.

Connecticut consumers are protected against unfair practices such as misrepresentation and deception in promotions and sales pitches. Anyone not satisfied with the representations and service provided by a dating service should file a complaint with the Department of Consumer Protection.

Don’t get dealt out of an opportunity to meet a potential soul mate by an unscrupulous dating or matchmaking service. To best protect one’s self, visit www.ct.gov/dcp for information from the Consumer Protection Commission, or go to www.bbb.org for information from the Better Business Bureau on this and other issues of interest to consumers.