The following letter has been received for publication in The Newtown Bee:

Dear Friends,

Not quite ten years ago, my husband, the father of our three boys, disappeared without a trace. It felt like the world had spun off its axis.

Me and my boys were broken, each of us left to create a narrative to a story we might never fully understand, but one we could ultimately live with.

For nearly ten years, that is what we did.

Last Tuesday (December 6), an extraordinary thing happened. We learned that my husband, the father of our three sons, had spent those ten years living under an assumed name in a small town not far from here.

We were also told he had recently died.

We were blindsided, unexpectedly and punishingly plunged back down the rabbit hole we had worked so hard for years to climb from.

Miraculously though, along with this stunning news, came two gifts: a journal and a set of rings: his wedding band, which was found on his nightstand and a silver ring, a gift from his son Max, which he was still wearing when he died.

The journal had been written during the first few weeks of his journey, away from the people he loved, toward his new life. In it, he explains his need to escape the violence surrounding us and the lack of political action, spurred, he felt, by greed, selfishness, and materialism; his need to go back to the simplicity of nature; his wish for us all, as humans, to live more fully in kindness and love.

He apologizes to us, his family, deeply and mournfully, and page after page, he pleads his love for each of us by name, as if a mantra. He writes to each of us directly of his hopes and dreams for our futures. He specifically says this choice was not any of our fault. He believes we will be strong enough to survive this. He believes we can forgive him.

Though this new chapter has unbalanced us, my boys and I are strong. Our strength is powered by all of you. We have been and continue to be lucky to be lifted by your kindness and outpouring of love.

This is our story and ours alone. And, it ends here.

But the healing continues and forgiveness, for some, has already come and for others, will come in time.

In the meantime, Strive to Be Kind.

Gratefully,

The Hoagland Family

Newtown, CT