Bits & Pieces

A Shoppin’ We Will Go,

A Shoppin’ We Will Go …

By Kim J. Harmon

 

Deck the halls with boughs of holly, ‘tis the season to be, gosh, fretting about finding just the right gift for that sports fan on your Christmas list. You say he has everything? Well, I bet he doesn’t have a basket filled with chocolate golf balls or a pair of Sports Pages boxer shorts.

Oh yeah, there are all kinds of funny, cool and totally useless items available this holiday season.

How about the Monopoly NHL game from www.sports-buff.com which is totally ironic in the fact that the National Hockey League has a monopoly and, yet, very nearly went out of business. Then there is the Bucket of Chocolate Golf Balls for $8.95 that will be a lot more fun that standing at the range and hooking one ball after another over the fence.

If you have a golfer on your list, pick up a Golf Scope for $24.95 from www.thegolfcollection.com. Billed as a powerful 8x zoom that is “the latest technology in yardage indication,” this is perfect for that player who is into cheating, as devices like these are illegal. Or, better yet, pick up an Incred-a-Ball radio controlled golf ball for $22.95 so he or she can be even more unproductive at work.

Now, for those fans who like to bring the newspaper into the restroom with them, there are the Sports Pages boxer shorts for $11.95 (or 2 for $30) from www.wackyplanet.com. Pretty cool, even if the news never changes.

From www.jokechallenge.com you can find Chair Caddies (holding the television remote control and a drink) with golf, soccer, baseball and basketball themes. So, instead of forget to put the remote on the coffee table that sports fan can forget to put the remote in the chair caddy and go back to hunting in the couch cushions.

If that sports fan is one of those who froths at the mouth and shouts at the television a lot, then get a Ref Bop Bag. Whenever a referee makes a bad call against his or her favorite team (which, trust me, is every four seconds) then the fan can take it out on the bag instead of the family pet.

If chair caddies and ref bop bags are not it, then look for the Fish Head Can Coolers at only $19.95 per set. A large mouth bass, walleye, rainbow trout and catfish can keep those cans of, uh, soda pop chilly while those anglers angle.

But if you’re looking for something cool and, oddly enough, useful then pick up an NFL or MLB checkers games for $21.95. Each game comes with 24 helmets – 12 from your favorite team and 12 more from a rival team www.jokechallenge.com picks out for you.

Useful is not what this is about, however, which leads us to www.noveltyandmore.com and Novelty money nicely printed with scenes of football, soccer, basketball, baseball, motocross and wrestling. You can get $100 for just $19.95 or $1,000 for just $100, but be sure to include a note with the gift that money is not redeemable for beer or nachos.

Now, does that golfer on your list always complain about the one guy in his foursome (maybe even his boss) who always plays well and is never shy about gloating about it? Then pick up the Golf Voodoo Kit from www.findgift.com/categories/ sports/golf/funny. It includes a golf handbook, golfer voodoo doll and golf tee-shaped stickpins to enable a frustrated duffer to give that arrogant show-off in his or her foursome the yips. The perfect gift for the golfer who has everything – except a single digit handicap.

It might also help that duffer if he or she receives a Personalized PGA Golf Scoreboard Photo for $27.95 from www.gifts.com. It’s an 11x14 color photograph of an actual golf event leaderboard that includes the duffer’s name – the tournament leader after carding a 68.

Now – get shopping!