Tips From An Expert –

The Seniors’ Housing Challenge: Making The Move From Big To Small

By Jan Howard

Moving from a large home to a smaller one can be a traumatic event whether you have lived in the house ten years or sixty. How do you decide what to keep and take with you? What do you do with all your “stuff” you have accumulated all the years you have lived in your house that just won’t fit in the new one?

These and other concerns were discussed by Marijean Achilli, founder of Senior Transitions of West Hartford, as part of a free seminar series, “The Transition Process,” sponsored by The Homesteads at Newtown on November 16 at the C.H. Booth Library.

Discussing “The Traumas of Moving Madness,” Ms Achilli passed on some hints on how to face the transition of moving to a smaller home and how to prioritize your “stuff” by breaking the tasks down into manageable sections.

“No one does house planning,” Ms Achilli said. “No one thinks about how to deal with stuff.”

She suggested that the audience members “go home, get a garbage bag – not one of those small ones, but a big one – and fill it up. Do one a week. It’s a good thing to do right away. The main reason to procrastinate is because you can’t deal with it.”

She said it could be a sensitivity initiation to downsizing, which sometimes causes people to have a nervous breakdown or at other times feel excited. “We’re emotionally attached to our stuff,” she said.

Ms Achilli referred to the process of downsizing as TAPS (Treasures and Time, Assets and Associations, Possessions and Physical Health, and Stuff).

To begin the process, Ms Achilli suggested that people take an hour and go to a quiet place. “Take a blank piece of paper and write down all your treasures,” she said. “Think about what you own. What are your real treasures?”

“On another blank piece of paper, list the intangible treasures of your life,” she said, such as things associated with someone, or something really important to you, such as being able to spend time with your spouse, children, or grandchildren, or reading or gardening.

“When you take these two – how would you spend any remaining time you have?” she queried. “Put them on your refrigerator and refer back to them.”

“The time you want with loved ones is most important,” Ms Achilli said.

Giving up some of the “stuff,” she said, brings simplicity and spirituality. “Everything has an opposite. There is a plus and minus in everything in life.”

She suggested using different color Post-its® to put on household items “to get an idea on whether it’s a treasure or an asset.

“Can you live without it? If you can’t bring it with you, make it an asset. Gift it to someone or sell it. Even though it’s a treasure, see if you can turn it into an asset,” she said.

“There’s nothing worse than dying and having people divide your things,” she added. “Think of who to give it to. It will be priceless if you give it to a friend. It will be an asset if you sell it. There are wonderful things you can do.”

 It’s the same for other possessions, she noted. “When you simplify your life, you can really sit back and make fairly easy decisions when giving things or selling them.”

Consider whether the item will be a valuable or necessary thing in your new life. If not, turn it into an asset. “They are only material things,” she said.

“When you die you leave memories, money, and material things,” she said. “If you give your best, you give lots of memories, some material things, and some money.”

“You must set priorities and put everything in perspective,” Ms Achilli said.

“Stuff is burdening you down,” she said. “All that stuff you had, such as magazines with great articles in them. Get rid of them. We keep more junk because we think we’ll need it again someday. Waste not, want not, save for a rainy day. We pay a monthly fee for storage bins for things we don’t use. We all do it.”

“It just weighs you down,” she said. “Get rid of the trappings. The important things are not material things.”

Do a paper purge, Ms Achilli suggested. Throw out anything over a year old unless it must be kept for a longer period of time for legal purposes.

Get rid of clothing that doesn’t fit. Give it to churches or the Salvation Army. “If you’re ever a size eight again, go out and buy yourself something new. There are a lot of people who could use that clothing.”

Prioritize what is important in life, she said. Take a look at your possessions and figure out what you really need. Perhaps, instead of moving your furniture, you should buy new.

Selling The House

Have three real estate agents evaluate your house, Ms Achilli suggested. “If you price your house fairly, it’s half sold.”

You have to work with a realtor so take the time to find the right person, she said.

“Don’t sign a listing for more than three months,” she noted.

You do not need your house to be spotless before a real estate agent comes out, she said.

However, because your house is most times your biggest asset, you should spend some money to prepare it for sale.

A home inspection is a valuable tool that can point out some things that need to be fixed prior to the house going on the market, such as replacing underground oil tanks. If not replaced, they could take away from the asking price.

A home inspection is required before a mortgage is given, she said.

In some cases, a house might have a better chance of selling if the owner moved out prior to a sale, she said. But most of the time, it’s better for the house to be occupied.

“It’s always better to sell furnished if you have attractive things,” she said.

“Assess your house from an honest point of view. It could make a difference in the price,” Ms Achilli said.

Get a professional company to clean your house, she suggested. “Clean is important. Your bathroom and kitchen are most important.”

If your house needs painting, offer to have it painted in the color of the prospective buyer’s choice,” she said.

“If you’re offered lower than your asking price, don’t take it personally,” Ms Achilli said. “Move when it’s best for you. You will find a buyer.”

Most of all, she said, “Be kind to yourself during this time. Have a pity party. After that, feel better. We all go through traumas like this.

“Do things for yourself you’d do for others. Get new clothes. You’re going to have money from your house,’” she said. “Pretend you’re Santa Claus. Have fun with this. Make this an exciting transition.”

“It’s not what you’re losing, it’s what you’re gaining. Time,” she said. “Give your life simplicity. Have peace of mind and spirituality.”

Ms Achilli, an expert in senior citizen housing alternatives, was formerly the director of a retirement community. She has served on the boards of the Retirement Community Associates of Connecticut and the Connecticut Assisted Living Association. She is also a licensed real estate broker and member of the National Association of Realtors.

Senior Transitions was founded to provide guidance and support to seniors. Ms Achilli can be reached at 860/561-3365 or by e-mail at mj@srTransitions.com.