Pregnancy can be a beautiful time in a woman’s life, but for some mothers, it can be marked with loss and insurmountable grief. October 15 was declared National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day by the Rosenthal administration in 2018 here in Newtown. Kathy Gardner and Jessi Ruotollo, Newtown residents, ensure it is celebrated annually — this year was no different.

Despite the windy, cold night, a small group gathered in front of the community center to celebrate the lives gone too soon. The group shared stories, exchanged hugs, words of comfort and healing, and wrote names on hearts to commemorate their lost children.

Gardner shared with The Bee, “Jessi and I always say if this gives one mom, one family, one place to go for one night, then it’s worth putting on.” She welcomed the crowd to the event and invited them to decorate the hearts with whatever they felt was right.

She explained, “For those who have just lost their child, they’re rudderless … Women whose children died [are] suffering unbearably.”

As Gardner addressed the crowd, she said, “[Jessi and I are] local moms that wanted to give a place for other moms, families, to come to grieve the loss of their babies, because there’s nothing like that.”

Gardner expressed her need to find other women that knew what she went through. “There’s just nothing like the community. When [Tinsley] died, I knew I had to find moms that had experienced it,” she said.

The entire month of October was deemed Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month back in the 80s. Gardner shared that the government was on “the heels” of understanding PTSD and its relationship to stillbirth moms, “the same way that Vietnam vets were.”

Ruotollo shared the story of her son Luca. She was living in Japan with her husband, Joe, who was active duty air force at the time. “Even though it sounds like I was so far away from family, which I was, I was surrounded by just the most wonderful friends who just carried me through. I feel like trying to build that community here is really comforting to … the families who just had that really recent, raw loss, [it’s] so hard. It’s still hard years later, but I do feel like it’s a blessing to be able to show people that we’re still here and we’re happy, and life gets better even though it’s just different.”

Ruotollo told the crowd that even if someone did not feel comfortable sharing their story that night, she will always be willing to listen even “a year from now,” and she will say “come on over.”

Following the short introduction, the group began their walk around the Fairfield Hills Campus, holding hands and teddy bears. When they returned to the front of the community center, they lit candles and read the names of lost babies.

For any reader that may be struggling with the loss of a pregnancy or infant, please know Gardner and Ruotollo are there to show support. They are kindhearted women willing to listen and celebrate the life of any baby.

For more information about the Walk to Remember, reach out to Gardner at kgardner808@gmail.com.

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Reporter Sam Cross can be reached at sam@thebee.com.