One Exchange Family’s Ties Still Extend To Sweden

By Jan Howard

It was a whirlwind trip, but it was an important one for Marilyn Alexander of Newtown.

Mrs Alexander and her daughter, Kathy Stater of Jacksonville, Fla., flew to Sweden in June to attend the wedding of a young woman who lived with the Alexanders from August 1987 to July 1988 as an exchange student through the American Scandinavian Student Exchange program.

They left for Sweden on June 15 and flew back home on the 19th. In those few days they attended the June 17 wedding of Pernilla Staaff to Bengt Hugoson, toured the old city in Stockholm, and drove north of Stockholm to a village on the archipelago.

“I see Pernilla as a friend and as one of our children. She’s like another daughter,” Mrs Alexander said.

This was Mrs Alexander’s second trip to Sweden. In June 1990 she and her husband Paul spent a week in Sweden. “We went primarily to attend Pernilla’s graduation from her school there. We met her parents, Urban and Marrianne Staaff, and the rest of her family. It was lots of fun. Everyone was so nice to us.”

The wedding ceremony, which took place in a 13th century church in Taby, a suburb of Stockholm, was entirely in Swedish, as were the hymns sung during the service.  The wedding reception was held in an old armory, which Mrs Alexander described as “stunning,” with cobblestone floors and archways. “The Swedish cavalry is housed there,” she said. The meal was served in the mess hall, and the dancing was in the ballroom.

“It was unbelievably breathtaking and charming,” she said.

“Her father welcomed everyone in English,” she said, but the toasts were in Swedish. “We had no idea what was being said, but we knew they were either loving or funny depending on the bride and groom’s reactions.”

Mrs Alexander also made a toast, expressing “how thankful we were that we had her in our lives, and that we have come to her wedding.”

“The people were just charming. They treated us like royalty,” she said. “They couldn’t believe we came from America for the wedding.”

In 1990, the Alexanders stayed in a hotel in the old part of Stockholm. They toured the southern part of Sweden with Pernilla’s parents, who took time off from work to drive them through the southern parts of Sweden. They had a tour of Parliament, the royal palace of Drottingholm, and the Kosta Boda glass factory.

During that visit, they met Pernilla’s youngest sister, Duda. At the time, Pernilla’s middle sister, Ulrika, was in Texas as an exchange student.

Mrs Alexander said she likes Sweden a great deal. “It’s a beautiful country. Sweden is a land of 98,000 lakes, pine trees, birch trees and parks, red-tiled roofs, beautiful babies, excellent hosts, and tired cows. The cows are always lying down. I never saw them standing,” she said, laughing.

“The people are very friendly, very hospitable. Most Swedes speak English so it makes it very comfortable for us,” Mrs Alexander said. “Stockholm is very old, with a lot of church spires.”

Stockholm is a busy city, she said. It is comprised of many islands connected by bridges. However, despite Stockholm being a city, its traffic is “civilized,” she noted.

“We took two ferries to a small island where her father lives,” she said. “He works in Stockholm and has an apartment there, but spends weekends on the island.” Mr Staaff is a colonel in the Swedish army, Mrs Alexander said.

Pernilla Staaff arrived in Newtown in August 1987 and studied at Newtown High, graduating in June 1988 with the Alexanders’ son, Peter.

“We had entertained the idea of hosting a foreign exchange student in the past and were interviewed by AFS,” Mrs Alexander said. However, she added, “After much thought we decided at that time we would need our heads examined to have another teenager in our home. We had four at that time.

“A few years later, when all those teenagers had left our home, and we just had Peter, our fifth child, with us, we took the plunge and extended an invitation to host a foreign exchange student. We heard about American Scandinavian Student Exchange and looked into this organization.

“We were pleased to welcome Pernilla into our home. She was and is a sweet young lady,” Mrs Alexander said.

During her stay in Newtown, Pernilla visited the United Nations, the Statue of Liberty, New York City, Washington, DC, Florida, and Winston-Salem, N.C. She attended two family weddings and a graduation ceremony at Wake Forrest Univ.

“Pernilla entertained us at Christmas time by dressing in a typical Swedish costume, wreath, and candles, and singing to us,” Mrs Alexander said, describing the St Lucia Day custom of Sweden.

Mrs Alexander said Pernilla was active in Newtown High School and received good grades. “She was a Marquette and enjoyed Newtown High School very much.

“Pernilla and Peter behaved just like siblings,” she said. “It was good for Peter as he had had the house to himself for a long time. We had a large graduation party for both of them in June 1988.

“We had our usual Fourth of July party, and then Pernilla left to go home the next day,” Mrs Alexander said.

After graduation from high school, Ms Staaff studied law at the University of Stockholm. She later went into business with her sister, supplying temporary nurses to hospitals and other health-care facilities.

Pernilla did not forget the Alexanders when she left their home in 1988. She has been back to Newtown five times to visit the family, Mrs Alexander said. “I hope she’ll come back with her husband soon.”