Finding Comfort In The Spotlight

By Shannon Hicks

DANBURY — Do you have a surge of anxiety when you learn you will need to speak or perform in front of others? Do you try to avoid giving presentations or performances if you can get out of them? Do you suffer from anxiety thinking about your presentation or performance ahead of time? Do you worry about embarrassing yourself in front of others, worry that people will see how anxious you are, or worry you will mess up and look like a fool?

Has stage fright created inner turmoil for you or led to missed opportunities?

Stage fright is a serious problem for people of all ages, not just children who learn they have been assigned oral presentations in school. The No. 1 fear most people admit to is performing in public, beating everything else including commitment, flying, sickness, even death.

“That means if you’re at a funeral, you’d rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy,” the comedian Jerry Seinfeld once quipped.

But stage fright is no joke. People have passed on promotions or have had their potential hampered because they know they are unable to speak to large groups or important clients. Careers can end immediately if someone cannot get on stage and perform.

In an interview published in the September 26, 2000, edition of The Holland Sentinel, singer-songwriter Joan Baez admitted she used to be terrified when she had to take the stage.

“I’ve always liked to paint and draw, and singing for me was like breathing,” she said in the interview. “But when I was younger, it wasn’t that much fun. I had stage fright… I was full of terrible fears.”

In her book In The Spotlight: Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking and Performing, released in April, Janet Esposito of Roxbury offers lessons and ideas on overcoming stage fright from firsthand experience. A licensed clinical social worker in the Danbury area for over 14 years, Ms Esposito suffered from the fear of public speaking for years.

Ms Esposito is among those who will have a booth at this weekend’s Women’s Work Expo, a full-day event that features workshops and exhibitors offering products and services of interest to working women. She will have copies of her book available for purchase and signing, and she will be able to answer questions from visitors.

The Expo returns this year to Danbury Hilton & Towers, on Old Ridgebury Road in Danbury (follow signs from I-84 Exit 2). It will run from 8:30 am to 5 pm on Saturday, October 28. Call Sharon Hamilton, 792-2070, for additional information.

For over a decade Janet Esposito had, the psychotherapist writes early in her book, “an intense fear… that other people would find out how anxious and fearful I was, and they would think there was something really wrong with me.” Ms Esposito was fine when working one-on-one with patients or even with a few people in an informal setting, she continued, but felt a “real panic” when she had to speak in a more formal setting.

The big change came five years ago, when Ms Esposito joined a partnership in a private practice group. She finally pushed herself to admit, face, and then conquer her fears.

“As a therapist, I have specialized in helping people who have a wide array of anxiety problems,” she wrote in the chapter “Coming Out of the Closet.” “In recent years I have become most interested in helping people who have phobias related to speaking, as well as performers such as singers, musicians, actors, and actresses who have performance anxiety.

“I began to see results my clients were getting by using the methods that I had used to help myself,” she continued.

As word of Janet Esposito’s success in helping herself and then others with performance anxiety began to spread, she became more sought after as a teacher. In the Spotlight, LLC, was formed with a mission to help people overcome their fear of public speaking, performing, and other social anxiety.

Since March of 1998 Ms Esposito has been teaching a course called “No More Stagefright.” The course is conducted generally once a month in Southbury or Waterbury on weekends. Cost is $350 for the two-day seminar, and classes are usually no more than 12 people each.

Clients are of all ages, with the majority in the 20s-to-40s bracket. Those seeking Ms Esposito’s expertise can work in a group format or one-on-one, although she suggests that those who start one-on-one move into a group eventually. “My focus is to create a group of safety, so people can come into a group like this and work on their fears without feeling so threatened,” she explained. Ms Esposito also has a Web site, through which she can be contacted (www.performanceanxiety.com).

Her latest classroom venture is teleclasses. Ms Esposito is now working with a bridge line, a special phone line that can connect her with people across the country, and even internationally. Those setting up the teleclass select a time and put out an announcement concerning when the line will be running.

“People have a special number they can call, and you can spend time with all these people in all parts of the country and beyond, all at the same time,” she explained recently. “I’ve been on other people’s teleclasses, and find them extremely valuable. They’re good for support, and good for information gathering.

“They usually run about an hour,” she continued, “and you have a group leader or moderator. People can give and take information and support.” Ms Esposito plans to start monthly teleclasses as soon as possible.

“I had never intended to write a book,” Ms Esposito said. “That was never part of my life plan. But after I was running my course for over a year, I saw the tremendous success people were having with the message I was teaching.” Ms Esposito said she also found a number of people were contacting her, telling her they wanted to attend her course but could not, due to logistics, and were hoping they might be able to have something to read.

“That’s what prompted me to do this,” she said. The book is suitable as a primer before taking the course, as a study guide for those who have already taken the course, and can also be used by those who cannot get to Connecticut, although Ms Esposito has had clients fly in from as far as Texas and California to see her, to take “No More Stagefright” in person. International clients have taken advantage of the Internet or telephone contacts to receive help from Ms Esposito.

The 155-page softcover book, published by Strong Books of Southbury, is available from Ms Esposito’s Web site or through Amazon.com for $16.95.

“One of the things people tell me is they are drawn to me because I suffered from [stage fright] myself for over ten years,” said Ms Esposito. “Even though I would go out and do a presentation, and people would actually compliment me on my speaking skills, internally I was completely panicked.”

For additional information on Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking and Performing, Ms Esposito will be at the Women’s Expo at Danbury Hilton & Towers on Saturday, October 28. She can also be contacted directly at 860/210-1499.