Thomas David Carey (“Tom” or “Papi” as his grandchildren affectionately called him) died on October 14, 2024 at his home in Westport, after a valiant battle with pancreatic cancer. He was surrounded by love.

He is survived by his wife, Patricia Honan Carey; his daughter, Meaghan Carey (New York, N.Y.); sons Michael Carey (Fairfield) and Brian Carey (Westport); daughters-in-law whom he loved like his own children, Lapde Carey (Michael) and Abigail Carey (Brian); and five grandchildren: Liam (9) Louie (8), Eliza (6), Jude (5), and Maeve (2). He is also survived by his siblings: Sas Carey, Jason Carey (Carolyn), Joan Carey (Andy Baron), and Julie Petro; sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law; and his nieces, nephews, and great-nieces and nephews, with whom he shared a close and loving relationship.

Tom was born on December 4, 1955, to Ann (Titsworth) and Harold F. Carey. He grew up in Newtown where, at Newtown High School, he met the love of his life and his wife of forty-seven years, Patricia Honan Carey (“Pat”).

He married Pat on June 18, 1977, shortly after proudly graduating from Williams College Cum Laude with a BA in Economics. At Williams, he made lifelong friends and cultivated his passion for learning.

He joined the Citibank training program upon graduation and he and Pat moved to the Bronx just in time for the 1977 New York City blackout. He had a forty-year career in finance and commercial real estate investing at Citigroup, Trian Group, Morgan Stanley, and Apollo Global Real Estate.

Tom and Pat started their family in Norwalk, moved to Plano, Tex., in 1983, and settled in Westport in 1985.

Tom and Pat traveled the world together, and especially loved their frequent trips to Italy, where the entire family celebrated their fortieth wedding anniversary in a beautiful Tuscan village in 2017.

Upon his retirement in 2019, Tom became active in the local community, joining, and later chairing, the Conservation Committee, and becoming a proud member of Rotary, where he made great friends and served as treasurer.

His work with the Conservation Committee enhanced his lifelong love of gardening and he created beautiful native organic gardens at his home, bringing birds, butterflies, and bees to the yard.

Tom loved sports and was a statistics nerd. At Williams, he was the men’s basketball

play-by-play announcer for the college radio station. He was a lifelong Yankees fan and was hoping to celebrate one more World Series. He coached youth teams for all three of his children and attended the majority of sporting events in which his children participated, including Michael’s Union College soccer games and track meets and Brian’s Williams College swim meets. He was a certified referee in soccer and a certified US Swimming official. He served as co-president of the Westport/Weston YMCA Water Rats Parents’ Club.

He loved cooking, and prepared elaborate restaurant quality dinners each Sunday night for the entire family. Especially beloved was the paella he would cook over an open fire. He and Pat hosted an annual Fourth of July party for their extended family, which included an annual, and very competitive, pool basketball game, from which he retired only after becoming a grandfather.

He took his Beefeater martinis so dry that he preferred for the vermouth to remain in the bottle, his scotch Dewars on the rocks, always taken from his Waterford decanter, and his wine a robust Italian red.

His favorite role was that of Papi to his five grandchildren to whom he told elaborate stories with made-up characters, just as he did for his own children when they were young.

The Carey family would like to thank the nursing and medical staff at Memorial Sloan Kettering for providing such excellent, supportive care and to the nurses and social workers from Regional Hospice for helping to keep him comfortable in his last days.

Please check thomasdcarey.com in the coming days for information concerning a Celebration of Life.

Donations can be made to Westport Rotary at westportrotary.org/sponsor-info/.