The Value Of Engaging Our Children,

To the Editor:

My husband and I are parents of soon to be 8-year-old triplets. Whether you are a parent of one, three, or five children, we all share the challenge of balancing work, our professional interests, and the care and nurturing of our children.

I had the heart-wrenching experience of returning to work when my children were only 3 months old. Fortunately, my husband could stay at home to care for them while pursuing his lifelong interest of not-for-profit efforts and involvement in our community.

In March of this year, I took a break from my 22-year career. Many of us spend our lives doing what is necessary to support our families, and in pursuit of that we can lose sight of what matters most. I hope this letter is a simple reminder to parents that what our children need most is our time and attention. Not while passing them in the hallway, rushing them off to school, or signing off on homework that we barely have time to review. Rather, they need us to be engaged, to ask questions, and to truly pay attention to what is transpiring in their lives.

I am not suggesting that every working parent can alter his or her life dramatically to be more involved. I am advocating that we stop and take note of what we can do.

This summer was the first where I was home with my children. I bought binders, colored tabs, and a few preparation books and created a Summer Fun Camp for my children with lessons and activities each week. I focused on math exercises, science, phonics, reading, art and I even threw in a few book reports. It was eye-opening and exhilarating to watch them learn and grow and feel so much more involved.

As my children entered second grade I began to compare what they had done with us over the summer to what was transpiring in the classroom, and it was never clearer that schooling is a partnership. Teachers are educators, and in our area we have some of the best! Teachers, however, are not a substitute for parents’ involvement, and I think all teachers would agree. We, as parents, know our children better than anyone, and we know how to motivate and engage them. We need to truly pay attention to what our children are learning and most importantly to “how” they learn.

If you are a parent that finds yourself not feeling engaged enough, it is never too late. I assure you that you can find the time and invent creative ways to help your children grow and succeed.

This is just one mother’s thoughts. Do whatever works, but do something so that at some point in your life you don’t look back and regret your lack of involvement. Our children need us more than we know!

Margaret Belden

3 Oak Ridge Drive, Newtown                                       October 7, 2009