A Breast Cancer Survivor Stresses

 The Need For Self-Exams

By Kaaren Valenta

Bek Meyers was seven months pregnant with her second child and would never have thought about breast cancer if a friend in her book club hadn’t been recently diagnosed.

“She told us how important it was do to a self-breast examination –– she said you have to self-exam — so I went home and did one,” Ms Meyers said. “That’s how I found the lump.”

Now cancer-free for five years, Bek Meyers has seldom spoken in public about her experience as a survivor of breast cancer. She moved to Newtown from Bergen County, N.J., with her husband, Bob, and their sons in 1998 at the end of her treatment, and thought of the move as a fresh start, leaving all the painful memories behind.

But last year she began volunteering with the American Cancer Society as a “Look Good…Feel Better” volunteer and joined the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk held annually in October at Sherwood Island State Park in Westport. She also was the guest speaker recently at the Making Strides kickoff breakfast held in Trumbull.

“I really am not interested in talking about myself, but I cannot say often enough how important it is for women to do self-breast examinations,” she said. “Until we learn what causes breast cancer, and until we find a cure, a self-breast examination is our most important weapon. We want to find it early before it metastasizes and when it is most easily treated. ”

Even after Bek Meyers found the lump in her breast, she still did not think it was serious. Because she was pregnant, and because there was no history of breast cancer in her family, she assumed it probably was a clogged milk duct.

“I called the doctor, but the line was busy, busy, busy so I waited until my next appointment the following Thursday,” she said. “Even then I almost got dressed to go home before I remembered to mention it to my doctor.”

“The doctor decided to be cautious and do a needle aspiration,” she said. “Even the radiologist said ‘I’m sure it’s nothing,’” but the day after that the doctor’s office called and wanted me to come in. Even then I still thought that it was just a cyst. But the doctor said they found malignant cells.”

It was a fairly large tumor, more than four centimeters. Ms Meyer’s physicians decided to do a caesarian section three weeks early to deliver her baby. Within two weeks, she had a mastectomy, and then because of the type of cancer, she began a very aggressive chemotherapy treatment.

“Now women have reconstruction surgery at the same time as a mastectomy, but because I had been pregnant I couldn’t do it at that time. I had it a year later,” she said.

She was hospitalized once during her chemotherapy treatment because her white cell count dropped so low, and her regular treatments were difficult but she always knew she would recover.

“I considered myself cured from day one. I have really strong faith,” she said.

She also was helped enormously by her family and her network of friends..

“My husband’s parents, Marge and Tom Meyers of Fairfield, came to New Jersey every time I had a chemotherapy and took our sons for two nights. What a gift –– taking a newborn and a toddler,” she said. “But that’s just the kind of people they are. They [also] were named volunteers of the year at St Vincent’s Hospital.”

Her brother, who is a nurse, and his daughter also came out for ten days when she first came home from the hospital, but most of Ms Meyers’ family lives across the country on the West Coast.

“I think in a lot of ways it is harder for the spouse and the family than it is for the person with cancer,” she said. “I was sure I was not going to die. I wasn’t afraid, I was confident. But my husband felt powerless.”

The cancer made the couple rethink their lives and use the opportunity of a job change to move to Connecticut, where they are now a half-hour away from his parents rather than an hour and a half.

“Our son Matt is now 5, and in kindergarten. He has an 8-year-old brother, John, who is in third grade, both at Hawley School,” Bek Meyers said. “They have a special bond with their grandparents.”

During her cancer treatment, when the chemotherapy caused her to lose all of her hair, she went through the “Look Good…Feel Better” program sponsored by the American Cancer Society.

“It is a wonderful, wonderful program,” she said. “A licensed cosmetologist teaches [cancer patients] how to apply makeup –– it’s a challenge to apply makeup when you don’t have eyebrows –– and talks on using wigs, hats, and scarves. The participants each get a lot of free makeup to keep donated by companies that make the top-quality products.”

Being with other cancer survivors also helps, she said.

“There were periods when I was very sick and depressed and feeling sorry for myself,” Ms Meyers admitted. “I didn’t want to go out with friends. It was nice to be around someone else who understood because they also had cancer.”

The program also provides resources for the patients, and specialists who can talk about such subjects as nutrition and exercise. After the Meyers family moved to Newtown, Bek asked if she could be a volunteer. Last year she also jogged in the Strides walk to help raise money for breast cancer research and services.

But even more important, she believes, is to raise the awareness of breast cancer and the need for self-examination. “It’s a matter of knowing your own body, of memorizing your breasts, so that if there is a change, you will recognize it,” she said.

“Nobody believes it will happen to them,” she added. ‘I certainly didn’t and when it did, I still didn’t believe it. Statistics show that a vast majority of the women who find a lump wait a year or more to seek treatment.”

Breast cancer is not something that only strangers get.

“I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been or won’t be touched by it,” Bek Meyers said. “In my book group, which only had six women, another member was diagnosed after I left. That is three of the six members. Nobody is immune to this.”

Bek Meyers will be participating in the five-mile Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk in Westport on October 19. Anyone who would like to join her or help sponsor her fundraising walk can contact Ms Meyers at 364-1783.