To the Editor:

I would like to commend Lori Clure for speaking out with her article about Newtown Babe Ruth Softball. This issue has infected the schools as well. As a 10-year coach in both softball and basketball, I’ve had a front row seat to some pretty dysfunctional  and  inappropriate behavior.  I’ve pretty much seen it all. My own kids have repeatedly suffered the consequences of misguided and  mean behavior by adults who call themselves “coaches and mentors” and I find it to be reprehensible.

Teams both at the town and school level are treated like “private parties” and the politics and “backroom dealings” as Lori suggests, are truly out of control. Her experience is far from isolated; it is getting worse each season. My high school junior, as well as several of her fellow students, have been treated callously and unfairly during their participation with both volleyball and softball at the high school. They have been removed at times from even having a fair chance to prove themselves at the hands of coaches more concerned with wins to satisfy their own egos, than the well being and development of the girls.

Returning players get stepped over by younger ones and either become marginalized or tossed aside entirely, to make room for kids who are totally new to the program. I would ask where the loyalty to the veteran player is, who has given two years of their effort for the school, attended practices and games only to be discarded for younger kids that come to the school with a “rep.”  And that reputation, does not appear by accident. Some parents who volunteer  time to help run leagues or coach when their kids are ready to play, (as opposed to the many great ones with good intention),  have ulterior motives. They are playing the “game inside the game” and know that if they manipulate the system early on, for the benefit of their own child, they will have a smoother ride in high school.

At every level, we need to stop treating youth sports as a business and remember that they are beautiful developing children. We can either build them up through sports or tear them down. The choice is ours. But ultimately, people who abuse the system and manipulate it need to be held accountable. And  that rings especially true at the high school level, where bad coaching can remove a kid  from a sport forever. I have found that if some of these programs were run properly, there is enough room for almost everyone to play in their due time.

I would suggest that we all start speaking out about what affects so many of us. Let’s clean things up and give these future children a better chance at access to these programs, better than some of their older siblings have experienced. I continue to coach children because I want to be part of the change I’m asking for.

We can do much better than this.

Rob Hoffman

9 Brandywine Lane, Sandy Hook             September 19, 2014