The Multiuse Golf Course

To the Editor:

A golf course in Newtown would be a good thing for several reasons, and they are as follows:

All that nice new flat greenery would draw the ball field vandals to it and save our playing fields –– for the children. In fact, any scars created by vandals will simply be treated as a hazard and played through.

It’s a reality that golf courses are in fact huge tracts of open space where people, many people in fact, will actually walk several miles around, getting the exercise they would be getting if they used our existing extensive trail system.

On a golf course, unlike a natural meadow, people from the same town get to know one another, friendships can develop, relationships could flower.

Women can compete with and beat men. Girls can compete with and beat boys. Marxists can compete with and beat capitalists. Ideologies are left at home on a golf course. Why can’t we just get along? We can, we will, on our new golf course.

At certain locations on our golf course we would establish public garden plots. This would create an interesting co-mingling of cultures. The golfer and the gardener: What would they say to each other?

We could also create a bridle path that would wind its way through the golf course, and a bike path; a trail system for ATVs would be nice. We could establish a pavilion for seniors. They could practice swing or ballroom dancing. All this activity will take place under one roof. That of the golf dome. (Metaphorically speaking, of course).

Our golfers will develop an immunity to noise and distraction that will place them among the world’s best; their ability to concentrate and focus on the task at hand will be immense. In time, they will be able to read, comprehend, and explain the master plan for Fairfield Hills.

I envision a public clothesline at our new golf course. Come on down, hang your laundry out, play a round of golf, and by the time you’re done your clothes are dry. By doing this we will conserve energy, save the environment from dryer lint, and enlist the support of Ralph Nader and his Greens.

Our golf course will never need mowing or fertilizing, we will have the Governor and his Horse Guard at our disposal.

And finally, with tongue firmly removed from cheek, we should have a golf course because it is a public recreation, used by individuals, by families, by friends, by the very old and the very young. It is a space where one forgets the troubles of the day and focuses on the moment. A round of golf can be many different things to many different people, but almost all share the sweet memories of pleasant days spent in open sunshine with people they enjoy, and the anticipation of a better round next week.

James Swift

11 Cedarhurst Terrace, Sandy Hook                  September 3, 2003