Doggone Etiquette —

Meet & Greet

By Bardi McLennan

A Word to the Dog:

How you say “hello” is very important. It tells a lot about you, no matter who you’re greeting — neighbors, other dogs, or your owner. There are some forms of this ritual that are okay and others that your VIPerson will have to get you to change. No matter how badly you handle the social art of meeting others, it’s not entirely your fault. You may not have been taught the polite way when you were a puppy, but you can learn now. However, if you are nasty, aggressive, and bark or snarl when meeting people and/or dogs, you and your VIPeople have some major work ahead. That kind of behavior is simply not acceptable in an otherwise nice pet pooch, which of course you are.

A Word to the Dog’s Owner:

Dogs, just like the people who own them, vary a bit when it comes to social skills. A dog that joyously jumps all over his returning owner may be exactly the kind of greeting his owner wants. It does indicate a nice, friendly outgoing temperament which no one would want to change. However, that excessive exuberance needs to be toned down when Rufus meets and greets anyone other than yourself, or other dogs. To calm a jumping-jack personality takes good-natured teaching, not scolding, punishing, or heavy-handed correcting.

The simplest solution uses basic obedience training. Upon approaching a person or dog, you merely put Rioting-Rufus on a well-mannered SIT, or if needed, a Sit-Stay. Another way is to use a specific one-word command in combination with the saturation process. “Settle” might be a good word to use. If the dog confuses it with Sit, well, that gets the job done, too. Rufus should know “Off” means “get off the couch” and has nothing to do with his idea of saying a happy hello.

Practice (a lot) at home using the one word you’ve chosen then try “saturation” to speed up the learning process. With Rufus walking beside you on lead, have five or six friends or neighbors casually approach you one at a time with a few friendly words. Don’t give Rufus time to even think about it. Take charge! Say “Settle” firmly and as he obeys, quietly give him an approving “good dog.” He can be standing, wagging his tail to say hello, or sitting — just so long as he’s not making any attempt at a joyous attack. Let him save those for you.

Certain breeds are known to be somewhat aloof, but that’s not to say they are either shy or anti-social. The shy dog that backs away from a person or other dog, with tail down or tucked between his legs, may have had this reaction innocently imposed on him by the owner. Pulling the dog back close to you every time a person or dog approaches tells your dog there is something for him to fear, so he learns to hide. If the dog figures that his owner is afraid, he may go to the other extreme and do a speedy attack-and-retreat! (This is more apt to take place when meeting another dog.) Should your normally shy dog go into a barking frenzy when meeting other friendly outgoing dogs, don’t let it go. That behavior needs to be corrected via obedience — a stern “SIT” for starters — and proper socialization.

Either reaction needs understanding help. It generally means tolerating the shy dog, so long as his behavior does not extend beyond being bashful. Over time the shyness may improve. It’s a tough call because many shy dogs never really change, in part because it may be genetic, not necessarily a learned behavior. Dogs can be very social animals in puppy-training or other obedience classes, and still not handle one-on-one greetings.

Doesn’t all this begin to sound just like a discussion of various people you know? It’s why not every dog is right for every person, or home, or lifestyle. When you have the right one, you know it!

Until next time – BE GOOD!

- Bardi

Bardi McLennan bred, trained and showed Welsh Terriers for 30 years, during which time she wrote a monthly column on canine behavior in Dog Fancy Magazine. In addition to contributing to numerous dog publications, she has written 15 books on dogs, the latest being Rescue Me!, which received the ASPCA Humane Issues Award in 2008.