Date: Fri 18-Dec-1998

Publication: Bee

Author: CURT

Quick Words:

Mountain-impeachment

Full Text:

TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN

I am still waiting to be interviewed about my position on the impeachment of

President Clinton. I think just about every other two-bit commentator has

weighed in on the subject, so now it's my turn.

I think President Clinton should be allowed to remain in office, but he should

serve without the benefit of interns, personal secretaries, legal counsel,

speech writers, spokespersons, pollsters, and every other White House staffer

who does actual work.

The real problem here was that the President had too much time on his hands

and had to fill his idle hours with dalliances with Monica in the corridor

outside the Oval Office. Without his support staff, he would have to spend all

his time answering the phone, typing letters, writing his own speeches, and

directing visitors to the bathrooms. After a few days, he would be too tired

for any extra-curricular shenanigans. The cabinet members could all stay on to

run the country, the way they did when Reagan was president.

This plan would also afford us the benefit of not seeing Mr Clinton so much on

the news. Sam Donaldson would be reduced to standing in front of the White

House reporting that "The President is working late tonight trying to clear

the paper jam in the fax machine."

A far more reputable politician, US Congressman Jim Maloney (Fifth District)

showed up early for Chuck and Melissa Pilchard's annual Christmas party Sunday

afternoon. He was stopping by on his way to the airport for a trip back to

Washington. He may have also been trying to beat the crowd of politicians who

were due to arrive at the party soon after. Many of them surely wanted to put

in their two cents on the Clinton impeachment hearings proceedings in

Congress.

Rep Maloney was expected to vote on the presidential impeachment later this

week. He said he would be voting against impeachment, favoring instead some

kind of censure of the President. He said, however, he would seriously

consider my suggestion.

Two faculty members of the middle school showed their versatility at the

holiday concert of the Newtown Choral Society Saturday night. Led by middle

school choral director Jonathan Pope, the choir was accompanied by a bell

choir which included English teacher Chester Washburn and science teacher

Jennifer Neves.

Joanna Frances had a great day on Saturday. After spending all day in New York

City, she returned to her home on Schoolhouse Hill Road to learn that she had

been accepted at Haverford College -- her first choice -- and that she had a

new black and white puppy, an English springer spaniel and cocker mix.

Not everybody was having such good luck this week. Judi Richardson was leaving

The Bee at lunchtime on Wednesday and was overheard explaining, "I have to go

home and get my lunch now. I brought in a bowl of gravy by mistake."

Mason Contractors Nick and Gino Vona presented giant poinsettias to many of

the town agencies this week -- no doubt special thanks for the town's

assistance in their work on the Oak Ridge subdivision off Hattertown Road.

Thanks to the tender love and care provided by Ann Mazur, the finance

department's poinsettia from a year ago is still alive. That was also a gift

from the Vonas.

Anyone watching NBC-TV Monday night may have caught the subtle plug on

national television for Newtown author Steven Kellogg's newest book. In the

opening scene for the comedy "Mad About You," Paul Reiser's character was

sitting on the living room couch of his apartment, practicing reading out loud

for his infant daughter. And what was Mr Reiser reading? None other than

Steven Kellogg's latest, A-Hunting We Will Go .

We got a lot of comments from friends and acquaintances here at The Bee

following the newspaper's appearance on "Candid Camera" earlier this month. As

you remember, "Candid Camera" filmed unsuspecting customers buying an edition

of The Newtown Bee with no news in it. Well, we heard late last week from an

enterprising man in Spokane, Washington, who had seen the show and recognized

an opportunity. He wrote: "What's this -- a blank newspaper? To the rescue: my

free "holiday words" quiz to help fill up that white space."

Well, I think I've filled up enough white space for this week, but there's

plenty more news to tell, so be sure to...

Read me again.