By Lisa N. Peterson

The grand ballroom is quiet. The audience holds its collective breath. Handlers glide by in their beaded gowns or tuxedos with stunning dogs floating at the end of thin leads. The judge’s watchful eye locks onto his winner. He follows it around the ring. The handler glances back and catches the judge’s gaze. The judge points, the handler jumps, the dog leaps, the audience breaks into wild applause, hoots and screams.

Best in Show at the National Specialty has just been taken.

It is moments like these that breeders spend their entire life building towards. Two minutes of presentation and the following eternity waiting for the judge to make up his mind. Behind every pretty dog show photo lurks the lurid truth.

I recently attended the Norwegian Elkhound Association of America National Specialty Dog Show in Maryland at something called the “Holidome.” It was Holiday Inn’s attempt to make their ballroom more into a convention center rather than a big dining room. National specialties are usually held annually. The American Kennel Club sanctions such shows for all its recognized breeds.

Whether you are a pet owner of a purebred dog or a serious breeder and exhibitor, the national specialty is a must see for all who fancy their breed. There are hundreds of dogs from around country and beyond in addition to the parties, seminars, auctions, great shopping and lousy food. Who would miss the opportunity to be crammed into a single hotel room with four dogs and their crates, ex-pens, grooming boxes, food, luggage (mine and my dogs), coolers, water (more on that later) for seven fun-filled days. Your biggest challenge would be finding room on the desk for all the ribbons and trophies you were going to win.

So off we went in search of glory. Since my Honda Civic was lacking in space for the journey I rented a van. Now I’m one who usually likes to keep a low profile. But driving a big white van that said “RENT ME FROM ENTERPRISE” made us a rolling advertisement. I seriously considered changing my kennel name to Enterprise.

Traveling long distances with dogs is a tricky business. I had with me three bitches aged 14, five and one-years-old and an eight-year-old male. If life were perfect they would all have to relieve themselves at the same time. 

After we arrived at the “Holidome” it was time for my favorite activity -  “unloading.” The real trick is trying to determine what to bring with you. Of course, you bring everything. Including your own water. After unloading, you scope out the grounds to find the best place to walk your dogs. Let’s see, four dogs needing six walks daily to relieve boredom and maintain their exercise schedule. You can bet nothing stays new looking for long with nearly 300 dogs marking their turf.

 Trying to be good guests we are asked to participate in a turf cleaning. Hmm, four dogs adding two piles daily, for seven days is . . . ? How many baggies do I need to bring?

In fact, turf news became the hot topic of conversation at this year’s national. As breeders, we envision talking to top breeders, who are the guardians of the breed. We think we will search for insights and discoveries about how to breed the perfect dog.

Two breeders walk their dogs along dew-soaked grass one morning before sunrise.

“So how is Roxanne this morning?”

“Better, she is a little more firm but nothing like the fluidity of yesterday. And Josh?”

“He’s still having a bad time with the change over to hotel water. I think I have to buy more spring water.”

“Yea, I put all my dogs back on bottled water. I also had the hotel cook a big batch of rice. Do you know the best ratio of Pepto-Bismol to rice to return them to normalcy?”  

Such insights were learned at this year’s national. But the point of the exercise is the dog show.

 Aside from the regular classes to gain championship points or winning Best of Breed awards we come up with a bunch of non-regular classes to keep ourselves further amused and frustrated.

One is the brace class. Two dogs have to perform the same routines at the same time while looking like clones. These classes are for masochists. It is hard enough to train one “butthead,” as I affectionately call my elkhounds, but two? And those who want a special challenge enter the team class (four dogs at once). A wonderful memory I have one year was a male and female brace. Need I say more? Let’s just say they weren’t side by side after turning the corner. 

My favorite is the Veterans Sweepstakes. Not for dogs of foreign wars, but those over the age of seven. We make it a formal evening affair in the grand ballroom. Here lady handlers are decked out in beaded gowns, velvet pant suits, (they are brave with white furry dogs at their side) or gold lame outfits with matching shoes. Men don tuxedos. Even our judge got into the spirit of things in his sequined jacket that he wore at Westminster earlier this year. 

 A group of us had little headpieces made for our “grande dames” over the age of 14. One wore a tiara, an Elizabethan crown, and my Roxanne had a pair of Viking braids, reminiscent of that fat lady in the opera. In fact, Roxanne was so striking she landed a date with a rather handsome “Nordik” in his tuxedo. 

Did I mention the liver? In order to get our dogs looking spunky in the ring, we use little pieces of bait to grab their attention. I made four pounds of liver for the journey. My recipe is award winning. Boil it to the consistency of rubber, then baked it with garlic salt until it turns into leather. Then cut it into bite size bits. Yum yum! I usually put the liver in my pocket, but the beaded gown lacked them. So, I placed a wad in my cheek and took bits as needed. A fellow handler used her ample cleavage to hold the liver since her skin-tight gown lacked even seams. One dog I know won’t eat anything in the ring but the Colonel’s secret recipe for extra crispy chicken. Now where could you hide that?

A popular pastime between classes is shopping at the vendors. Since elkhounds hunt moose, we had a choice between elkhound and moose memorabilia. I trundled home with moose towels, moose candle stick holders, a video called “Norway Moose Hunt” (boring) and a moose dung key holder. Lucky me! 

Other highlights included a drink from Bermuda called a “dark and stormy” which I discovered on the party circuit. This drink helped me to sleep for the average of four hours per night. After a long week of showing, partying and making new friends who insisted they knew how to breed the perfect dog, I was ready to leave my room which smelled like a mixture of dog breath, carpet freshener and over-brewed coffee.

As I “loaded” (remember to unload first) all that stuff back into the van, along with a few ribbons and trophies, I was already making plans for the next national. That reminds me, I have to go check on my new litter of puppies.

Animal Lifestyles is contributed by Safe at Home, LLC, a Newtown-based pet sitting service. You can e-mail us at animallifestyles@usa.net.