Even As A Summer Movie, ‘MIB II’

Is A Major Disappointment

Don’t believe the hype. Don’t let the gaudy opening weekend numbers ($90 million over the five-day holiday weekend) fool you. Men in Black II is a major disappointment. Although the sizable chunk of change required to finance this sequel is more than enough to make Thurston Howell III blush, the ho-hum results of MIB II are likely to make moviegoers red with anger... or they would, if the film weren’t so blasé about everything. As it is, MIB II does not constitute any great offense against the art of film making, but it just may be the most weightless movie of the summer... and that’s saying something.

Director Barry Sonnenfeld returns to helm this sequel to his 1997 blockbuster, but this time the movie is missing the comic bite and zingy wit that so characterized the first film. It also hurts that such edgy talents as Vincent D’Onofrio and Linda Fiorentino have been replaced with the likes of Lara Flynn Boyle and Johnny Knoxville. But enough of what MIB II lacks. The story picks up years after the first installment and gives us a now stolid Agent Jay (Smith), picking up the deadpan, Sgt Friday delivery of his predecessor, Kay (Jones), as he battles covert extra-terrestrials as if he were fighting crime at the corner 7-11. Now paired with the emotionally unstable Agent Tee (Patrick Warburton), Kay finds himself wistful for the days when he was full of vim and vigor and used to look up at the stars with awe and optimism instead of the more jaded, cool glance he now casts. His icy demeanor begins to defrost however when he meets a comely pizza waitress (Rosario Dawson) who has witnessed a crime of unearthly nature. Meanwhile, a nasty, multi-tentacled alien (Boyle) has arrived, taken the curvy shape of a Victoria’s Secret model, and has decided to destroy the earth unless she obtains a mysterious prize known only to the neuralized Kay, now a mild-mannered postal worker in New England.

Certainly, there’s enough going on in MIB II to keep moviegoers amused. Frank the Pug returns, complete with his Brooklynese banter, and temporarily teams with Kay for some funny moments. The crowd-pleasing coffee klatch worms also get more screen time. Most importantly, Jones and Smith still work magic together and their chemistry seems almost effortless. But alas, that’s also the big problem with MIB II. Everything about it comes across as effortless.

The tagline for the film boasts, “Coming To Rid Your Earth of the Scum of the Universe... Again,” and that “again” unfortunately captures the sense this sequel gives throughout its very brief running time. The screenwriters, Robert (Galaxy Quest) Gordon and Barry (The Crew) Fanaro, come up with some decent ideas, but nothing is ever fleshed out. Early in the film we’re given Jay’s emotional dilemna, but before it really goes anywhere, he’s off to Massachusetts to find his old partner. Once there, we get a funny scene of Kay as a mailman, but again, in about five minutes, the joke is over. At only 88 minutes (TV movies minus their commercials are longer!), Sonnenfeld and crew seem worried about overstaying their welcome, but perhaps they should have realized that after five years we might have tolerated some re-introductory stuff. To make matters worse (or, perhaps more to the point, to make the movie matter less), unlike the first film, which balanced the laughs with some genuine surprises, this go-around lacks any true jeopardy or wonder whatsoever. Granted, the original Men in Black benefited from having Smith’s character as the audience surrogate, experiencing these alien wonders for the first time. But here, since we have no one looking upon the proceedings with wide eyes, the film really could have used some sense of danger or suspense to the supposed new threat to the planet. But apparently Sonnenfeld and co. couldn’t put forth the effort.

MIB II is rated PG-13 for mild profanity and sci-fi action violence. By no means is it a debacle the likes of Batman & Robin, but with talent like this, you expect much more from a 4th of July blockbuster.