Disability Related Etiquette:

Common Sense And Common Courtesy

On a day-to-day basis, most people may ask the questions, “How are you?” or “How are you doing?” many times a day and yet, be reluctant to ask a friend, co-worker, even a stranger with a disability this very same, simple question.

“What most people miss in their reactions is they aren’t really reacting to the disabled person but the disability,” said Bruce Kutner, a certified mobility consultant and instructor. “A shift of attention from the disability to the person makes a world of difference.”

“People tend to project their own feelings and sometimes lack of knowledge onto the person with the disability,” he said. It’s really our fear of limitations that creates this nervousness and leads to misunderstandings.”

Mr Kutner bases his remarks on 12 years of experience in the mobility and home medical supply business. He is the owner of Wheelchair Getaways of Bethel and a member of the National Mobility Equipment Dealers Association (NMEDA), an internationally recognized association committed to ensuring the quality manufacture and installation of safe and reliable mobility equipment for people with disabilities.

As reported by Census 2000, nearly one in five people in the United States live with a disability. According to the Americans with Disabilities Act, a “disability” is an impairment that substantially reduces one or more major life activities. With stats like these most people have worked with or at least interacted with a person with a disability at one time or another.

Mr Kutner feels that more people need to know the basics of disability-related etiquette, which can be something as simple as appropriate terminology. For instance, when speaking of a person with a disability it is best to avoid negatively charged terms such as “He is afflicted with polio” or “He is a victim of polio”; instead just say, “He has polio.”

Emphasize abilities by “stressing the positive,” he continued. When speaking of someone with a disability say, “He uses a wheelchair” as opposed to “He is confined to a wheelchair.”

“Try not to watch your every word or action the key is to be as natural as you can. If you normally say ‘let’s take a walk’ don’t change it to ‘roll’ or ‘wheel’ because you make the person who uses a wheelchair feel their disability is at the forefront of your mind. It’s also good practice to also avoid ‘labeling’ an individual or group with references such as ‘the deaf’ or ‘the disabled.’”

Mr Kutner explains people with disabilities just want to be looked at as individuals — not as their disease or condition — and like everyone else, they want to be treated with respect and dignity. It is important to respect things like spatial boundaries and “never,” he says, “lean on a person’s wheelchair. It is part of their personal space.”

Another example is shaking hands, a common practice when first meeting a person and often seen as a sign of respect. “Don’t assume that because a person uses a prosthesis, he or she doesn’t shake hands,” Mr Kutner said. “Touching someone gently on the shoulder in greeting is also acceptable.”

In Mr Kutner’s view, another common mistake is assuming disabled individuals want or need help.

“If you are unsure, ask. Wait until the offer is accepted and always, always be sure to ask for their instructions,” he said. “Try to visualize things through the eyes and hearts of those with whom you wish to communicate...try to accept points of view other than your own. It’s important to remember that people with disabilities have the same hopes as the able bodied and have enormous desire for personal freedom. By building relationships based on respect, common sense, and common courtesy, you can help others become more free and independent.”

Wheelchair Getaways sells, rents, and services wheelchair accessible vehicles, provides adaptive equipment, and installs wheelchair and scooter lifts for vans as well as ramps and lifts for the home. It is at 32 Stony Hill Road in Bethel. For more information contact Wheelchair Getaways at 800-228-0185 or at www.wheelchairgetaways.com.