A Parent’s Perspective

To the Editor:

This is in response to the column by Kim Harmon entitled “Too Much Parental Involvement” in the sports section of the June 2 issue of The Newtown Bee. I understand Mr Harmon’s frustration, and as a parent of one of the players on the softball team at NHS, I also understand the parents’ perspective.

When issues are brought to a coach in private conversation by phone or in meetings, it is not appropriate for that information to somehow end up as public information. How would Mr Harmon know how many phone calls, emails, or conversations parents have had with the coach and what those confidential discussions concerned? Mr Harmon does not have all of the facts.

The parents have been vocal spectators, but we know what the boundaries are, and our kids remind us if we cross them. Mr Harmon’s suggestion that if we are unhappy with the way a coach handles a player, we should just pull our kids out and go somewhere else, is most outrageous. If a coach is not happy in his position then maybe he should step down. Is this a fair comparison? In addition, we have not relinquished any “right” at all regarding our children just because we disagree with a coach unless we sign custody over to him. We expect and insist that our players be treated respectfully.

I take issue with the suggestion that any of the girls on the team fit the profile of student athletes with “deplorable” attitudes that need benching, and that, as a result of parent involvement. Every young lady on that softball team has shown sportsmanship, talent, hard work, maturity, and respect for their coach and teammates. I would be appalled if the coach did not have the same opinion of the players he picked.

The final comment Mr Harmon insultingly makes about whether or not we care as much about our young peoples’ education is incredulous. I am certain that most if not all of them excel in their academics in one way or another. That does not happen magically. Perhaps it was not the most comfortable season on the bleachers, bench, or on the field. It was exciting, and worth the watch. Let’s keep it in perspective so that we can move on to next season.

Congratulations to the team for beating Laurelton Hall, but more importantly, for putting their teammates first and not their batting averages and their win/loss record. They won a lot more than games this season. They gained the respect of their opponents and they won back their self-respect because they fought hard and stuck together. This is the definition of team. They are exemplary in their sportsmanship and talent. This is the ideal of what high school sports should demonstrate. Remember the saying that “the apple does not fall far from the tree?” Congrats to the parents who have raised such terrific young women.

Joan Moreno

1 Cherry Heights, Sandy Hook                                    June 6, 2005