Coaching For

The Right Reasons

To the Editor:

I have also coached my children’s teams for many years in Newtown, in many sports. Although I do not know Mr Moulder [“The Game Is For Kids,” Letter Hive, 5/28/10], I suspect that he is a fine example of what a parent would hope for in a coach. Just by demonstrating the courage to speak to this situation, it shows that he “gets it.” Sadly, even though there are many great volunteers in all leagues, there are also some who should no longer be in their position.

They seem to have motives other than the only one that counts, mentoring and teaching the players, in a fair and even-handed fashion for every kid, regardless of whether or not their child is one of them.

We are not alone. The more people I’ve spoken to from other towns, I’ve come to find that it appears to be endemic to sports.

There always seems to be that coach who favors their own kid with playing time over other children only to make sure they get in the paper weekly and promoted like some kind of prima donna athlete. Or that director who has done the job way too long and refuses to consider any other idea, because they “have” to be right. After all, they’ve done it so long.

Some people do things wrong for a very long time.

I suggest as a potential solution, that we institute term limits for some of the top positions. I know what some will say, the reason that these people still hold these spots is that no one else wants to step up. The main reason good people are reluctant to “step up” is exactly why some changes are needed. They feel they will be running up against a brick wall, with the kind of “cronyism and behind the scenes politics” Mr Moulder aptly refers to. It tends to chase away change and new ideas.

It’s a funny thing; the finest coach I have worked with, the one who exemplifies the kind of person you want coaching your kid, has no children playing. I would suspect he continues for the exact reasons Mr Moulder states: “Teaching the value of hard work, competition, the thrill of victory and the growth that comes in losing with dignity.”

I too get disheartened, but I try very hard to keep focusing on the fact that most of the people I have coached with have been great examples of what we need. I have had more positive experiences than not. I still find it very enriching to be part of the process of coaching. Every time I run up against one of the situations Mr Moulder is speaking of ... I try and focus on one of those faces beaming with pride just after they’ve hit the ball into the outfield or made that shot right before the buzzer, and I remember once again, why I still do it. I have a suspicion that the best coaches feel they get as much out of their jobs, as they give to the kids.

Rob Hoffman

9 Brandywine Lane, Sandy Hook                                     June 1, 2010