Chaplaincy At The Lutheran Home Of Southbury: Recreation And Re-Creation

By The Reverend Leo McIlrath

When I was a young man growing up in Danbury, I was told, both by family and parochial school teachers, that it wasn’t right to go into churches other than of my own persuasion, i.e., the Roman Catholic Church. And believe it or not, I didn’t, that is, except when I was attending an educational or social activity or was playing a basketball game on their respective courts. Most of my friends abided with this guideline.

 Only once a year did large numbers of kids from the Baptist, Methodist, Pentecostal, AME Zion, Disciples, Lutheran, Congregational, Episcopal, and other local congregations gather in front of St Peter Catholic Church and file in as members of the Frank H. Lee Memorial Youth Club. This united body participated annually, into the late 1950s, in a Memorial Mass in honor of its founder.

Over the next several years, people began to attend religious services, together, in one another’s churches. Vatican Council II, led by the inspiring figure Pope John XXIII, opened up tightly closed windows and let in the Spirit of a new Pentecost. Christians addressed each other in more civil terms and looked for opportunities to work, study, play, and yes, finally, to pray together. Christians also began to reach outward beyond their Christ-centered borders, to their neighbors who espoused Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and a host of faith communities worshipping the one, true God.

All of these events, accompanied by a number of years working alongside my brother and sisters in ministry, in North Carolina, fostered a spirit of ecumenism in each one of us. We began to preach at each others’ churches and to serve the greater community, together. This period embraced the late sixties and early seventies. And “the Spirit was a movin’!”

Fast forward to 2007. Since then I have served as ecumenical chaplain and director of Pastoral Care for the Lutheran Home of Southbury, where I am blessed with a congregation of people, many of whom are inflicted with Alzheimer’s disease or one of the other dementias.

It is a faith-filled group of people who know how to celebrate Eucharist, the Lord’s Supper, Mass, the Divine Liturgies and services of the Word. They signify a true spiritual community, People of God, the “Body of Christ,” as proclaimed by Saint Paul. And they often choose to do this together. Unity in diversity exemplified!

This congregation of 120 residents includes a number of diverse Christian communions including members of the Protestant, Roman Catholic, and Orthodox traditions. Leaders of their respective communities are encouraged by the chaplain’s office to minister to the needs of their people and to celebrate worship services and sacramental rites with them. Several rabbis, likewise, minister to the Jewish residents, especially on the High Holy Days of their calendar. A similar invitation is made to the religious and lay leaders representing each resident.

“Re-creation,” to this chaplain, includes any number of personal and communal services, including counseling and spiritual direction, weekly bible studies, and reflections on spiritual themes such as giving and forgiving, love and compassion, hope and consolation, faith and fidelity and steadfast patience. These discussions help residents to focus on virtues that fashion their daily lives.

Participants bring their own personal thoughts to these gatherings and they share them generously. Residents, though they are well-founded and content with their personal faith-journey, are open to learn about others who think and believe differently from themselves. Many are enamored by a special series entitled “The Religions of the World.” This appears to broaden their own world view and outlook on life and they do this in a gentle and nonthreatening way.

Pastoral care at LHS also includes one-on-one counseling and personal chats. Each resident is visited on a timely basis even when a resident cannot verbally communicate with the chaplain.

Memorial services for residents who have died during a particular month are celebrated and family members and staff are invited to address the community, sharing personal thoughts and experiences about their loved ones. Grief counseling, when requested, is extended to the family members of residents and to staff personnel.

The Lutheran Home of Southbury is a faith community where people work, play, learn, pray, and continue to grow together as family. In this chaplain’s mind, it is a microcosm of what I hope all faith communities will one day be.

The Reverend Leo McIlrath is ecumenical chaplain to the Lutheran Home of Southbury. A Sandy Hook resident for more than 25 years, Rev McIlrath was ordained into the Roman Catholic Diocese of Raleigh, N.C., in May 1966. Since 1980, Rev McIlrath has served as a member of Corpus Christi, what he describes as a “community” of faith. He has been a coordinator for the ministerial faith community since 1995.

He is also program producer and host of Unity In Diversity, a cable television program that features leaders and representatives of various religious communities in the local area.