Little Things Bring Great Happiness

By Nancy K. Crevier

What brings the most happiness into people’s lives? As children, we dream of mansions, wallowing Richie Rich-like in piles of money, or super powers — or at least the powers to make it possible for us to do whatever our parents are not permitting at the time. That would make us happy; especially the piles of money, we are sure.

Martin Seligman, founder of the positive psychology movement in the 1990s, has reassessed his position that rather than focusing on problems, psychologists and the public at large ought to focus on happy moments, according to a New York Times May 20 article. As he studied happiness, Dr Seligman noticed that things that supposedly made people happy were being undertaken even when not providing satisfaction; hardly a pursuit of happiness.

What does make people satisfied, according to Dr Seligman, is a feeling of “flourishing,” in which feeling good is married with “good relationships and accomplishment.”

Sonja Lybulomirsky, writing in the August 10, 2010, issue of Scientific American article “Can Money Buy Happiness?,” believes that yes, money can buy happiness. That is, if the money is spent in particular ways. Having lots of money to spend on activities that help one grow as a person; on experiences, rather than material possessions; on small pleasures, not big items; or on a hard-won “splurge,” actually can make people feel happy, Ms Lybulomirsky suggested.

Her belief that it is experiences and seemingly insignificant items that bring true joy, not the money itself, and Dr Seligman’s supposition that relationships and accomplishments make people feel good, seem to jibe with what I have found in interviewing people for the “Snapshot” column, for The Newtown Bee.

“Snapshot” is a brief profile of local people that appears weekly in the paper. Most of the questions are static from week to week, month to month, and year to year: What do you do for an occupation? Who are your family members? Do you have pets? What is your personal philosophy?

A few of the questions are changed up, depending on the interview. One of the questions I throw out on occasion is, “What makes you laugh?” Another is, “What makes you happiest?”

What makes people laugh is quite a different question, with a very different response than that of “What makes you happiest.” People are tickled by comedians, funny videos, hilarious movies, and good jokes. They like to chuckle over pets’ antics and silly slip-ups. What elicits a hearty “Ho, ho, ho,” for some is the sound of other people laughing, because laughter is contagious. People like to laugh, and laughing does make people happy.

Interestingly, the answers to “What makes you happiest?” has yet to bring forth the answer of “My fat bank account,” or “My expansive property acquisitions,” or even, “My Lamborghini,” or “My private jet.”

It is not things that makes the people I have interviewed happiest, but rather places, moments, and other people. It is not even other people doing things for them that make them feel good. Just being in the presence of certain people can bring a feeling of contentment and joy.

“Doing something we all enjoy, something exciting or just cuddling, sitting with them, or playing a game together,” makes one person happiest.

“My family is everything,” says another, finding true happiness when the entire clan is gathered together.

Children and grandchildren bring joy. “I love spending time with the grandkids. I love to watch the little ones and the little things they do,” said a proud grandfather, echoed by another who is happiest when he knows that his family is living well and comfortably. “Spending time with them makes me happiest,” he said.

When the family is all together, “Feeling that connection makes me happiest,” another Snapshot interviewee told me.

Over and over again, I hear that “family and friends close by,” whether involved in high adventure or lolling in the backyard, gives people a sense of happiness. “If you have a bad day,” one pointed out, “your family is still happy to see you. Especially, the dog.”

Happiness can be found for others in appreciation of the world around, or even the world within.

“A day in the woods, alone,” commented one person interviewed. “Being in the woods, you see the bigger picture,” he said, and puts him in a meditative state.

“I enjoy walking through the forest and seeing the play of colors with the sky, and the different colors and textures around me. That makes me happy inside,” commented another.

Quiet time that allows for reflection can bring happiness to life. “When I feel most at peace with myself,” responded one person to my question of what made her happiest. “Then I’m able to spread that around to my husband, kids, and friends. Then I can be my best for them,” she said.

Another responded, “It’s the little things in life that make me happiest. Knowing that I’m going to be fine, no matter what,” she said, and noted that dabbling in new experiences also made her happy.

It is the ability to find comedy in even the most challenging moments of life, is another response I heard. The ability to laugh at oneself and find the silver lining behind the cloud can bring happiness, as can the sense of unity with a bigger collective. “What makes me happiest? When the Red Sox win, and when the Red Sox beat the Yankees,” declared one person, and vice-versa, according to another.

Time well spent with family and friends, and reveling in the wonders of nature, brings solace. Others are happiest when reaching out to others, through teaching, volunteer work, or rescue operations.

They are simple answers to a complex question. What makes one happy at one stage in life may not be as fulfilling somewhere else along the way. “Snapshot” is just one photograph in the family album of our town, and Newtown is just a little snapshot of the world.

Still, the people I interview come from different places and experiences, and are of different ages. What I see is that happiness is not a commodity. Happiness is a place inside, and people outside, and a simple pleasure derived from simple appreciation.

Life is, as songwriter Stephen Sondheim wrote, happiness indeed.