Study Shows Reality For Mothers

Is Different Than What Is Believed

York, N.Y. — The findings of a groundbreaking UConn study of mothers’ beliefs and concerns paint a picture in sharp contrast to the portrait of US mothers in much of the current public dialogue.

Instead of emphasizing the stresses and strains of motherhood and divisions among mothers, the findings reveal that — regardless of background or life circumstances — mothers across the United States have a great deal in common and derive deep satisfaction from motherhood, even as they worry about the impact of American culture on their children.

The study was designed by a 12-member team of social science researchers convened by the Mother’s Council and Motherhood Project, based at the Institute for American Values, and was implemented in partnership with the University of Minnesota and the University of Connecticut. In January and February of this year staff at Connecticut’s Center for Survey Research and Analysis surveyed more than 2,000 mothers of children under the age of 18 to ask what they think and feel about mothering.

The sample was representative of the diverse population of adult mothers across the United States in terms of income, education, age, race, ethnicity, marital status, and employment. Both to assist in the initial design of the survey and, later, to complement the quantitative findings from the survey, the team also conducted in-depth interviews and focus groups with a wide range of mothers to learn more about their experiences and concerns.

Findings of The Motherhood Study point to three issues as particularly salient for mothers and ripe for immediate action: reducing family violence and promoting healthy marriages; improving the financial security of mothers; and enabling mothers to spend more time with their children and on personal and family relationships. Regardless of their current employment status, a majority of mothers said they want to be employed, but in positions that demand less time away from their children and other important relationships.

“Although motherhood long has been the subject of academic and popular writing and discussion, the voices of mothers from different walks of life have been noticeably missing from the national conversation,” said Martha Farrell Erickson, PhD, the study’s principal investigator and a senior fellow with the University of Minnesota’s Children, Youth & Family Consortium. “The Motherhood Study aimed to change that by going directly to mothers across the United States and hearing what they had to say about their attitudes, values, concerns and needs.”

Key findings include:

In contrast to much of the popular discourse that typically emphasizes the stress and strain of motherhood, mothers reported strikingly high levels of satisfaction — both with their overall lives as mothers (with 97 percent saying they are “very” or “somewhat” satisfied) and with more specific aspects of their lives, including the emotional support they receive, the responsibility they have for childrearing, and the childcare arrangements they use.

Mothers feel passionately about their children and about mothering, which they see as unique and extraordinarily important work. Nearly all mothers surveyed (93) said “the love they feel for their children is unlike any love they have ever experienced.” Most mothers (nearly 81 percent) also said mothering is the most important thing they do.

Despite high levels of satisfaction and powerful feelings about the importance of what they do, mothers do not necessarily feel that others in society appreciate them, value them, or attend to their needs. Fewer than half of the mothers surveyed (48 percent) reported feeling appreciated most or all of the time, and 19 percent said they felt less valued by society since becoming mothers. Additionally, more than half of the mothers surveyed said society is not doing a good job of meeting the needs of mothers, children, or families.

Respondents have primary responsibility for the day-to-day upbringing of children, with nearly 44 percent saying they alone have primary responsibility for their children’s upbringing and another 49 percent saying they share this responsibility with their spouse or partner. Of those who share responsibility with someone, 66 percent reported that they provide more than half of the daily care.

While women in today’s society are waiting longer to get married and increasingly raising children by themselves, the survey found that marriage is associated with a range of positive outcomes for mothers, including economic status and satisfaction with life as a mother. For example, about 16 percent of married mothers reported annual family incomes less than $40,000, compared to 35 percent of mothers living with a partner and 73 percent of mothers who were unmarried and not living with a partner. Eighty-eight percent of married mothers said they were very satisfied with their lives as mothers, compared to 80 percent of cohabiting mothers and 62 percent of single mothers. The study also showed that 81 percent of married mothers said they are “very” satisfied with their relationships with their spouses.

Mothers want more time to spend on personal and family relationships, with nearly 61 percent “strongly” agreeing and 22 percent “somewhat” agreeing with that statement.

There is a striking gap between mothers’ current work status and their ideal work arrangement. While more than 41 percent of those surveyed are currently employed full-time, only 16 percent across the entire sample said they would prefer full-time work if choosing their ideal. This is not to say they do not want to work at all — one third said they would prefer to work part-time and close to another 30 percent said they would prefer to work for pay from home.

The report found no significant evidence to support what the media sometimes refer to as “mommy wars,” supposed tensions between mothers who are employed in the workforce and mothers who are not. Beliefs, feelings, and concerns were strikingly similar regardless of mothers’ employment status.

Mothers seem to hold values that differ in significant ways from those of the larger culture. Ninety-five percent agreed that they wish American culture made it easier to instill positive values in children, naming the media, advertising, and their view that “money has too much control over our lives,” as major factors hindering their efforts.

When asked to name their single biggest concern for their children, mothers most often cited education or safety and security, followed by drugs and drinking. Education was more likely to be named the number one concern for children among African American and mothers of Hispanic origin, as well as those who are unmarried, have lower incomes, and fewer years of education.

When asked about their single biggest concern for themselves, mothers most often named finances, health care, or safety. Mothers with lower incomes, unmarried mothers, and African American mothers were more likely than others to cite financial issues as their top concerns for themselves.

Presented with a list of possible changes to make life better for mothers and children, respondents most often indicated as high priorities: reducing all forms of family violence (94 percent), promoting healthy marriages (86 percent), and enabling mothers to spend more time with their children (86 percent).

Mothers strongly endorsed the idea of parents uniting to reduce the negative influences on children. Nearly 99 percent of respondents agreed (more than 88 percent “strongly”) they would like to see more mothers and fathers working together to reduce the negative influences on children in American society.

The Motherhood Study is available online (as a pdf file) at www.MotherhoodProject.org.