Workshop Aimed At

Boosting Self- Esteem

By Kendra Bobowick

Who are you? Who do you want to be?

Women’s Center of Greater Danbury Director of Education Melanie Danyliw talks about an upcoming workshop to help women find the answers through building self-esteem. The workshop — Self-Esteem For Women — will begin May 9 and run for seven Wednesdays from 10 am to noon at the center. Registration is now open.

“The workshop is about peeling off layers, stripping layers away, and finding out who you are. The workshop spends a lot of time stripping away messages that prevent us from realizing our true values,” she said.

The workshop can be beneficial to people coming from a variety of circumstances. Factors fighting to undermine a strong sense of self can come from society, friends, family, children, and worst of all, from within.

She said, “Someone could have a problem with confidence in themselves or a relationship; you were treated badly, or you think you deserve it, or your kids treat you badly; at work, you’re afraid of not getting advancements and you have self-doubts.” People are often hard on themselves and are their own worst enemies, she said. Additional hurdles come from society.

“We get so many messages that skew individuals’ beliefs about who we are and who we should be,” she said. Men and women have contrasting perceptions, for example, and she sees the evidence in the infrequent number of times men have signed up for the workshop. Men rarely apply, she said. “They are taught that when they are successful it’s an indication of their own abilities, and women see it as a matter of luck. Men see failures as other people’s [fault] and women see it as a reflection of themselves.”

Ms Danyliw said these “unhealthy” assessments may come from other people, from those close to us, “and all work against you — you doubt yourself,” she said.

The first several weeks of workshop sessions help identify a woman’s standards for identifying herself, Ms Danyliw explained. “Next, we determine what you want and work on skills,” she said.

Work focuses on assertiveness training, conflict resolution, goal setting, reaching goals, identifying barriers, overcoming barriers, overcoming self-doubt, skill building, but most of all, cutting through the messages and self-perception holding a person back from success at work, confidence, and happiness, for example.

A positive self-image “allows us to become what we should become,” she said. Coming straight to the point of self-esteem, she said, “It’s how you feel about yourself — the more positive you feel, the more worthwhile; you can identify goals and make decisions and assert yourself.”

Why? “So you can assess your needs and live a real life,” Ms Danyliw said. She also hopes to put prospective participants’ fears at ease.

“A lot of people are afraid to come. They think we’re going to force them to re-create who they are, but instead it’s discovering who you are.”

The Women’s Center of Greater Danbury provides free and confidential services to prevent or lessen the trauma associated with domestic violence, sexual assault, and other major life transitions to women, children, and men annually. The Women’s Center programs are supported by state and local government, area United Way agencies, and the communities served including Bethel, Bridgewater, Brookfield, Danbury, Kent, New Fairfield, New Milford, Newtown, Redding, Ridgefield, Roxbury, Sherman, Warren, and Washington.

Find the Women’s Center online at www.womenscenterofgreaterdanbury.org. Call the center at 731-5200.