Volunteering Outside The Comfort Zone Reaps Rewards For A Newtown Mom

By Nancy K. Crevier

Kristin Kemsley knows that it is possible to reach far outside of the comfort zone to help others, and she wants others to know that it is possible, too. The Newtown mother of nine children between the ages of 5 and 27 returned in March from a month in Santiniketan, India, north of Calcutta. She and her sister volunteered in a preschool and in the outlying villages, teaching teachers, teaching children, and reaching out to the very neediest people. The trip was not her first, nor does she expect it to be her last.

Ms Kemsley and her two daughters, Kara, 27, and Tamara, 19, joined with the charitable group Eye to Eye in February 2007 for their first trip to India. “I had wanted to do some sort of volunteer work for a long time. My husband, Deen, was very supportive and helped me search the web. Eye to Eye described a chance to work with small children in a village in India,” she said. Trained as a labor and delivery nurse, and as a longtime volunteer in local schools, she knew that she enjoyed working with children. “I’ve taught Lamaze classes, I’ve worked in schools as a volunteer, I’ve taught Joy School, which is a preschool curriculum in the home with other mothers, and I have a lot of experience as a mother,” said Ms Kemsley. “I can teach and teach the teachers, even though I am not a trained teacher, either,” she said.

She understands that the prospect of going to an undeveloped area with an unfamiliar language and a very different government and culture can be unnerving. “Initially, I was overwhelmed. I’ve been to Israel, Egypt, Jordan, Thailand, Europe, but by far [going to India] was the most foreign experience I have had,” she said.

Between air travel and travel by bus, the trip to their destination took 36 hours. “What I saw on that trip would have been worth the trip so far as opening my eyes to another part of the world and how people live,” said Ms Kemsley. The extent of the poverty, the contrasts between the haves and the have nots, and modern conveniences juxtaposed against traditional ways was beyond what she had imagined. “You would see people with cellphones walking past half-naked men and people laying on the sidewalks outside of a modern Citibank, or bicycles carrying huge loads and a motorcycle going by next to them. And the infrastructure there is so limited,” she said. The heat, the unhygienic conditions, water that was not potable, and lack of basic health knowledge astounded her.

She and her daughters had anticipated assisting with preschool age children while the parents were working in the fields, but she and Tamara ended up in the neighboring village of Kendradugal actually planning and teaching a preschool program for 70 children. There was a huge learning curve. “The children did speak a little English and the other local volunteers spoke a little bit more, so we managed to get by. And as we taught the children, they taught us the colors and shapes and some of the language in Bengali,” she recalled.

In Kendradugal, the school is primitive and supplies are limited. “Some of us would sit on the porch of a men’s meeting house, but the rest of the children would have to sit on a tarp on the ground, or right on the dirt.”

Transportation from the humble unit in which they were housed was by bicycle, cooking was done on a one-burner propane stove, laundry was done in a bucket, and showers were taken by dumping a pail of soapy water over yourself, followed by a rinse with another pail of water, she said. It was a far cry from the daily showers taken for granted back home.

Her nursing background made her a valuable asset to the director of the Eye to Eye organization, whom Ms Kemsley accompanied as an assistant on nutritional education and women’s issues. Even simple hygiene practices such as washing the hands and trimming the nails had to be taught in some instances.

 Meanwhile, Kara, who is an accountant, remained in Santiniketan, where she taught math and in-serviced teachers at the privately funded primary level Antarangu School. Ms Kemsley and Kara got an inside look at the Calcutta hospital when three days into the trip Kara spiked a very high fever that would not leave. “It was, again, eye-opening and very interesting to see how a hospital there functions,” said Ms Kemsley. It was determined that the fever was of a viral nature, and even though Kara had the option of returning to the United States, said Ms Kemsley, already her daughter felt that what she could contribute was important enough that she decided to stick it out, slowly recovering.

Nonetheless, it was a good experience. “There are so many opportunities to volunteer, to do something. Everyone has their own talent and when you volunteer, the people are so grateful, so wonderful to work with,” said Ms Kemsley.

A Return Trip

There was no doubt in her mind that she would return, and this past February her husband once again took over the running of their household so that she could spend a month volunteering.

“Our goal last year was to try to model something the teachers could continue with after we left, and I was so pleased to see when I returned that some of the volunteers had done so,” said Ms Kemsley.

This year, she made her own arrangements through the director of the Antarangu School. “I felt more confident, but still a little nervous, wondering if someone would pick us up at the airport, where we would stay, what we would do. But the director helped a lot and everything was fine. I felt I really had to go back, and I couldn’t afford to do it through Eye to Eye, which is a for-profit agency that arranges these trips,” she said.

It was the connections that she had made the year before that pushed her to once again to trade the comforts of home for the unsettled lifestyle in Santiniketan. “Children are honest and you can develop a relationship with them. I became quite attached to the children and the people we worked with, and they would ask if we were coming back,” she said. The true impetus, however, was a promise she had made to a woman in Kendradugal. The woman, like herself, was a first-time grandmother, and as Ms Kemsley demonstrated the care for the daughter’s new baby, the two women forged a bond that reached across cultures, caste, and countries. “I promised her I would go back, so I did,” said Ms Kemsley.

She spent her time once again offering guidance to the teachers, sharing her knowledge of teaching children, and providing health support to villagers. If anything, the experience of helping others was even more meaningful the second time around, she said.

Her sacrifices made to travel to India are small beside those that the natives of that area endure, she feels. “It is a big sacrifice for the children to come to school there, because then they aren’t at home helping with chores and child care. But the parents do realize that with education it gives their children a chance for a better life,” said Ms Kemsley. There is great reward in helping the families as they attempt to better their lives.

“What I have learned is that you don’t have to have money to be happy. The people I work with there joke, they have a sense of community and caring for one another, and they are happy with what little they have. Would they like more? Absolutely. But they do what they can with what they have. It is an amazing place,” Ms Kemsley said.

Back home, it takes time to reacclimate to the life of plenty. “The first time, it took me three weeks to get used to it all. I walked in the grocery store and just stared at the abundance and what there was, and I actually couldn’t do much. I would lie down in my bed and think I had gone to heaven; there was no mosquito netting around me, there were no lizards crawling over the walls. I have water I can drink and I marveled at how big our house is — the villagers would truly think it was a palace,” she said. She is more appreciative of all that she has, and it only increases her desire to do more to help those with so much less.

“I would like to find a way to raise funds for the school in Santiniketan. They need everything — supplies, a new building, computers, pay for the teachers, and all of the tools that make a school run,” she said, although she has not yet determined how she will do so.

In the meantime, she is collecting paperback picture books to ship to the school. Simple, colorful books that reach across cultures are most desirable. Contact Kristin Kemsley at momkems@yahoo.com to arrange a drop off of books.

She and her husband are already arranging for her to take time away from the family again next winter to travel for the third time to Santiniketan.

“I realize you have to reach a point in your life where you are ready to [volunteer]. There is a time and a season for everything, but everyone had their own talent and opportunities to share, to volunteer. Just start,” she urged. “You can’t serve others and not be happy.”