Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.

—Herman Wouk

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don’t know when it’s through if you are a crook or a martyr.    —Will Rogers

The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government.

 —Barry Goldwater

Question: “I understand that Congress is considering a so-called ‘flat’ tax system. How would this work?” Answer: “If Congress were to pass a ‘flat’ tax, you’d simply pay a fixed percentage of your income, and you wouldn’t have to fill out any complicated forms, and there would be no loopholes for politically connected groups, and normal people would actually understand the tax laws, and giant talking broccoli stalks would come around and mow your lawn for free, because Congress is not going to pass a flat tax, you pathetic fool.”

—Dave Barry

Taxes grow without rain.

 —Jewish Proverb

You must pay taxes. But there’s no law that says you gotta leave a tip.

 —Morgan Stanley advertisement

If the Lord loveth a cheerful giver, how he must hate the taxpayer!    —John Andrew Holmes

I like to pay taxes. With them I buy civilization.

 —Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr

The nation should have a tax system that looks like someone designed it on purpose.

 —William Simon

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

 —Peg Bracken

What at first was plunder assumed the softer name of revenue.         —Thomas Paine

The wages of sin are death, but after they take the taxes out, it’s more like a tired feeling, really.             

—Paula Poundstone