Parents Have A Right

To Question Coaches

To the Editor:

I was not surprised when I read Mr Harmon’s Bits & Pieces section in the April 2 Newtown Bee regarding a coach’s judgment versus a parent when judging the athletic ability of their children. It is spring and this article must relate to the students who did not make a spring high school team and now their parents have complained about it. This is not new. It is just the latest round of high school athletic tryouts that occur every season. For the player that did not make the team, and his or her parents, it is a difficult time of year.

Newtown is not different from most towns in American when it comes to this issue. However, I was surprised to see that Mr Harmon only reported the coach’s perspective on this issue. He raised the issue that parents are not good judges of their son’s or daughter’s ability as compared to the high school coach. There is another perspective — the parent’s. I have found that most parents have a good understanding of their son’s or daughter’s limitations and abilities. I have seen my own children for many years, prior to high school, trying to improve their skills to make the high school team only to have their dreams shattered by a coach’s judgment. That is life.

As a parent involved in Newtown High sports I have also found parents in town understand that the coach has to judge the players based on the needs of the team. Some of the time we do not agree with the coach’s assessment but we have to accept it. They are the coach.

What we do not have to accept, and have a right to complain about, is whether our children are getting a fair tryout, or an equal tryout to other players. Our children also have a right to understand from the coach, why they did not make the team. There are other times we need to rectify a coach’s behavior when our children are treated unfairly or are humiliated in front of their peers. I have seen this first hand, and yes, I have complained about it. There are numerous stories of coaches that selected a player for a team before the tryout began. I even heard of an incident when a Newtown coach selected a player even before they got to the high school! These are the issues that we hear at the time when our son or daughter did not make the team. We do have a right to understand if the players were treated fairly.

Mr Harmon is right when he states that high school sports are not youth sports. Youth coaches are not paid by taxpayers. High school coaches are. As a parent in Newtown we also pay for our children to play on a high school team. We do have a right to question the coach, the athletic director, and anyone else who can correct an unfair or bad situation, so that a player is not humiliated or hurt by a coach. Unfortunately, parents often are not allowed to have a constructive dialogue with a coach so the problem only gets worse. We, therefore, are left to deal with it on our own and gradually the issue becomes greater than it really was.

I would urge Mr Harmon to ask more parents in town whether the issue is about a coach’s judgment or whether they feel their sons and daughters are not treated fairly. My guess is that there are few parents that will question the judgment of a coach because from my own experience it only makes the situation worse for the player. I believe what Mr Harmon will find is that most parents will question the fairness and sometimes the poor behavior of the coaches.

Sincerely,

Joe De Feo, a Concerned Parent

Golden Pond Road, Newtown                                       April 9, 2003