A Wake-Up Call

To Parents

To the Editor:

This is a wake-up call to parents who, on Saturday, April 7, left their 8th grade children at the Dodgingtown Fire house.

Our child explained to us that a girl from school was moving away and there would be a going away party at the firehouse. It turns out the party was for two girls, one with a birthday. It was to begin at 6:30 pm and end at 10 pm. We have known the girl who is moving for about four years, so we told our child it would be okay to get a gift and go over there, but just until 9 pm.

We got there at 6:30 and parked the car. We saw a few cars lined up dropping kids off and no other cars were parked in the lot. A group of kids were gathered on the steps and we walked up and entered the hall. It was a typical scene, music, soda, decorations, but guess what? No adults! I approached one of the girls in the kitchen and asked who was chaperoning the party. The girl responded, Mrs W. I said, “Where is she?” The girl said, “Oh, she’ll be back in a few minutes.” I hung around and observed the room.

There were about 25 to 30 kids in the room and more kids getting dropped off every few minutes. Each time a child entered, they were escorted by other children. Not one of these kids came in with a parent.

After a few minutes, Mrs W. came in. I said hello and asked who was helping to chaperone this party. She began to ramble about being the only one, and for my benefit, she tried to explain that she would be leaving to pick up the girls that the party was being held for. By this time there are about 35+ kids. I decide to go outside and call my husband to let him know that I will be staying for a while.

Outside, the kids continued to be dropped off. I notice one mother make an attempt to go into the hall with her son, but about half way up the stairs she turns and heads back to the car. I called out to her and explained the situation in the hall and how the one chaperone would be leaving to pick up the girls of honor. This made the mother nervous and she and her husband hung around for some time trying to decide what to do. Mrs W. is now trying to cover her tail and tells me she is not leaving the party. She tells her daughter to get someone other than herself to go and get the girls.

After much melodrama about how she hadn’t even planned this party, Mrs W. says to me, “Listen, would you do me a favor and stay here till I get back with the girls? It’s just up the road.” I said I wasn’t going anywhere and Mrs W. left.

A number of times I had to ask the kids to stay in the hall area and a few boys challenged my authority. It was now going on 45 minutes since Mrs W. left and some of the boys and girls had moved a group of chairs into the far corner and wanted to leave the lights out. I decided to call my husband and tell him to come down. Mrs W. came back with the girls a few minutes before my husband got there and said she got lost three times on the way. When my husband walked into the room about half the boys in the corner picked up their heads and decided to stand-up! It is amazing how the mere presence of a man can adjust the attitude of an adolescent male. My husband observed for a while and then told me to get our child and go home. He went outside and as the lights were turned down again I explained to our child that we would be going. It was about 8:30.

According to our child there was a collection taken by Mrs W’s child of $20 each to help pay for the hall. Did any of these $20 contributions come from your child? Did any of you ask any questions? Who makes the rules in your house? When you get an “Oh mom, please don’t walk in with me,” do you wimp out and turn your back? Have you told your child that sex is a private activity to be shared with our spouse in a lifelong covenant? Does your child know that intimate physical contact is part of sex? Does your boy know that groping is disrespectful behavior? Does your girl know that pawing and groping is not a compliment but a warning sign that a boy has little or no respect for her? Did you know that some girls behave this way toward boys? What is the point of dating at this age? Is it to find a life long partner? How long do you think it will take to find a mate? Do they really need to start this young? Or maybe this is all just for laughs. Teenage heartbreak, emotional roller coasters, disease, or maybe death are not what I consider laughable!

Wake up, because this is the behavior of your 8th grade child. Soon, if not already, drugs and alcohol will be thrown into the mix. How much respect and self-control will your child have? You cannot rely on the “village” to support your morals. Some of you may have heard Dr Reed say you only have four years left to lay the moral foundation that you want your child to go through life with. It looks to me as though some of you have already thrown in the towel.

We welcome any of the parents of these children to contact us.

Mr and Mrs Joseph Villafano

79 Mt Pleasant Road, Newtown                                   April 11, 2001