We have long had death and taxes as the two standards of inevitability. But there are those who believe that death is the preferable of the two. “At least,” as one man said, “there’s one advantage about death; it doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.”

—Erwin N. Griswold

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it’s just sort of a tired feeling.                           —Paula Poundstone

Sex is the last important human activity not subject to taxes.

—Russell Baker

Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.

—Herbert Hoover

The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.                                                                           —Sam Ewing

All taxation, however disguised, is a loss per se… it is the duty, and the sacred duty, of government to take only from the people what is necessary to the proper discharge of the public service; and that taxation in any other mode is simply in one share or another, legalized robbery.

—Richard Cartwright

We must care for each other more, and tax each other less.

—Bill Archer

The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after taxes.

—anonymous

American tax laws are constantly changing as our elected representatives seek new ways to ensure that whatever tax advice we receive is incorrect.

—Dave Barry

Abracadabara, thus we learn / The more you create, the less you earn. / The less you earn, the more you’re given, / The less you lead, the more you’re driven, / The more destroyed, the more they feed, / The more you pay, the more they need, / The more you earn, the less you keep, / And now I lay me down to sleep. / I pray the Lord my soul to take, / If the tax collector hasn’t got it before I wake.

 —Ogden Nash

A lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math.

—anonymous

The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don’t have to pay taxes — naturally, no one wants to live any other way.

—Judith Martin

There’s nothing wrong with the younger generation that becoming taxpayers won’t cure.

—Dan Bennett