Some Expert Advice––

Helping Children Cope With Current Events

By Tanjua Damon

With troubling worldly affairs filling the media, the troubles are also filling the minds some of the most voracious media consumers –– children. Experts counsel that parents need to be aware of what their children are watching, reading, or listening to during the uncertain times of war.

Newtown Middle School guidance counselor Susan Connolly is the school district’s coordinator of training for crisis teams throughout the school system. She spent a week over the summer in a training program by the Trauma Learning Institute helping her to become a trauma/loss specialist. She explained that all the trauma teams in the district follow the same procedures and are available to students who may be feeling the stress of the current events.

“Especially now, it is important to have consistency,” Ms Connelly said. “It is crucial.”

She said particularly at the middle school there has been an increase in the number of students who have come in to the guidance office, but Ms Connelly does not attribute the increase completely to the world affairs. She explained that spring is normally a busy time of year for students, which compounds the normal stresses felt by adolescents.

“There are a higher number of students coming through the counseling office not being able to process the little things they normally world be able to,” Ms Connelly said. “But it could be a combination of things.”

The American Counseling Association recommends that parents limit the exposure their children have to any kind of media right now, Ms Connelly stated. Even though adolescents may be able to process what they are hearing, they will also need time to talk about it.

Things parents can do to talk with their children include:

*Create a safe environment. Parents should keep their children in an environment they are used to and people they feel comfortable with. Routines should be kept as normal as possible.

“If you have planned a trip to grandma’s house in Virginia for April vacation you should go,” Ms Connelly said. “Parents should provide consistency across the board, even with behavior. If you pick up and become inconsistent that’s going to transfer in a lot of areas.”

*Children need to be provided with reassurance and emotional support. Parents need to be aware of what their children are feelings and allow them to ask questions. Younger children especially should have limited exposure to the media. Let children know the adults in their lives are here to protect them.

“Let your children know they are safe,” Ms Connelly said. “Tell them they are not in a threat here in Newtown. We’re a small town and it’s very safe.”

*Be honest with children about what is happening or has happened. It is important for parents to provide accurate information. Parents should also talk to their adolescents about their personal views or opinions. Discussions should be based on the developmentally appropriate information for particular children.

“There’s a lot going on anyway,” Ms Connelly said. “Talk to them about what is going on.”

* Listen to children’s concerns and reactions. Allow them to express what is bothering them.

“Validate their emotional reactions,” Ms Connelly said. “It’s okay to let them know you might be anxious, too. But make sure there is a balance.”

Children may display behaviors that are extreme and out of character. Some of those behaviors could be fear and anxiety; nightmares; unusual inability to connect; severe cognitive dysfunction with memory and learning; inappropriate age-related behavior; severe emotional detachment; withdrawn; headaches, stomach problems, extreme fatigue; or severe change in eating habits.

If parents see their children displaying these types of behavior they should seek professional help immediately.

Newtown Youth Services Director Debbie Richardson said that the youth agency has not seen an increase in counseling services, but has noticed that the war is increasingly being talked about.

“It tends to be a part of the discussion,” Ms Richardson said. “They can’t help it. It’s just always there.”