By Kim J. Harmon

SOUTHBURY – On the outside, Amanda Marsilio was just as excited as everyone else when that final buzzer sounded last Friday and the Lady Nighthawks had captured their first conference championship in modern basketball history.

But on the inside, her heart was breaking.

A torn anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) suffered during a pre-season scrimmage with Ridgefield back in December sidelined Newtown’s star center for the entire season. After a superb sophomore season in which she amassed 239 points (the third-best season ever for a sophomore to that point), this was to be her year to step forward and take charge as, perhaps, the best center in the South-West Conference.

Then came the pop.

“When I first got hurt,” she said, “the trainer said it might be the MCL (medial collateral ligament) and that I would be out for about three weeks. I was devastated. But when I found out it was my ACL, I thought my life was over.”

College coaches had already been making overtures towards Amanda, writing letters and trying to get their hands on a season schedule. But when she got hurt, in her despair, she went home and tore them all up.

“I was so angry,” she remembered, “thinking, oh my god, what am I going to do? But I don’t think I was as angry as I was depressed.”

On top of the surgery, the painful rehabilitation three times a week, and nagging disquiet that anything she might do could re-injure her knee, Amanda – a fierce competitor – had to adjust to life on the bench and do what she could to help her replacement, Lisa Masella, be as successful as possible.

“I can’t imagine what it was like for her,” said Amanda, “having to step in like that. But I’m really proud of her. Even if she isn’t scoring 20 points a game, she is doing her job.”

Everyone did their job and did it so well that the Lady Nighthawks compiled the best record in school history, 21-3, through the first round of the CIAC Class LL tournament – despite the common perception, back in December, that the ‘Hawks would suffer without their star center.

Yet, they managed to persevere.

“I saw them do so well and, well, it’s almost like they forgot about me,” she said. “But of course I can’t possibly think anything bad about it because they have been so good to me and took care of me so well. I’m real excited for the girls and I felt like I was a part of it, but I still felt like I was just watching it.”

Coach Gregg Simon, who admitted that the team would have had a different personality if Amanda had been there because the offense would have been built around her, said, “But even so, she had a lot of influences on this team – on the court and in the locker room.”

Amanda added, “It hurts because I want to go out there and help, but more and more I’m trying to use my brain and help the teams with things I’ve seen. I have a lot more respect for coaches now than I’ve ever had. There are a lot of positive things that have come out this.”

But now it’s time to look forward – to June when she hopes to get the all clear from the doctors and all the way to December 2000 when she steps on the court for her senior season and tries her best to help the Lady Nighthawks repeat as SWC champions.

“I felt like I let the team down this year,” she said, “but I can’t change it so I’m making the best of it. I’m not going to waste my time worrying about it. I won’t let it affect me (next year) because I’ve seen people who bring their personal problems on the court and it affects them.”

More than likely, she won’t have time to reflect painfully on her lost season because the Lady Nighthawks – who should pretty much be labeled the favorites in 2000-2001 – will be busy defending their SWC championship crown.

“I’m so looking forward to it,” said Amanda.

Right now, though, she is learning from her experience and growing not only as a player, but also as a person.

“There are so many things that mean so much to me,” she said. “You can whine about having to do wind sprints or a defensive drill or something, but I’ll never whine again. People take these things for granted. I think this will make me that much more of a better player.”

And as good as the Lady Nighthawks were this season without her, think about the prospects of the Lady Nighthawks playing with her.

It’s downright scary.