A Safe House Along The Way To Finding

A Home For Every Child

By Nancy K. Crevier

Every morning 36 children in four houses in Danbury begin their day.

They range in age from 4 to 17 years old, and they are of varied ethnic backgrounds. When they sit down to breakfast, they are expected to remember their “please” and “thank you’s” and to respect the others who surround them at the table.

If it is a school day, they take a bus to one of many schools across the region. After school they do homework and tend to chores before dinner. If they want to be part of any special program, they make sure their behavior is appropriate.

After dinner, it is time for showers and some quiet time. They might watch a video — but no regular television programs — or play a game. The bedrooms they retire to at the end of the day are clean and comfortable, in a maze of rooms that are the hallmark of older Victorian homes.

There is no mother or father to help them start their day, nor is there a parent to greet them upon return from school. There is no older sibling to read a bedtime story to them, no younger sibling to whom they can call out, “Goodnight.”

A safe house at Family and Children’s Aid, Inc is the only place they call home. All of the children are awaiting placement in foster homes.

Newtown resident Cliff Evans would like to raise community awareness about this private, nonprofit organization that provides shelter to children removed from their biological homes due to abuse (physical, sexual, or mental) and/or neglect.

“It is as close as you’ll get to a home, without a mother and father,” he says. “Family and Children’s Aid gives a sense of normalcy, as much as we can.”

The 55-year-old former businessman is now development director for Family and Children’s Aid, Inc. After an early retirement at age 41, Mr Evans began looking for a way to help out in his hometown region. Having himself come from a foster home background, he was so impressed with the dedication of the staff to the children sheltered at FCA that he started working with them on fundraising.

His own foster experience, described as “a situation that was worse than hell,” made him cautious about interacting with the children, at first. Once he saw the children, and his now 21-year-old son began volunteering at the facility, he broke through that barrier and became more involved. He served on the board of directors from June 2003 until December 2004, when he began his present position.

The program works to place each of the children into a carefully chosen foster home hoping that, should the biological parent not be able to meet state Department of Children and Families’ (DCF) requirements for regaining custody, the foster family will adopt the child. It is important for prospective foster families to prove ability to support the child and have an appropriate space for the child, but they do not have to meet the so-called norm of what makes up a family. Single parents and those in rental housing are as likely to be selected to share their lives with a foster child as are families consisting of a mom and dad who own their own home in the suburbs.

DCF provides a monthly stipend to foster care parents, ranging from $600 to $2,700, depending on the needs of the child. Medical, dental, and therapy costs are covered by Family and Children’s Aid, Inc.

Says Mr Evans, “It’s disheartening…to learn that people who go overseas [to adopt] are unaware that we have these children here.”

While the children referred to Family and Children’s Aid by DCF may technically stay for only 45 days, some have remained up to three years. The campus consists of four houses in Danbury as well as one in Shelton, each staffed in three daily shifts by four or five counselors and a nurse.

The organization has recently purchased and remodeled two other homes in Danbury, one of which will be for boys ages 10–14, the other for girls ages 13–18. The extra housing will allow them to shelter up to 18 more needy children. Harmony House in Danbury is the only home owned by Family and Children’s Aid (FCA) that houses mothers with children who are escaping abusive situations.

When the children first arrive at FCA, according to Mr Evans, they are frightened, withdrawn, some may have behavioral problems, and they are often undisciplined. Under the consistent, guiding hands of the counselors and a very structured environment, they quickly learn that not only is appropriate behavior expected of them, it is the only way to earn points. The points add up to outings and special programs to round out their experiences.

Steve and Diana Paproski, of Castle Hill Farm in Newtown, have experienced the success of this program. When a group of girls visited the Paproski Cornmaze/Pumpkin Patch on Sugar Lane, the children amazed them.

“The girls were just excellent, so sweet,” says Mr Paproski.

“We were not aware of Family and Children’s,” adds Ms Paproski, “or of the safe home in Danbury. You never would have guessed the kids’ backgrounds. We roasted marshmallows, and the kids were allowed just two marshmallows each. They listened to the counselors, not one kid asked for more.”

Ms Paproski, a teacher in North Salem, found herself so enamored of these “wonderful and beautiful” children that she and her 14-year-old daughter, Stephanie, plan to spend time tutoring at FCA.

Family and Children’s Aid, Inc, founded in 1978, depends upon donations and fundraising to support its children. The DCF provides just enough to sustain each child for the 45 days they are allotted at the home. Anything extra must come from the community, and the surrounding communities have responded.

Newtown Girl Scout Troop 509 recently conducted a coat drive that yielded 45 winter coats for the children. Bob’s Discount Furniture of Brookfield furnishes the homes, and birthdays are celebrated every quarter of the calendar year at Bethel Cinema at no cost to the organization. Volunteers from General Electric Capitol of Danbury donated a Week of Caring this past spring to FCA, planting shrubs, painting interiors, and handling minor repairs to the safe houses. GE also supplied appliances for the homes.

For the past three years, Princess Ball, Inc, a Ridgefield nonprofit organization, has hosted an elaborate, celebratory black-tie event for fathers and daughters at Le Chateau in South Salem, N.Y. Last year the event raised $20,000, all of which went to FCA. Another Ridgefield business, Enchanted Gardens, will present a children’s performance on February 13 with all of the proceeds going to FCA.

The Second Annual Family and Children’s Golf Tournament is Cliff Evan’s baby. This year, the fundraiser is at Richter Park, Danbury, on May 26. Sponsors are still needed for this event, which Mr Evans hopes will raise $100,000 for FCA.

Another fundraiser this year is the sale of bracelets of the style popularized by Lance Armstrong. Family and Children’s Aid bracelets carrying the agency’s logo, “For Every Child, a Home,” can be purchased after February 1 by sending $5 to: Family and Children’s Aid, Inc, c/o Cliff Evans, 75 West Street, Danbury, CT 06810

Tangible donations and money to run the programs are vital to the success of the agency. At the top of Mr Evans’ wish list, however, is a cost-free donation nearly anyone can provide. Knowing from experience how difficult education can be for foster children when bounced from home to home and school to school, Mr Evans and the counselors at the agency emphasize, as best they can, the importance of academics. When there is no one to advocate for a child, at home or in the school system, it is easy, he says, for children to fall behind.

“We need qualified help with academics,” he stresses. “Tutors for math and reading especially will help these kids to not fall behind.” This is where he believes community volunteers can provide a valuable service. Tutors must be proficient, but they do not need to be certified teachers.

The children’s basic needs always take priority, but a long-term goal of Family and Children’s Aid is to build a state-of-the-art child guidance center in Danbury. This would provide a central location for therapists working with children in the safe homes, and for children in the area communities, as well.

Cliff Evans feels fortunate to have made his way in the world, to be blessed with a loving family, and to have succeeded against the odds. He wants these children, just a tenth of the 6,000 in Connecticut who are out of their biological homes at any given moment, to have the opportunity to excel, as well. A constant connection with the same person, love, guidance, and a place to call home are the start to a brighter future for the children.

“Our goal,” says Mr Evans, “is to give every child a home.”