Monica O’Brien has been named the 2021 Connecticut Mother of the Year by American Mothers, Inc (AMI).

The Newtown resident is the 44th woman in state history to hold the honor, which was announced on January 28. Along with honorees from states across the country, O’Brien has been invited to be recognized during the 86th National Convention of AMI in May. She will also serve as an ambassador for Connecticut’s mothers during visits with members of Congress.

One honoree will be named the National Mother of the Year during the convention.

The honor was established in 1935 by the American Mothers Committee of The Golden Rule Foundation. According to the AMI website, the recognition of an “admirable” mother was made to provide an inspiration that would represent a mother’s unconditional love, inner strength, and courage.

AMI continues that tradition annually, naming an inspirational mother from nominees across the 50 states, the District of Columbia, and the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico.

For O’Brien, 58, the mother of four, the honor is “a little overwhelming,” she told The Newtown Bee this week.

When asked about being a good mother, O’Brien — who ironically shares her first name with the patron saint of mothers — says she follows her own mother’s lead.

“I look to her, and being super flexible,” she said. A good mother is “someone who is very family centered,” she added. “Someone who can be there, who is patient and listens to their kids.”

O’Brien earned a BA in theater arts, with a minor in education, at Marymount, graduating from the Tarrytown, N.Y. college for women in 1984.

She continued her education by earning an MS in education, specializing in science education, at Iona College in New Rochelle, N.Y.

She taught in public schools prior to starting a family, then decided to stay home and homeschool her four children.

“I come from a large family,” she said, February 1. “I have five other siblings, and three sisters who had already started homeschooling.”

The decision to follow that lead was natural.

“They were people I looked to on parenting,” said O’Brien, who also found support in the Catholic parish she and her family were members of while still in Stamford.

She became very active in the homeschool community and is a moderator of a large Catholic homeschool group, St Monica’s.

O’Brien and her family — husband Sal Costantino, and son AJ, now 25; Christine, 22; Michael, 19; and Birgitta, 17 — moved from Stamford to Newtown 11 years ago. By that time, all four O’Brien-Costantino children had started their educational careers.

O’Brien is very involved in the special needs community, offering support to other parents homeschooling children with special needs. That support came from steps she and her family have already taken.

“My youngest has many special needs, so I feel I will always be schooling her in some way or another, but technically she will be 18 soon, so she will tap out of homeschooling,” O’Brien shared.

“My youngest is adopted through the state, so I am also part of a group of parents who have adopted children with special needs,” she added. “I just try to help other parents navigate homeschooling, or adoption, or special needs.”

She also helps run and direct the theater arts program for another homeschooling group, called Adoro Te, set up between Waterbury and Hartford.

O’Brien feels for the parents who have been thrust into the new world of remote education during the COVID-19 pandemic.

“A lot of the homeschoolers joke that we were made for this, and we had our system in place,” she said. “We have our kids with us, and design our life around their schedules.”

This is a big difference between the two approaches, she noted.

“I think remote learning is probably tougher. You’re suddenly in charge of your child’s education, but your schedule and what you need to get through is given to you by somebody else. The flexibility is not there,” she said.

With homeschooling, she said, parents choose that mode of education. They have time to do research, plan schedules, and even prepare their children for learning that way.

“We’ve had, in the homeschool community, other parents reach out to us,” she said. “They jokingly asked if they could send their children to our school now.

“It’s two different things,” she continued. “I really feel for those parents. It’s hard, when you suddenly have all your kids home.”

Having completed a quarter-century of homeschooling her children, O’Brien has returned to the workforce. She is the director of curriculum for Movia Robotics, a company that develops assistive robotic technology to help children with special needs learn and grow.

She is also is involved in the local community theater and enjoys participating in Ridgefield Theater Barn’s improv troupe. She stepped back into the world of theater about four years ago, she said, after landing a part in Brookfield Theater for the Arts’s production of Steel Magnolias.

She continues to volunteer with the Sisters of Life, mentoring young unwed mothers, an undertaking that dates back to her time living in Stamford. She is also involved with the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal and their outreach to the poor, and is very involved in the pro-life movement.

Of all the hats she wears, however, when speaking with AMI representatives, O’Brien said her favorite “by far” is being a mom.

According to AMI 2nd Vice President Sabrina Wisher-DeWitt, O’Brien was nominated for the honor by her cousin. Wisher-DeWitt said the nomination “described her as a treasure in that everything she does is defined by motherhood, as is her support for all of her children and other mothers.”

The support has always been about her children, not herself, O’Brien said.

“As much as I’m involved with theater, it’s different when it’s personal,” she explained. “I’m not a spotlight person when it’s my life.”

Having recovered from last week’s announcement, the mother admits to also being eager for the convention in a few months.

“It’s exciting that I can speak out for some of my causes,” she said. “We get to go to DC, meet with other representatives, and represent other mothers.”

Each state honoree is also given money to donate to a charity of their choice, which Connecticut’s Mother of the Year appreciates.

“I feel like there are a lot of nice things that will come out of this, not just for me,” she said. O’Brien plans to donate her funds to the Sisters of Life.