Parents, Kids, And Sports

To the Editor:

Kudos to Kim Harmon for his soul-searching article on parenting kids through what can be a very difficult situation for both the young athletes and the parents.

As a former youth athlete, parent who had two boys go through the three-sport system here in town, and former (albeit brief) Pop Warner coach, I feel qualified to congratulate him on taking the right course. In my experience parents tend to fall into one of two camps. The “my son/daughter is destined for greatness and you just don’t see it” or the “This is about having fun, everyone is equal, just let them go out there and enjoy.”

Unfortunately falling in with either of these lines of thought robs your child of the most valuable part of their participation in sports. Parents, your children will learn lessons from being involved in organized sports they will carry with them for a lifetime if you just let them. Part of the lesson they learn is how to see them self as their peers do, as well as learning that hard work and dedication can and does have its rewards.

To the parents of the “it should always be fun” child, I would say while coaching Pop Warner I spent more time being lectured by parents about how difficult the exercises were and how despondent it was making their kids than I did actually instructing. As a result, we shattered all records for ice pack and tape consumption while being thoroughly trounced by just about everyone we played. If you think those kids had “fun” you should have heard them on the sidelines. I stepped down because I refused to be responsible for putting kids on the field of a contact sport physically unprepared, as they were, due in no small part to parents interfering with their preparation.

To the parents of those “overly gifted” athletes I would say, your children understand the system and what they need to do to take it to the next level. If they are putting in the work and feel they deserve a better chance, tell them to ask for it, they earned it. Chances are if they don’t ask, they know they aren’t doing all they can to get that shot they want. Encouraging your child to learn the work ethic sports offers will serve them well both in their sports career and in life.

And Kim, keep fighting the good fight; I know its tough to forfeit your social calendar to watch your son ride the pine, but I believe you’re doing the right thing.

John Cascone

37 Turkey Hill Road, Newtown  January 31, 2006