Bullying Problem Within School District Addressed By Assistant Superintendent

By Susan Coney

On the evening of Tuesday, January 24, the parking lot at Newtown High School was relatively full. Many parents attended that evening’s swim match while others met to discuss boys’ lacrosse, but only a handful of parents turned out for an informational workshop on bullying presented by Assistant Superintendent Alice Jackson.

While bullying is an age-old problem, school officials are now working harder than ever to recognize and properly address the issue. Ms Jackson reminded attendees that the district passed a bullying policy in January 2004 and has been working since then to improve procedures to prevent problems before they begin.

“The law is very clear. Bullying and sexual harassment are illegal,” said Ms Jackson. “Our job is to prevent it and to stop it when it occurs. We have been training our staff, particularly teachers at Reed Intermediate School, the middle school, and the high school, as well as the bus drivers. We need to stress to the staff, students, and community that it is inappropriate behavior and we don’t do it.”

The district definition of bullying is any pattern of overt acts by a student or a group of students directed against another student with the intent to ridicule, humiliate, or intimidate the other student while on school grounds or at a school-sponsored activity when such acts are repeated against the same student over a time.

“Acts of bullying range from various degrees of physical aggression, social alienation, verbal aggression, racial and ethnic harassment, and sexual harassment, all of which are not acceptable behavior in the Newtown district,” Ms Jackson explained.

Ms Jackson related a few personal bullying experiences from her high school years and said that she never reported the incidents to anyone. Her experience is in line with the results of a 2004 survey conducted by staff at NHS that revealed that when bullied, 56 percent of ninth graders and 61 percent of eleventh graders did not tell anyone about the incidents.

Also, only four percent of ninth graders and nine percent of eleventh graders reported a bullying incident to a staff member at the school.

“Thirty percent of our students report they have a serious drug or alcohol issue going on in the home that is strong enough to make them feel disconnected,” she said. “Some kids look elsewhere to feel part of something, such as clubs, sports, church groups, or even gangs.”

In working on the self-esteem issues that can lead the bullying, the district is using “a wonderful resource book,” The Four Conditions of Self-Esteem, which lays out the best way to help children boost self-esteem.

Ms Jackson provided parents with the warning signs of bullying, which may include some or all of the following signs: torn, damaged, or missing clothing or belongings; cuts or bruises; few or no friends; lost interest or poor performance in school; and moodiness, teariness, depression, and low self-esteem.

The assistant superintendent offered strategies for parents: listening carefully to their child, not blaming them, getting the necessary information about the situation, and contacting the proper school officials to report the problem. She encouraged parents to help their child put the situation into proper perspective and to brainstorm strategies together to handle the situation.

Ms Jackson suggested numerous strategies to be used in any order, in any combination or numerous times to help the victim combat bullying situations. Students should seek help from an adult, friend, or peer when a potentially threatening situation arises. She encourages the victim to assert themselves by looking the bully straight in the eye and making assertive statements such as, “I don’t like it when you pull my backpack.” She cautioned that this strategy should not be used in severe bullying, however.

Using humor in a positive way can deescalate a situation. Victims should avoid places where a bully hangs out and try to join with others rather than being alone. Another strategy is the use of positive self-talk to maintain positive self-esteem during a bullying situation.

She suggests rehearsing mental statements such as, “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. I know I’m smart.”

Another strategy is to “own” the put down or belittling comment in order to diffuse it. This may be combined with some of the other strategies such as the use of humor or being assertive to de-escalate a bullying incident. If the strategies are not working, leave or disengage from the situation.

NHS Principal Arlene Gottesman stated that in her years as a principal she has been dismayed at what some parents teach their children about bullied.

“It is prevalent at the high school level for parents to tell their kids to hit back,” Ms Gottesman said.

Ms Jackson responded, “We as administrators are asking the parents to use our strategies and report the incident to the staff.”

Ms Jackson told parents that with today’s advanced technology students are bullying others in new ways by spreading gossip and posting photos, sometimes taken in school bathrooms and locker rooms, and putting them on the Internet in blogs, chat rooms, emails, and by instant messaging.

“Taking photos under the stalls in the bathroom is terrible sexual harassment. We are trying, with the help of the technology committee, to help parents understand the serious things occurring on blogs,” Ms Jackson shared.

In summation, Ms Jackson stressed that any child can learn to deal with teasing.

“It is more empowering as a parent to teach your child strategies to handle bullying than handling the situation for the child. That just makes them feel more powerless and teaches helplessness,” she said.

Ms Jackson recommends another book, Cliques, Phonies and Other Baloney by Trevor Romain, which provides seventh to tenth graders with strategies.

For additional information visit www.StopBullyingNow.hrsa.gov.